|Thursday| May 31, 2001 Sometimes... I let my boys eat Cheetos at 9am. I've been known, on occassion, to encourage them to take off their shoes and run barefoot. I make them say please, thank you, and excuse me (I try to anyway). I taught them the "Beans beans the magical fruit..." song. I let them stay up late sometimes. I often let them sleep in. I don't make them clean their plates if they don't want to. However, I DO make them take their plates to the sink when they're finished. I let them tell "fart jokes". I let them eat just the frosting on their cake...if that's what they want. I make them take naps...every day! I've never taken them to a babysitter (unless it's a relative). I make them say "I'm sorry". I don't force my opinions on them. I let them watch Survivor. I encourage them to watch "The Brady Bunch". I let them pee outside (they ARE boys)! I laugh when they burp. I'm the first one to praise them when they do a good thing, but also the first to scold them when they do a not-so-good thing. I won't let them have a dog. I let them use the phone. I remind them constantly that friends come and go, but they'll have their brothers forever! Why do I do all this? Because I AM THE MOM and I can!!! A mom. Someone's mom. Their mom. It still seems strange! After 5 1/2 years of being a mom, you'd think that I'd be use to it, but sometimes I'm not. Sometimes still when I hear one of them yelling "MOM" I don't answer because I think, surely, they must be shouting for someone else! I look at them everyday and wonder how I got so lucky...how did I end up with three amazing, healthy, beautiful boys? When times are rough and I'm feeling like nothing ever goes my way, I remind myself of how lucky I really am. I'm in awe of the fact that not only am I a mom, but I'm a mom to three! Three little people depend on me, need me, rely on me, and love me unconditionally...and that's a good feeling!
|Tuesday| May 29, 2001 I can't believe the weekend is over already!! The weather here stayed nasty until yesterday when we had our first sunny day in what seemed like a week. The cold, rainy days forced us to get some odd-jobs done that we wouldn't have gotten to if the weather would've been warm and sunny. We helped my mother-in-law clean out the garage. Seems my father-in-law was more of a pack-rat than we realized! As hard as it is to go through all of his things, it really needs to be done. It's kind of theraputic in a way...a lot of things we found made us say "remember when he...". So after two days of cleaning, its 'half' done!! Note to self: Stop being a pack-rat! The boys enjoyed the long weekend. They asked Mark every night before bed "Dad...do you have to work tomorrow?"...which led to cheers of "horaay" each night he said no. They had fun at Grandma's house, they ended up with all kinds of new 'treasures'!! They were big helpers ;) if you know what I mean! We got all of our cemetary duties out of the way and Mark even got a little bit of 'landscaping' done in our own yard. We planted flowers, put down wood chips, and even some white stones. We had planned a big day of yard work on Sunday which would've led to a huge bon-fire that night, but those plans were 'dampened' by the rain also. The only time spent on the computer this weekend was spent on the new project...The WhyILog. I've been so busy working on it that I haven't had much of a chance to read the weblogs submitted. I got a much better response than I thought I would. Thank you to all of you who have spread the word! There are still quite a few people listed in my favorites over there --> that haven't submitted their sites. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!! Ok...I won't nag, on to some 'goofy' web-stuff.
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"If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?" Ask Mr. ThunderPants!!
I'm making a conscious effort to reunite a community that has recently been somewhat broken and is now untrusting. Some of this comes from a selfish desire to have a portal of weblogs which would give me access to some weblogs that are different from the ones I usually visit but mostly my reasoning is simply to help others get to know each other better. Come join the fun and spread the word! Any weblog (as long as it's not x-rated) is invited to send in a link to their site along with an explanation of "Why I Log". Go...check it out...and submit your site!
Ugh...BLAH is the best word to describe my mood this morning. I woke up today (for the third morning in a row) to the sound of the furnace running and the tap, tap, tap of raindrops hitting the window. It's cold, it's rainy, and all of our holiday weekend camping plans have been cancelled!! We'd freeze outside at night not to mention being bored to death stuck in a tent all day to avoid the rain. It feels more like the first week of April than the last week of May. It's gray, it's gloomy and I haven't seen the sun shine since Sunday! Michigan weather stinks.
|Thursday| May 24, 2001
I can't help but think after yesterday's entry that I left you all with the distinct impression that I'm raising perfect little boys. Not the case. To be honest, the original entry was much longer and I edited it to shorten it up. But I have to set the record straight...the original entry started with a rant, and it went something like this:
I wish the boys would all get on the same page as far as their attitudes and moods go. I wish they would all be easy to get along with or difficult...on the same day. Whoever made up the phrase "terrible twos" obviously didn't have children or she would know that it starts at a year and a half and lasts until about age 4. Thomas has pretty much outgrown it (not that he doesn't have his bad days, because he does) but has moved on to a different kind of attitude equally as annoying. Jackson is at that "mamma, mamma, mamma" stage "needing" my undivided attention every single second of every single day. Gabe is at the age when things have to be his way or no way. There is no middle ground for him. Some days are so hectic around here I feel like locking myself in my room and letting them all tend for themselves. The only logical explanation I can give for not doing this is that I know what I would find when I came out and it wouldn't be pretty! True story:
One day last week the boys all seemed to be having a "bad day". I could do nothing to please any of them and they were all getting on my nerves. By noon all I could think about was how nice it was going to be at nap time. So in the middle of making lunch, Gabe did something and I was yelling at him to go to time out. Right about this time I heard a manly voice say "You need a strong hand in there?" It was the neighbor guy Larry at the dining room window (which is low to the ground and was open). Thomas, who had been the best of the bunch, just happened to be walking by at that exact moment and just said "Hiya Larr". Gabe (who didn't go to time out) took off like a bullet into the other room and didn't want to have anything to do with Larry. He told them if he heard any more argueing, fighting etc. that he would be back with a stick and whip them all. Needless to say the hour that followed before naptime was a pleasantly quiet one! Now when they start acting up, I just pick up the phone and act like
I'm calling Larry. Then they start in with "don't call Larry..we'll stop"! Heehee! Note: Larry wouldn't really spank my kids but hey...if it works?!
And for your amusement I'll add this so that you know I am just a regular mom with regular kids. I hate it when they argue. I hate it when they follow me. I hate it when they talk about "poop and pee". I hate it when they slap, bite, pinch, punch or spit at each other. I hate it when I'm getting after them and they look at me with their eyes closed...as if I can't see them because THEIR eyes are closed. I hate it when they ignore me. I hate it when I ignore them. I hate it when they say shit, son of a bitch, or goddamnit it public. I hate their breath in the morning. I hate it when they talk back. I hate it when I have to wash their mouths out with soap. I hate it when they're over tired. I hate it when they draw mascara beards and moustaches on their faces. I hate it when I have to use an S.O.S. pad to wash their faces. I hate it when they refuse to go to bed. I hate it when I give in and let them come to bed with me. I hate it when they reduce me to arguing with them. I hate it when they
win an arguement. So there, you see, things aren't all peaches and cream in our household...and now for some more fun. I love a southern accent. My dad was born and raised in West Virginia and even though they moved to Michigan before I was born he always had a trace of that southern accent.
Hickphonics Example: BOB WAR - noun. A sharp, twisted cable. Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."
|Wednesday| May 23, 2001
My boys never cease to amaze me. When they want to they can be so caring and loving towards each other. I love to see the three of them sit together and read a book or play a game or watch a movie. I love it when one of them isn't here and the others ask for him...wondering how soon until he'll get back. I love to hear Jackson say "bubba, bubba, bubba" when the older two aren't in sight. I love it when they fight over who gets to sit next to me or on my lap. I love it when they use their manners (especially thank you's). I love it when they wake up in the morning and ask me "how did you sleep?" I love it when they go to bed at night and tell me to "have good sleeps". I love it when they say "good supper you made mom". I love hearing them telling stories when they don't know I'm listening. I love to watch them when they don't think I'm watching. I love the way they smell when they get out of the bathtub. I love to watch them eat spaghetti. I love it when they give each other their goodnight
hugs and kisses. I love the way the sound of a freshly changed diaper makes when a baby runs. I love the smell of a freshly changed diaper. I love to watch them sleep. I love to see them wake up. I love to hear them explain their dreams. I love the fact that they tell me a hundred times a day "I love you mom". I love to see them with their dad. I love that they are my boys and that they will always be just that...my boys!
I seem to have a new obsession these days...reading weblogs. That's not a bad thing right? Well look who I'm asking, of course it's not a bad thing. It just amazes me how many people are trustingly willing to open up and share their lives.
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Me...unraveled is a truly beautiful weblog that I've just started reading is . What an amazing woman this is...with the ability to give so much love in such awesome way. God knew what he was doing when he made her!
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Love is a Battlefield is a weblog of a mother with three boys too! How excited was I to find someone else thats life is as chaotic as mine?
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Recyled Thoughts actually found me. And I'm glad she did! I love the way her weblog looks and she was kind enough to send me the url for The Color Schemer!
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Here With Me is written by Marilyn who is not quite a wife yet, but a college student...who is obsessed with gel pens!
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Endearment is now having guest entries. What a neat idea. I think it's for a week then Becky will be back to doing it herself.
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Brain Fog is also written by a mother of three! (Three girls at that) She is Heather and she suffers from "Butfirst Syndrome"!!
|Tuesday| May 22, 2001 Pay It Forward internet style! What a great way to reinforce the idea that the web is indeed a community. While you're there check out the Daisy Head weblog!
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I'm not a hippie...never have been. I don't know any hippies, and have no great need to meet any hippies. But something about hippies intrigues me. Maybe it's the fact that they all seem so carefree and happy, or that they all seem to share a sense of belonging and brotherhood, or maybe it's simply the fact that they always seem to be having so darn much fun...whatever the case may be here are some links to some "hippie stuff". Enjoy...
|Monday| May 21, 2001
We had a beautiful weekend! The weather was nice and it gave us a chance to have a lot of quality "family time". Of course, this family time took away from my selfish "me time" on the computer (thus the lack of an entry over the weekend), but that's okay. The boys spent more time outside than they did inside, which made for three very happy little boys!
We planted a garden! It's the first one I've had anything to do with in years and I can't wait to see how it turns out. Thomas really got into it...making rows, sowing seeds, making "hills" to plant watermelons etc. Gabe was his normal, non-stop-question, self. Which wouldn't have been so bad, but every question was a visual that required him to actually go in the garden, which led to a lot of "Getoffthoseplantsrightnow"'s. Jackson didn't really know what the heck was going on, but he did like the idea of everyone joining in the fun of digging in the dirt. Grandma and I planted tomatoes, peppers, squash, cantaloupe, watermelon, carrots, onions, cucumbers, and radishes. We're going to add to it with leaf lettuce, green onions, strawberries, and top it off with some sunflowers. I'm anxious to see how it turns out. I'm hoping that taking a big part in it will help the boys to eat more vegetables! Yeah, right!
Well I've finally dissillisioned Mark. I'm pretty sure that over all the years that we've known each other he had no idea that I knew how to use a lawn mower. But I blew it this weekend...now he knows, and I think I'll be expected to use it more often!
Remember a couple of days ago when I linked to the nifty A T notes? I've found that they are perfect for shaming your husband into doing all those piddly little things that you've nagged him to do for the past month! I made Mark a "honeydew list" and posted it right there on my desktop for all to see. Since it's been up he's done 4 things that I've asked him to do a hundred times (ok, maybe 50). Try it, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised! On to some "web news"...
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I can't even begin to comment on the latest "internet scandel"...I didn't have any thoughts, emotions, or feelings to the individuals involved because I didn't read the weblogs...but I will say that I'm a little shocked by it and feel bad for those that did. I'm not adding any links because I think those who know about it (which is everyone) know what I'm talking about and know where to find the information.
Those of you who know me know that I'm a "newbie" but I'm still a bit confused by the difference between a weblog and a journal. Is mine defined properly as a weblog? Or is it more of a journal? Just curious. After reading A Day-by-Day In the Life I'm still confused.
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I've admitted that one of my silly, silly vices is smiley faces. I prefer the big round yellow ones as opposed to the sideways text smilies, but I feel compelled to share a list of the most extensive list of smilies I have seen thus far! Visit The Canonical Smiley (and 1-line symbol) list to see what I mean. Warning: File may contain material that is inappropriate for some readers (particularly younger ones) -- caution and discretion is advised!
|Friday| May 18, 2001 The best thing I've heard this morning? From Thomas: "Grandpa has wings now...he can fly"! The funniest thing I've heard? From Thomas: "Gabe, if you're bad at school, they'll stick your nose in the corner"! I wondered...just your nose? The worst thing I've heard this morning? The alarm going off at 5 a.m. Jackson found his shadow yesterday. It was oh-so cute! He was watching birds at the birdfeeder out the dining room window and when he turned around he noticed his shadow on the floor. He chased it all the way to the wall, then walked back to the window. He looked out the window and then turned around again to see if it was there. He chased it to the wall again then went back. He did this four or five times. Then I noticed that he was "acting" like he was looking out the window and turning around really quickly...like he was going to surprise it or something! I spoke to soon about the weather yesterday. Remember that hot weather that I am not so fond of? We got it. A little anyway...and I wished I would've never mentioned it. It looks like it may rain again today though! Thomas and Gabe have started to constantly pick at each other. Is this normal behavior? It seems like it's non-stop. One of them is always saying "Mom, he..." Ugh. They can't seem to just stay away from each other. They have to sit, stand, or lay right next to each other...which leads to the constant pick, pick, picking! It absolutely drives me! So...that's the news from the home-front. And from the "real" world that I hear exists out there, I thought these links seemed interesting (and not at all gross or disgusting!):
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Not that I have any doubts that being a stay-at-home mom is the right thing (for me) but if I did, this would have reassured me that I am doing the right thing! It's not like I left a career it was just a job, and in all honesty five years from now I could probably go back (after being gone for 10 years) and get the job back! Now that's sad...but true.
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I know that Mary Tyler Moore is the villian, but in the previews Jean Stapleton (A.K.A. Edith Bunker) looks very creepy! Yes, I'm talking about Like mother, Like Son. The real life story of Sante and Kenny Kimes is guarenteed to scarethepoopouttaya (figuratively speaking). Myself? I think I'll stick to watching Anne Frank not that I'll get anymore sleep after watching it, but I don't want to taint the images I have of Mary OR Edith!
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Oh yeah...and Nicole is thinking about starting a book club of sorts. I don't know about you, but reading a book that doesn't contain the phrase "Sam I am" and actually discussing it with other adults sounds pretty refreshing to me. If you're interested, email her and let her know! As soon as she gets enough people interested she'll start that baby up.
|Thursday| May 17, 2001 The sun is trying very hard to peak out today. I hope it does...I could use a little sunshine! Our weather here hasn't been so great yet. Most days still require a jacket. I'm not a big fan of hot weather, but warm weather would be nice! We're hoping to kick off the camping season next weekend, but if it doesn't warm up a bit we might not be able to. The boys have been ready for camping since the snow melted. They love it!! Since they were all born around the same time of the year, they all took their first camping trip at about the same age. Right around 6 months. That makes Thomas quite a veteran as far as camping goes! We try to go as often as we can in the summer, but it never seems like often enough. Maybe one of these days we'll be those kind of people who own a big fancy camper and leave it parked at a campground all summer. Yeah right...wouldn't that be nice. For now though, we're just the kind of people who have a big spacious tent, who load up the van with all the necessities (tents, bags, graham crackers, marshmallows, and chocolate!) and go whenever possible. Of course the more kids we have, the more "stuff" we have to take...have any more and we'll have to rent a u-haul just to go camping. You literally have to pack a home away from home. Everything (and more) that you use on a daily basis has to go...and everything that goes comes back full of sand and smelling like a campfire. I'm not complaining, just making a point. Now only if I had a laptop and a cell-phone...it would be just like home! Speaking of phones...
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Im going to have a phone like this before my boys are teenagers...they already spend too much time on the phone! (This way I could get a return on any allowance they may be recieving from me by then AND my phone would be free for me to use.) And for only $105.00 I can have one!
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Phone booths...isn't it funny that when you're the mother of small children, things that seem gross or disgusting to normal people have no effect on you? Here's a couple of links to reinforce that notion:
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Which do you think is worse, public telephone germs or toilet seats? You might be surprised by the answer given by an actual doctor...not just any doctor, a parasitologist!
Last but not least...Snot and Boogers speaks for itself. (Make sure and check out the sound effects!)
|Wednesday| May 16, 2001 I'm back from the dentist...Ugh. The only good thing about it is I'm done for a month. That's how long it will take them to notify our insurance carrier and find out how much more work I can get done this year. But he assured me that the "bad stuff" is done. I have to get some bridge work done then I'll be finished.
I went in today with the understanding that he was going to finish the other half of my top teeth which is what he did...and he pulled one. I would've liked to have been more prepared for that, but it went okay. It was one that he had done a root canal on about 10 years ago and the tooth had since broke off and was of no good to me. So he pulled it. He got most of it on the first yank, but had to dig for two of the roots that broke off! Sounds like fun doesn't it? On a brighter note, when I was pregnant with Gabe and complaining about my teeth to my OB/GYN he made the comment that he could never be a dentist. He said something like "I don't know how they can look in peoples mouths all day". Hmmm...now does something seem not quite right about that statement coming from a person who looks where he looks all day? He and I got a good chuckle out of the whole conversation. To each his own I guess. We took the boys over to see their grandma again last night. She wanted us to go through some of Scott's clothes and stuff and take whatever we wanted. She just wants them out of the house and I can't say as if I blame her. The boys (and cousin Maddy) each got a red hankie to wear on their heads. Do-rag style. Thomas and Gabe acted real proud to be wearing something of Grandpas! They wanted them on this morning too...as soon as they got out of bed. I'm going to make all the kids "Grandpa quilts" with any clothes left over...what a better thing to have as a reminder! Good idea huh? (Wish it were mine.)
And the results of this test said: "You come to grips more frequently and thoroughly with yourself and your environment than do most people. You detest supeficiality; you'd rather be alone than have to suffer through small talk. But your relationships with your friends are very strong, which gives you the inner tranquility and harmony that you require. You do not mind being alone for extended periods of time; you rarely become bored. " ...right for the most part, but when do I have a chance to become bored?
|Tuesday| May 15, 2001 Yikes...we slept in until 8:30 this morning! It was storming and the boys were in bed with me and it just seemed to be the right kind of day for sleeping in. When I peeked at the clock and saw what time it was I couldn't believe it. Usually by that time I have my laundry done and the kitchen all neat and tidy. I felt like I slept half of the day away. But boy do I feel refreshed, like I've slept a whole day straight!! We took the boys over to see Grandma last night. Mark had some stuff to get done for her and we all went over and had dinner etc. It still feels so strange for Grandpa not to be there. It probably always will. It's just so hard to believe he's gone! Thomas still asks questions all the time, I guess that's a good thing. The one thing that this has proven to me is that it's never to early to get your life in order, he was only 46! We tend to think "I've got plenty of time to worry about this or take care of that" and that's not always the case! I have to go to the dentist tomorrow. Ugh!!! Another 1 hour appointment to do 1/4 of my mouth. Then the top teeth will be done. I didn't have the greatest teeth before I started having kids and they got a whole lot worse during each pregnancy. But since I'm done having kids and I've kicked the Mt. Dew habit (they should put a warning on it...Warning: Contents are highly addictive and will eat your teeth faster than battery acid!) I figured it's time to get them all taken care of. I'll leave you with the thoughts of those screeching drills they use and a few fun and interesting links to keep you busy!
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Since the guy from sitemeter was such a BIG HELP...I just went ahead and added a tracker from WebTrends. I hafta' tell ya'...It's Awsome!!! Go check it out for yourself. And best of all, it's FREE!
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Speaking of free...My friend at The Junklog (who, by the way, finally put up her own kind of 'about me' page that proving once and for all that she is not a dude) pointed me in the direction of the greatest thing I've seen since the Post-it note and to make it even better, it's FREE too. Give me a week and my desktop will be cluttered with a bunch of nonsense notes like "Don't forget to clear off desktop!"
Have you seen THIS? Now who thought up the idea of Kool-Aid that is green when dry, that turns blue when mixed with water...and tastes like cherry? How is it that after something is invented I think "Why didn't I think of that"? Of course we're saving all our Kool Aid Koolpoints to get a Magic Powerball!! Only 24 points each...but there's a limit of five per household! It should be lots of fun!
|Monday| May 14, 2001 What a beautiful Mother's Day I had. It started perfectly by being able to sleep in. Mark got up with the boys and I slept in until 8:00! When I finally did get up he had a breakfast of eggs, sausage, toast and coffee ready for me. He did the laundry, swept the floor, and did the dishes. After lunch I laid down with Thomas and took a 2 1/2 hour nap! I had no reason to be tired...I slept in and didn't do anything all morning. It was just the fact that it was Mother's Day, and I could... When Mark woke me up we had a house full of people and he had everything ready for a big cookout. We had ka-bobs, potatoes, deviled eggs, potato salad, macaroni salad, and home made carrot cake (he even shredded the carrots!). The boys had a great afternoon playing outside...they took out the remote control motorcycle (which we found out Gabe is a wiz at), rode their bikes & scooters, and drove the go-cart! The weather was cool, but it was still nice. Mark had taken the boys Mother's Day shopping on Saturday and Thomas' biggest fear was that Gabe wouldn't be able to keep their little secrets. He had been teasing me for a week about what he was going to get me and didn't want Gabe to blow it. Sure enough as soon as they got home Gabe started in with "Mom...we got you a card". But that's as far as it got. Mark took him in the other room and told him it was a secret and I never heard another word about it. They got me a beautiful gold bracelet with three tiny hearts on it...one for each boy. It's really nice. Mark got me a pair of shoes...the kind with no back on the heel, which is just the kind I wanted. Mark's mom got me a new outfit and a beautiful card. Dawn, Jeff, and Maddy got me an awesome outside chair for camping. It's a rocking chair...with TWO cupholders! I also got very nice cards from Tracy and Connie. All in all it was a perfect day!
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Now for some of those fun links to nonsense that I'm so fond of...
As if the words "Radio Flyer" aren't impressive enough...they had to go out and build The World's Largest Wagon!
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Now this is what I call a gutsy (?) About Me page!
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I guess I "lack imagination"...at least that's what they say at The Humour Hotel(Yes...with a U). All because of the way I eat an oreo!
Thursday May 10, 2001 Normalcy...It's defined as "conformity with the norm". Given all that has happened in the past two weeks I know that our lives will never be the same, but if we are going to get back to any form of normalcy it should start today. Mark returned to work for the first time in two weeks. He left the day that Scott had his stroke and hasn't been back since. I'm kind of a stickler for routine and since he's been home we haven't been following one...at all. I've noticed a huge difference in the boys. Their moods and attitudes haven't been the same. Poor Jackson was so miserable we considered taking him to the doctor to see if he had an ear infection or something. He cried constantly last week and was very clingy. I think he sensed all that was going on and was unsure how he felt about having a house full of people. He's been better this last week, but it will still hard on him. Mark has been so busy and every time he walks out the door Jackson cries to go with him. The things he's been doing though are not things that can include toting an 17 month old along with. Gabe's only had a couple of "incidents"...he's been pretty good actually. His problem has been with his naps. He's missed quite a few of them and even though he is very good when he skips them, we pay the price at night when he doesn't take one. He doesn't sleep well at all, he has nightmares and is restless. So for that reason, getting back to our routine will be nice. Thomas is just like me when it comes to routine. He likes things to be in order and it shows in his mood when our routine isn't followed. He's been one very confused little boy with so many questions! I've answered them all as honestly as I can and have encouraged him to ask me about anything that he doesn't understand. I was worried about him. When we told him about his grandpa dying he was angry and I thought for sure he would be the one to act out in a very bad way. More than anything he has been curious. The questions he comes up with... There is just so much to do. It will be a very busy summer. In order to get all the things done that need to be done it's time for us to begin the healing process and start living our lives again. This is what Scott would've wanted. He would've wanted us to carry on with our lives, make sure that his grandsons are happy, and take care of business...so that's what we're going to do.
Wednesday May 9, 2001 Another day with not a lot to say...I'll leave you with some nifty links to entertain yourself and a promise to get back to some real weblogging soon!
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I emailed "the people" at sitemeter to let them know that for some reason I can't seem to track where anyone comes from. I explained the entire situation in detail and asked if maybe I got a defective sitemeter (?) or if I did something wrong. This is the response I got: "No it isn't defective but it may be interacting with the other scripts on your page in some strange way." Hmmm...how helpful is that? So if anyone knows anything about it, feel free to poke around in my code and see what you come up with.
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Is it just me, or is everyone excited about the news that there will be a remake of Planet of the Apes? I am truly excited about this...and I am not a movie go-er. In fact, the last movie I saw in a theater was "Dumb and Dumber" if that gives you a clue. There's just something about a dark crowded theater that makes me fall asleep. I'd rather wait a couple of months and watch a movie from the comfort of my own home. But...Planet of the Apes? Wow. I'm not sure what has drawn me to wanting to see it...could be the fact that Mark Wahlberg is in it (and George Clooney has a cameo), or it could be the fact that it is directed by Tim Burton, or it could be the fact that Mark Wahlberg is in it...oh did I mention that already? Seriously, I think the reason I am looking forward to it is because I remember so vividly watching it as a kid. Whatever the case may be, there is a remake...its called "The Visitor" and it will be out in July. Woo Hoo!
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Ok...I've admitted to being obsessed with a couple of things (Survivor, weblogs, fonts, AIM, my family, the internet etc.) and I do enjoy my coffee/caffeine (to make it in this household you HAVE to have caffeine), but obsessed with caffeine I am not!
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Buy a Shot, Wave to the Camera! Hmmm...the original thought behind this? To "scope out the scene before you leave home". My thoughts behind this? Get off your lazy ass and scope it out yourself!
Monday May 7, 2001 I'm back...well kinda'. I'm going to try getting back into this, but I can't promise anything. I'm hoping maybe it will be therapeutic or somewhat helpful in the healing process. I'm hoping that getting my mind on something else will help to get me out of this 'funk' I seem to be trapped in. I guess I should start from the begining and explain all that has happened in the past couple of weeks.
It all started on April 25, when I received a frantic call first thing in the morning saying that my father-in-law had been taken by ambulance to the hospital because he wouldn't wake up. He went through all the tests and blood work, and ultimately was sent to a bigger hospital that is an hour or so from home. We got the news the next day that he had had what is called a 'brain-stem stroke' and the prognosis wasn't good. The family remained close by him, reminding him of how much he was loved and appreciated, hoping for the miracle that would put him in the 1% of people who recover from this devastating type of stroke. We all remained positive, even when his responses diminished more and more over the following days. If anyone were stubborn enough, or bull-headed enough to pull through this and make a recovery, we just knew it would be him. But we were wrong.
This giant of a man, who at times seemed like nothing could ever get him down, passed from our world into a better one on May 1. Everything that could be done for him was done. The words we needed to say had been said, and the words of permission to go are what freed him. He left quietly and peacefully while he slept on a sunny Tuesday morning that will not soon be forgotten by any of us.
The days that followed are somewhat blurred to me, I have yet to grasp the idea that he is really gone. I have dealt with death before I know that it takes time to heal. But this all seems so unreal and confusing. This is the first time my boys have had to deal with death, and for it to be someone with whom they are SO close to has been very difficult. The questions aren't so hard, it's keeping my composure long enough to answer them that's giving me a problem.
I could go on and on about it, but no matter what I say, I could not give justice to all that he was to all of us and what he meant to my family. He will be missed! A man of 46...he lived on this earth so briefly and left such an impression-one that could never be forgotten!
Thank you for all the friendly emails and the words of support and encouragement...it was greatly appreciated. Please continue with your good thoughts and prayers, we could really use them.
