<-- -->

Free Web Hosting : Free Hosting : Troubled Teens : Report Abuse

jokes

there is a goth, a metalhead, and a punk standing at the edge of a cliff, how do you tell who's who?

Simple the goth is the one contemplating jumping off the cliff, the metalhead is yelling at the goth "JUMP! JUMP!" and the punk is the one who runs up from behind and pushes them both over!!

How do you get a goth out of a tree?
Cut the rope!

Theres a goth walking down the road with a rat on his shoulder.
An old lady walks past, stops, stares at the two and says "Yeuk! What are you doing with that revolting creature?"
"Squeak squeak squeak!" says the rat.

Why is it so hard for goths to get work?
Because all they can do is mope the floors are depress the buttons.

What did the vampire say when he looked in the mirror?
"So nice not to see you again"

(in a resturant)
"Waiter! Waiter! this man just died!"
"he's not dead Sir, he's just dreaming."

How many casuals does it take to make an hamburger?

Who cares, just think of all the fun we could have putting them through the mincer to find out!

How many "New Kids on the Block" does it take to paint a wall red?
Only one if you throw it hard enough.

How many fratboys does it take to wallpaper a room?
That depends on how thinly you slice them.

How many cure fans does it take to make cheesecake?
None, there are no cure fans in cheesecake.

Robert Smith will never die, he'll just need less makeup.

Why did the goth cross the road?
It didn't, it was dead.

"He's *such* a *goth* ..."
"How *much* of a goth *is* he?"
"... that when he hangs around the house ... he
*hangs* around the house!"

"Say, who was that *goth* I saw you with last
night?"
"*That* was no *goth*! I'm a *necrophiliac*!"

How many goths does it take to change a lightbulb?

What's a lightbulb?

How many goths does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three, one to change it and two to talk about Lord Byron's Grand Tour and creative uses of laudinum in a metaphysical environment.

How many goths does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, but one has to light the candle.

How many goths does it take to change a lightbulb?
Six. One to change the bulb, five to scream "Turn that bloody light off!"

What do you get if you cross a goth and a toilet?
The cisterns of mercy.

These Jokes was bright to you by The Cure Jokes ....
Thanks to the makers.

 

Short One Line Jokes -Brain Candy Jokes Collection (Below)

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who just bought an A.M. radio?
A: It took her two weeks to figure out that you could play it at night.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who stood in front of a mirror with her eyes closed?
A: She wanted to see what she looked like asleep.

 

Q: Did you hear about the blonde whose boyfriend said he loved her?
A: She believed him.

Q: Did you hear about the new epidemic among blondes?
A: It's called MAIDS - if they don't get one, they die.

Q: How can you tell which blonde is the waitress?
A: She is the one with the tampon behind her ear, wondering what she did with her pencil.

Q: How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?
A: She fell out of the tree.

 

Q: How did the blonde die drinking milk?
A: The cow fell on her.

Q: How did the blonde die ice-fishing?
A: She was run over by the zambonis machine.

Q: How did the blonde get ready for Y2K?
A: She changed all her y's to k's.

Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
A: She threw it off a cliff.

How can you get four suits for a dollar?
Buy a deck of cards.

How do dinosaurs pay their bills?
With Tyrannosaurus checks.
What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?
Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?
Tyrannosaurus Tex.

How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?
They had reservations.

How do you make a hot dog stand?
Steal its chair.

How do you make an egg laugh?
Tell it a yolk.

How do you prevent a Summer cold?
Catch it in the Winter!

How does a pig go to hospital?
In a hambulance.

If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?
Silverware.

What bird can lift the most?
A crane.

What bone will a dog never eat?
A trombone.

What can you hold without ever touching it?
A conversation.

What clothes does a house wear?
Address.

What country makes you shiver?
Chile.

What did one elevator say to the other?
I think I'm coming down with something!

What did one magnet say to the other?
I find you very attractive.

What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?
Her New Jersey.

What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?
It's time to go to sweep.

What did the necktie say to the hat?
You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.

What did the rug say to the floor?
Don't move, I've got you covered.

What do bees do with their honey?
They cell it.

What do you call a calf after it's six months old?
Seven months old.

What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?
Dead.

What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop.

What do you call a song sung in an automobile?
A cartoon.

What do you call the best butter on the farm?
A goat.

What do you do when your chair breaks?
Call a chairman.

What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A brick layer!

What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia!

What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?
Bugs Bunny.

What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?
Wet feet.

What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?
A rash of good luck.

What happens when frogs park illegally?
They get toad.

What has 6 eyes but can't see?
3 blind mice.

What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?
A piano.

What has one horn and gives milk?
A milk truck.

What is a tree's favorite drink?
Root beer.

What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?
Sleep somewhere else.

What kind of cats like to go bowling?
Alley cats.

What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?
Deviled eggs.

What kind of ties can't you wear?
Railroad ties.

What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?
A dead centipede.

What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?
An in-car-nation.

What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?
The Presidential Seal.

What's green and loud?
A froghorn.

What's round and bad-tempered?
A vicious circle.

Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?
He took them to a pignic.

Where do fortune tellers dance?
At the crystal ball.

Why did the doughnut shop close?
The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!

Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?
His powder puff is on the wrong end.

Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?
She ran away from the ball.

Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?
She couldn't control her pupils.


BACK