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My Best Bitingly Sarcastic One-Liners! *Note: Best if taken in small doses.
What am I?! Flypaper for freaks!??
Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
I don't know what your problem is, but I bet it's hard to pronounce.
I'm not being rude - you're just insignificant.
I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
Aha, I see the Fuck-Up Fairy has visited us again!
I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
Sorry, I'm out of my mind at the moment, please leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as possible.
Who, me? I just wander from room to room.
It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.
You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
I can see your point...but I still think you're full of shit.
One of us has got to be stupid...and it's not me.
You're just jealous because the voices talk to ME.
I sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying!
I can only please one person a day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow doesn't look good either.
Excuse me - are these your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.
Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
Oh, what? Sorry. I was trying to imagine you with a personality.
You! Off my planet!
Wanna be laid? Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.
Man made beer. God made pot. Who do you trust?
Five days of the week, my body is a temple. The other two, it's an amusement park!
So many boys, such little minds.
How many times do I have to flush before you go away?
You've been a very bad boy. Go to my room!
I LOVE not being you.
SPEAR BRITNEY
Everyone's entitled to be stupid, but you've abusing the privilege.
HORN BROKEN. Watch for finger.
I'm thinking the same thing about you.
You're depriving some poor villageof its idiot.
I need somebody bad...ARE YOU BAD?
I'm so great I'm jealous of myself.
Jesus loves you...but everyone else thinks you're an asshole.
Heaven doesn't want me, and Hell is afraid I'll take over.
We'll get along fine as soon as you realize I'm god.
My foot and your ass need to meet.
I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed person.
Well, that's it! Is your ego stinging? Sorry about that. But...not!! Hahaha. ;-)
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