I'm not ashamed to admit that I was less than thrilled when I learned that I was pregnant with Jackson. I had been pregnant or breastfeeding every year since 1996 and I kind of wanted to have my body back to myself. Once I got over the initial shock of it all I adjusted to the idea of this pregnancy and as it turned out, it was a totally different experience right from the start.

I waited quite awhile to go to my first apppointment with the doctor. I knew what to do and how to take care of myself...and I was in no hurry for all those monthly check ups. My first appointment was going to be so routine that I went by myself. I figured there was no sense in Mark missing any work to go to this one since there would be many more important ones. When the nurse was checking things out she got the strangest look on her face and started asking lots of questions. Most of which involved twins! She thought she heard two heart beats and immediately called in a doctor to do an ultra sound. I was speechless. I had so wanted twins when I was pregnant for Thomas, but I definately did not want twins this time. Thankfully the ultra sound showed only one baby. I should've realized at that first appointment that this was a sign of how different this pregnancy would be.

Mainly I felt very tired...all the time. I figured it was because of my age and the fact that I had a 3 year old and a 1 year old at home to chase around. I got bigger faster and by October people were already asking when I was due. When I told them December 17th there response was always something like "Geesh...are you sure there is only one in there?" I went to all my appointments and it was always the same, everythings fine, you're fine, baby's fine etc. We had decided that we would find out the sex of the baby this time. We were not in any way prepared for a girl. We had tons of boys clothes and toys but nothing for a girl. As it turned out we didn't need anything for a girl. From the second the doctor put the ultra sound on it was very obvious that this was not a girl.

The 40 weeks seemed to fly by! With my first two pregnancies I enjoyed every second of being pregnant. But this time, I just wanted it to be over! I had heard other pregnant woman say "I just want this thing out of me" and remember thinking how terrible that sounded. Although I never said it out loud I have to say the thought did cross my mind a time or two. I knew that this would be my last pregnancy so I tried to enjoy and remember every detail. I dreaded the end...all the testing, the waiting, and the pitocin drip. I had been induced with my first two pregnancies and I figured my body just didn't know how to go into labor on its own. But as it turns out, I was wrong. My body did know how and on December 7th I started the labor process...all on my own!

It was a Monday night and I just wasn't feeling right. No labor pains or anything but something just felt "off". Mark and I stayed up and watched Monday night football (which we rarely did...we're "all-day Sunday football watchers" but hardly ever did we watch on Monday). It was getting late and since Mark had to work the next day we went to bed somewhere between 11:15 and 11:30. I had no sooner fallen asleep when I woke with that all too familiar feeling of needing to go to the bathroom RIGHT NOW! Again I got about two steps away from the bed when my water broke. No screaming or freaking out this time though. I just said "Mark" very quietly and calmly and he was out of bed and standing by my side. We called the hospital right away and they said that since I had tested positive on my strep test I would have to come in right away so they could start giving me penicillin. Mark's sister Dawn came over to stay with the boys and we left for yet another 'non white-knuckle' ride to the hospital. I had always feared that. Being in labor and rushing like crazy to try to get to the hospital...wondering if you would make it or give birth in the car. But I didn't need to worry about it. Every trip I took was calm and relaxed, and definately not rushed.

When I got to the hospital around 2:00am or so the nurse told me that labor usually begins within the first 24 hours after your water breaks. I thought "yeah right...I've heard that before". She told us to get some sleep that we had a big day ahead of us. And so we slept, kind of. The doctor came in first thing in the morning and believe it or not, I was in labor. My contractions, although I didn't feel them, were regular and I was dialating like I should be. I had decided that since this would be my last delivery I would not go through it drug free. I wanted to know how all these woman on television went through it without so much as a scowl on their face. I knew that I didn't want an epidural but I didn't want the shot that made me throw up either...I wanted something in between. That's what I got...some nice little shot that did more than take the edge off. I was out for the count. The nurses monitoring me at their station couldn't believe that I was asleep during the contractions that were off the charts on their screens. I didn't really feel like I was totally asleep, I could hear Mark and the nurses talking and I thought I was aware of what was going on around me. But Mark said I was definately asleep. Laying there with my mouth wide open...snoring very loudly. This went on for a few hours and then they said it was time to push. I don't know if it was because of the medication or what but this time I had to push more than I did with the first two. All of about 20 minutes worth. How tiring...I don't know how those woman that push for like 3 hours do it!

At some time around 3:00 that afternoon we welcomed our son Jackson into this world. He was (and is) a beautiful baby! Even though this was our third child I still felt the same sense of awe as I did the first time. To be blessed with the miracle of birth is something that everyone should be part of at least once in life! I was amazed that I "grew" this child and carried it with me for 9 months. I felt that familiar sense of love and protectiveness from the first moment. I was excited to introduce him to his brothers and take him home to start our life as this perfect not-so-little family.

I was required to stay the full 24 hours after his birth but I was anxious to get home the minute they released me. Mark and the boys came and picked us up and we left the hospital knowing that this would be the last time we left with a newborn baby. To this day I still have those fleeting moments of "I want just one more", but they pass quickly and I know that I am truly blessed with the children I have. They are all gifts from God.