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Misheard Lyrics
The real lyric is in italics. Have fun!

Bonnie Tyler:

It's a hard egg
It's A Heartache

The Eurythmics:

Sweet dreams are made of cheese
Sweet dreams are made of this

George Harrison:

Wake up I might sit on you
I've got my mind set on you

Asia:

We are the Mormons
Heat of the moment

The Knack:

Nice aroma
My Sharona

Irene Cara:

Take your pants down and make it happen
Take your passion and make it happen

Bachman-Turner Overdrive:

Baking carrot biscuits
Taking care of business

Simon and Garfunkel:

I am a rock, I am an onion
I am a rock, I am an island

The Motels:

Only the lonely get laid
Only the lonely can play

REM:

Weenie skin, you and me
We knee-skinned, you and me

Chic:

These are the good times/Are you straight or bi?
These are the good times/Our new state of mind

Madonna:

Last night I dreamt of some bagels
Last night I dreamt of San Pedro

Manfred Mann's Earth Band:

She ripped up her douche in the middle of the night
or
Wrapped up like a douche/Another boner in the night
Revved up like deuce/Another runner in the night.

Rolling Stones:

I'll never be your pizza burger
I'll never be your beast of burden

Creedence Clearwater Revival:

There's a bathroom on the right
There's a bad moon on the rise

Elton John:

Reach into your room, whoa, to feel your genitals
Reach into your room, whoa, to feel your gentle touch

Beach Boys:

REAL LYRIC: "My love is burning brightly."
HEARD AS: "Mike Love is burning brightly."

REAL LYRIC: "But not for us, now."
HEARD AS: "Let's jerk off now."

REAL LYRIC: "Went to a dance, looking for romance..."
HEARD AS: "...lookin' for my pants..."

REAL LYRIC: "Saw Barbara Ann so I thought I'd take a chance..."
HEARD AS: "...so I thought I'd take her pants..."

REAL LYRIC: "Seagulls over the sea..."
HEARD AS: "Seagull's odor of pee..."

REAL LYRIC: "I dig a French bikini on Hawaiian island dolls..."
HEARD AS: "I dig a French bikini on a wild albatross..."
HEARD AS: "I dig a fresh bikini on the wild island gulls..."

REAL LYRIC: "...by a palm tree in the sand"
HEARD AS: "...by a poultry in the sand"

REAL LYRIC: "Check my custom machine."
HEARD AS: "Check my custard machine."

ABBA:

You are my vapid queen
You are my dancing queen

I was in jail just before we met
I wasn't jealous before we met

AC/DC:

Dirty bees and the dumb birds cheep
Dirty deeds, and they're done dirt cheap

It's a long way to the shop if you want a sausage roll
It's a long way to the top if you want to rock and roll

Aerosmith:

Do the laundry later!
Dude looks like a lady!

Use your calculator!
Dude looks like a lady!

Everybody's got their tuesday night buffet
Everybody's got their dues in life to pay

Christina Aguilera:

Gotta rub me to ride me, honey
Gotta rub me the right way, honey

Del Amitri:

And secretaries turn off vibrators and put on their clothes
And secretaries turn off typewriters and put on their coats

It's the right time to roll the meat
or
It's the right time, the wrong me
It's the right time to roll to me

Tori Amos:

My heart is sick of being in jeans
My heart is sick of being in chains

I know we're dying and there's no sign of a pair of shoes
I know we're dying and there's no sign of a parachute

Savage Garden:

I want to live like cannibals
I want to live like animals

If you jump I'll let you fall
If you jump I'll break your fall

I want to bathe with you in the sink
I want to bathe with you in the sea

Until this guy falls down on me
Until the sky falls down on me

Screaming Jets:

Eat your neighbors, but don't forget to say grace
Hate your neighbors, but don't forget to say grace


More to come!!!

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Beach Boys misheard lyrics courtesy of http://www.fortunecity.com/tinpan/parton/543/cap.html