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Dear Delriece...
I have been a witch for nearly 25 years (I am almost 50)
but most of that time my solitary practice has taken second place to
the mundane aspects
of my life. This has become increasingly true since I have come to
live with a partner who it turns out
is a "closet christian". I don't think I would have ever initiated
the relationship (yes, I did)
in the first place if I had known this, as he had made several
disparaging remarks
about religion in general before we ever got serious. After we
started dating,
he became very serious and wanted to spend all his time with me, but
he was very good to me
at a time when I was recovering from a bad divorce. Not long after we
were dating seriously,
I became very ill and ended up staying in a hospital for several days
and off work for (off and on)
three months, during which time he was very supportive. But that was
almost two years ago,
and although he is still a wonderful guy, and has helped me out a lot
because of recurring illness,
I feel trapped. I especially feel that I can't have any meaningful
conversation
with him about anything in my life that I care about, and that I
really can't relate to the
things that he enjoys for recreation, which are limited to watching
tv, drinking, and an occasional trip
to a casino. I am at my wits end, as any mention of going camping, or
even
for a picnic to the park, or traveling to the mountains, or concerts
or theaters, all of these things
evoke a "yeah, you go ahead" attitude. What's worse, the few times I
have decided to "go ahead" on my own, he has been sullen and negative
about it, before and after. I would like more freedom, but I feel
like I have built a cage of my own forging, and, worse, that I really do
owe him my presence and loyalty.
Well, you may not have any advice for me in this tangled web that I've
woven, but thanks
for letting me get it off my chest. Think I'll go light all the
candles on my altar and give thanks that he has
at least come to accept that!
Blessed be,
Karmax in CA
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Dear Karmax,
Love is a gift, not an obligation. You are not repaying his loyalty by being unhappy while you walk on eggshells and not being true to yourslelf. Not only is this too high a price to pay, but it is also a very poor reward for him indeed. I'm glad you had a chance to get this off your chest and I pray that the two of you can talk about this and find a solution or find your own ways.
Light!
Delriece
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