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Bad ears!:


A blonde guy with two badly burned ears went to the emergency room for medical treatment.
"What happened?" asked the doctor.

"Well, my wife was ironing while I was watching the ballgame on TV," began the man.

"She put the hot iron near the telephone and when the phone rang, I answered the iron."

The doctor nodded, "But what happened to the other ear?"

"Well, no sooner had I hung up," said the man, "when the same guy called again!"



Eek!:

Q: Why do blondes have see-through lunch box lids?

A: So that when they're on the subway train they can tell if they're going to work or coming home.



The Blonde Guy

A blonde guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.

"What's the matter?" he says. "I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman.

He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says, "Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!"

The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor.

"You rotten scum," says the husband, "my wife's having a heart attack and you're running around naked scaring the kids."



Be Free

One day a blonde went to a sea food restaurant and saw the tank where they kept the lobsters. She took pity on these creatures and hid them in her purse.

Later she went to the woods to set the poor animals free...



Blonde Logic

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.

The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"

The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"

The Blonde said, "So what, we're going to be the first on the sun!"

The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.

To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. we're going at night!"



Blonde in Vegas

A guy is walking from the elevator to his room in a Las Vegas hotel. He sees a blonde at the Coke machine. She is repeatedly putting in coins and pressing a button on the machine. Each time, as a bottle of Coke comes down the chute, she jumps up & down, squealing with excitement.

The guy stops her and asks, "Excuse me, can you tell me what you are doing?"

The blonde replies, "Like, duhhh...I'm WINNING."



Stop!

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting.

The trooper cranked down his window and yelled to the driver, "PULL----OVER!"

"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "SCARF!"


Mail me with any more blonde jokes!