Ending a Peace Walk

"A highway shall be there, and a road, And it shall be called the Highway of Holiness. The unclean shall not pass over it, But it shall be for others. Whoever walks the road, although a fool, Shall not go astray." (Isaiah 35:8)

Dear Friends,

Yesterday afternoon as I sat at the Highway of Holiness Church near Eastview, KY, I came to the conclusion that it was time to end the official walk.

The last time I really wrote to you all was May 30th in Lexington, and now it is June 18th and I am in Elizabethtown, KY. It wasn’t until the 13th that I had a way to email you, but you might guess that there’s been a lot percolating inside me, and it’s only now that I am finally ready to start telling you about it.

Here is a synopsis of what’s happened since I left Lexington:

Wednesday, May 30th: Aunt Lee drives me to the outskirts of Louisville, where I begin walking again and reach downtown about 10 miles later. After looking up the boyhood home and high school of Muhammad Ali, I head south for the 40 mile walk to Bardstown on the way to Gethsemani Abbey (where Thomas Merton was a monk).

Thurday, May 31st: I am stopped by a Nelson County sheriff when I stop to rest at what appears to be a church (the Ol’ Gospel Barn), but is actually private property. It looks like the sheriff might have a problem with me not giving my legal name, but he seems not to mind when he hears my plans. I reach Bardstown in the rain as night falls.

Friday, June 1st: Around 2am I am walking and am stopped by a female officer who asks me about what I am doing. She tells me she admires my journey and wishes me well. Fifteen minutes later another officer stops me and calls for backup when I decline to give my legal name. When I ask if I have done anything wrong or committed a crime, the officers tell me I have not, but that they can hold me indefinitely until they know who I am because I “might be a mass murderer.” Soon I am arrested and held in the county jail for 5 days until the court finally sees me (on charges of giving an officer a false name and address).

Friday-Wednesday in jail: Very uncomfortable, got to be very painful, and I finally gave in to the hostility being vented on me by confirming my name, SSN, and birthdate. There were threats and no clear indication that they could not keep me out of court indefinitely, until they got what they wanted. A hard experience, but one that I accept as a blessing, and don’t wish to seek any corrective action (It might take a whole ‘nother email to write about why).

Wednesday, June 6th: I pled innocent in court, declining to offer a defense, and am released around 5pm in the rain. I walk back from the jail to a place where I was sleeping before I was arrested, and the sun comes out. I walk to Gethsemani Abbey, arriving about 10:30pm.

Thurday, June 7th: The first service at Gethsemani starts at about 3:15am – I go to the 5:45 one and later have a sumptuous breakfast of oatmeal, raisins, breads and Trappist cheese, not to mention juice and coffee. After eating I help the monks make cheese until lunch, then after lunch spend time writing. The juxtaposition of the difficulty in jail with the loving and worshipful atmosphere of Gethsemani is not a coincidence, and it makes for a very prayerful and dramatic time there. Vespers, Dinner, Compline, and a presentation on forgiveness by Fr. Matthew. I stay up late reading and following the lead of something deep happening inside me. This time I make it to the 3:15 service.

Friday, June 8th: My things are packed, and after breakfast I tidy up and bid the monks goodbye. I visit the statue garden which represents Christ’s time of doubt in the Garden of Gethsemane. I head out toward Hodgenville to see Lincoln’s birthplace. In the evening I arrive at Lincoln’s boyhood home at Knob Creek. A LaRue County policeman stops me, and I give him my legal name when he asks for it (fyi: if anyone who doesn’t know my legal name really wants to look it up, it’s pretty easy to find if you poke around a little from the main calendar page. Spent the night in a field by the highway.

Saturday, June 9th: I walk into Hodgenville and at the main square a policeman asks me for my SSN (you’re the guy walking to Washington, right? – No, from Washington.) I give it to him. I stop by the library to do some email, but the computers are down. Just as well because I am tired and hungry and not sure what I would say to you. Walking on I find a really good dumpster behind a pizza place and find that I am ready to let go of the vegetarian (with fish) diet I’ve been sticking to (except in jail). A police officer drives up and is actually very friendly and supportive, saying he will pray for me. (It’s not illegal to take things from dumpsters, and there’s even a Supreme Court ruling to that effect -- check out FreeAdvice.com).
I continue on and find a water fountain and a place to rest at a church. Later on, after the wedding inside is complete and people are moving outside, two of the people in attendance approach me in the park behind the church, ask me if I need anything, and then ask me to leave. Okay.
Lincoln’s birthplace is right around the corner, and I am able to visit for about half and hour before the park closes, and it really means a lot to me to be there. I spend the night right outside the park.

Sunday, June 10th: I attend services at the Hodgenville Church of Christ and am invited to spend the day with a local family. Some of us throw baseballs while others ride the ATV. We all eat a sumptuous beef and pork bar-b-que (good thing I’m not a vegetarian anymore!) We go back to town for evening Bible study, and I continue on my own after bidding the Parkers goodbye and being invited by them to come for Bible study in nearby Elizabethtown (“E-town”) on Wednesday.

Monday, June 11th: I walk to E-town and meet Ron. We really connect over faith and he buys me a motel room for the night and gives me his phone # so we can reconnect and he can give me a book about Redemption. I sleep well, but watch a little too much MTV.

Tuesday, June 12th: I reach downtown E-town and spend the day at the public library reading Thomas Merton and learning about St. Francis. No emailing allowed at the public library. I find a really good dumpster and eat well. Walk over to the E-town Community College (ECC) and find the library, which opens at 8am (computers!). Then go across the street to the College View Church of Christ (where I will attend Bible study Wednesday evening) and go to sleep. The police wake me to find out who I am because a neighbor saw me sleeping and thought I might be a fugitive or just be dead. The police tell me to move to a place where they can see me from the road. It’s a little less private and quiet, but I sleep well.

Wednesday, June 13th: One of the church members wakes me up to find out what the deal is that I am sleeping on the lawn in front of the church. I tell him and he invites me to come back for lunch. I miss him for lunch, but we have dinner together instead before attending the Bible study. In the meantime, I go to ECC and do computer stuff. Catching up on email and following interests in Catholic Workers and Franciscans. I also meet up with Ron, who brings me lunch and the book (which is really good! – The Practice of God's Presence, by Andrew Murray -- here also is a free resource of some of Murray’s work online: http://www.ccel.org/m/murray) The service at Church of Christ is also good, and I spend the night at ECC after connecting with Bruce (from the family I stayed with in Hodgenville) and visiting the baseball game his son is playing in near the ECC campus.

A lot of things have been going on internally, and as I read the Murray book at ECC before going to sleep, I accept Jesus Christ as my Savior. Though I am already baptized and confirmed in the Episcopal Church, this is a significant change in my relationship to my faith.

Thursday, June 14th: I’ve done everything I set out to do in E-town, but I still have a lot of email and computer stuff to catch up on, plus I need to figure out what this new acceptance of Christ will mean for me and for the walk, so I put off leaving. I tell my family and a few friends about accepting Christ, and decide that I will continue the walk, and fold my new witness of Christ into it. After working at ECC all day, I eat and then meet William on a bench at a shopping center in town. Another man joins us and we end up talking about Jesus. William invites me to spend the night at his place and feeds me lots of peanut butter crackers and orange drink (even though I’ve had plenty to eat, it is nice).

Friday, June 15th: Coffee with William in the morning, ECC computers during the day, and then I visited St. James Catholic Church to get and drink of water and ended up finding lots of good reading in their tract rack. I ended up staying there reading from 9pm to midnight. All of this (and the Murrary book) is helping me better understand my relationship to Christ.

Saturday, June 16th: the public library is open from 9am to 1pm, so I work on the computers until closing time (sending Father’s Day cards by email to be delivered to my father and step-father on Sunday), eat some peaches I found early in the morning, and since everything else is closed now, I figure it’s finally time to move on, west on Rt. 62 a couple hundred miles to Sikeston and Dexter, Missouri. I find a couple of baked potatoes along the way and sleep in the woods after reading more of Andrew Murray (the book is awkward to carry in a plastic grocery bag).

Sunday, June 17th (Father’s Day): I wake up early and find a Methodist Church in Stephensburg. Having some time before the 10am Bible study, I read some more Murray. At the study and the service that follows, the pastor is very kind and supportive of what I am doing and offers me a chance to introduce myself and talk about my walk and why I am doing it. They buy me lunch afterward at the local drive-in burger joint, and I have a fish platter and a butter-pecan milkshake (and some ice water—it’s been getting hot in Kentucky!) As I walk down the road, I am upset and pray on it to understand what it’s all about. I know I’m tired, but I think it might be something more. I stop in the woods by the side of the road to rest. After sleeping, I read more of Murray’s book and copy a prayer for humility out of it. It’s becoming more of a burden to carry it, and so I resolve that I am done with it now and will give it away at the next good opportunity.

I resume walking and, praying for some water and a way to pass the book on, find the Highway of Holiness Church just down the hill. I get some water from the spigot, wrap up the book in a plastic bag to keep it dry, and sit down to rest some more and read from the Knights of Columbus booklets I picked up from St. James. I pray some more about the walk and find that the only thing that would say continue was my pride – my willingness to continue when I was back in E-town was not supported by a real feeling of spirit and heart once I was out on the road. I’ve been reading a lot about humility in Murray, and it seems right to begin ending the walk. I say thank you, leave the church, and turn around to offer a prayer of thanksgiving for the blessing that the walk has been.

Heading back down the road, this time east, on Rt. 62, I find a phone and call my mother to tell her of recent events. Twelve more miles to get back to E-town and make plans from there.

Monday, June 18: Now that I am back in E-town, this morning I found Isaiah 35:8 (at the top of the email) when I did a web search on Highway to Holiness. That church feels even more a fitting place to end the walk.
I have emailed my contact at the Gandhi Institute (in Memphis) to tell her about calling off the walk and to see if they would still be willing to have me speak there this Thursday or next Thursday. My plan is to earn enough money for a bus ticket, visit friends and Graceland, and speak at the Gandhi Institute about the deepening of my faith along the journey, how I came to the walk, and where I see myself going next.

And where I see myself going after that will be something to do with Catholic Workers , Franciscans (click here for a reconstruction of the 1210 Rule of St. Francis), or some kind of other mission-type work.

I’m just looking inside myself now to see if there’s anything else I feel I should say at this point about calling off the walk…

There are some things I would like to write about in the future: 1) The prison experience as a blessing
2) In God We Trust and the future of America (which I have been intending to write since I mentioned it very early on in the walk)
3) Not reaching Colombia, but still finding a fulfillment of the reasons and goals of the walk (and seeing for myself what lies in-between and along the road)
4) Specifics about what I believed when I began this walk, how that changed, and what I believe now (both in terms of religion and politics, maybe two separate stories)
5) Assorted stories about parts of the walk I haven't written about yet.

I hope none of you feel mislead or let down. It has meant a lot to me to have you all praying for me and witnessing this walk. I would like to continue this list writing more about the walk and the topics I listed above, as well as what the future brings. It may be easier at some point to switch over to a message board format to allow for more group participation without everyone having to receive/read everything.

Please let me know your thoughts, and if you tell me whether you want your responses posted, it will be easier for me to decide whether to post them or not! (Please let me know any questions too, I could have easily left something out of the story that you want to know.)