matthew smith - lyrics
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I’ve said my peace without saying a thing
I’ve burned your bridges all away
been a good boy, it’s a good thing that’s the case
I’ve been all along, a long way from home
dug up your seeds that were meant to be sown
dressed up nice and neat, nice to know my cover’s
been blown away
set you a seat at the head of the cast
and I cast all the lies that I’ve been blessed
with this I’ve found myself throwing a test
cinema’s all the rage this year
you said one night over a couple of beers
who you are this week, keep on acting in your mirror
that’s been tossed away
pedestals fall hard these days
images are torn and fall short of the way
we viewed each other back in the day
before we were both torn away
I’ve said my peace without saying too much just another atlanta winter if sixty wasn’t the worst of it so now you’re sixty your six decades don’t really show so now you’re sixty so now you’re sixty lying here, in bed I’ve been here my mind is sealed I’ve been here my eyes can feed I’ve been here time out, enough late night I’m not prepared …short time I’m afraid late nights after all this time I never wanted anything to feel nothing out of my control I never wanted anything to feel nothing counting on my pride I can’t believe I never wanted anything to feel nothing hey baby, where you going well, I’m writing, I’m writing yet another well, I wonder (wonder, wonder, wonder) hey baby, where you going well, I wonder (wonder, wonder, wonder) the light bulb’s flashing, cameras snapping I’m just a hitchhiker earlier that morning, they stood without warning well, I’m just a hitchhiker no time to save her, the people gathered well, I’m just a hitchhiker you take what’s mine this is the way things don’t make sense pitiful, critical, political, responsible for you don’t you think that sometimes even I deserve to be alone this is the way things don’t make sense you don’t know that you can’t see me You take what’s mine, I’ve taken it all from charity this is the way things don’t make sense you’d think after so much time wandering aimlessly searching for nothing but you you’d think I had made my mind out of wandering aimlessly searching for nothing but you I’m sheltered by my mind, but I see through all the lines you’d think I’d have my fill of this wandering aimlessly searching for nothing but you praying for some time I have a place where I can run in the meantime things past said are wrong I have a place where I can run in the meantime every time I quench my thirst can I borrow some time I have a place where I can run in the meantime take the long way home tonight it’s begun to see it through once the choice was made to choose you’ve begun to think it through fading far beneath your light I’ve begun to see it through take the long way home tonight have you ever known what it’s like to be dumb I’ll tell you what it’s like to be dumb they tell me I should write some more happy songs have you ever know what it’s like to be a jerk they tell me I should go & get a grip have you ever known what it’s like to be wrong
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and now I’ll let you be the crutch
for my broken limb, I’ll limp away, then burn out my clutch
I hope for me this race is won
but I’ll just wait until I hear that gun
twiddle my thumbs, looking for the best chance
to run away, to run away, to run away
Choose another song...
Sixty
december, wearing shorts and then it starts to snow
everything goes on as planned
as we all turn to face the man
whose big day’s gonna be the big 6-0
you gotta’ put up with your kid
who’s all grown up and moved away from home
he rarely calls, and never writes
only stops by to grab a bite
& to wash a couple months’ worth of clothes
seems like only ten years ago, you were fifty
so now you’re sixty
I know that you’ll see at least that many more years
as long as you eat your broccoli
you’ve got your hair and I hope it doesn’t go
you’ve always given everything your all
especially your cholesterol
guess you should stop eating so many peanuts (?!?)
seems like thirty years ago; wait, I wasn’t even born
so now you’re sixty
In another twenty, I expect to hear you say
“could you please pass the broccoli”
seems like only ten years ago, you were fifty
so now you’re sixty
I know that you’ll see at least that many more years
as long
as long as you eat your broccoli
As Of Yet
I feel that it’s all in my head
awake by choice – my fault
& it seems that I
have been found guilty of my crimes
& that I lied awake by choice
I’ve been here far too long
waiting for my state to appea
l
my case – a waste
but now I can see
that I’m just a facsimile
of how I used to be
I’ve been here far too long
I’ve been here
I’ve been here far too long
off what I see as immortality
my feet can run me away
back up – a wall
but again I lied, an all too familiar song
betrayed, I run away
I’ve been here far too long
I’ve been here
I’ve been here far too long
too far, I’ve gone in circles
now I’m back to begin again
Late Night
I don’t have the right
to face up to something
left inside
last night
I had a biting urge to
struggle not to fight
through green eyes
to face what I’ve become
I’m aware
of the damage that’s been done within a…
to pass up a rhyme
reason tells us why
we all cry
inside
I tried not to try
to give up on what’s become
a fading line
to lie down in your grave
but I can’t pretend
that I want to save you on a late night
when I don’t have the right
to face off with someone
not in my sight
Tendency
I’m not sure I made the right decisions
future bringing back my past
presented, humbled me
find a place to run
hide away, no one will see it coming
I’ve seen the show
I turned to go
like me, like you
like all of us have the tendency to do
below the surface of my skin
I think I’m slowly growing deaf
to whoever pretends to know; I don’t know
like me, like you
like all of us have the tendency to do
to stay intact, I wrestle everyone
saved the day again
the night has turned to ashes
it’s burned alive by the sun
I’ve come to this, my guard’s off sleeping
constant in saying
I’m not afraid, I won’t be taken
too long I’ve waited for the day
that I could walk again
& now I see the light in your eyes
like me, like you
like all of us have the tendency
we all have the tendency
The Middle Of My Song
I’m trying to write you a song
I’ve been up all night
just trying to get the tune right
& now my baby’s gone
so you’re leaving, wait a minute
you’re leaving in the middle of my song
I’ll sit here till dawn
wishing that you were wrong
& getting used to being alone
song about being torn apart
I gave you all my heart
you only gave me part
but there’s still none greater than thou art
I hope I find another
one that feeds me well
when my stomach starts to achin’
I’ll dream of your great bacon
& crawl back inside my shell
just how long until you tell me
the answers, the answers to my questions
I’ll just sit here a while, playing that song
thinking, “where the hell did I go wrong?”
I’m trying to sing you a song
I’ve been up all night
just trying to get the words right
& now my baby’s gone
just how long until you tell me
the answers, the answers to my questions
I’ll just sit here a while, playing that song
thinking, “what the hell was I thinking?”
Homecoming
around the train station this afternoon
the engine died, a woman cried
as the rest of the crowd sung out of tune
some people left cheering, while others left leering
as the conductor raised his head up to the sky
rain was falling, a child was calling
his mother was carried away to the other side
I see a little of everything
how much time till I go home
waiting for that train to take them away
the boy was whining, as if implying
that there was something he had wanted to say
she just hushed him; the train was coming
there’s plenty of time to talk another time
no sign of a struggle, until the devil
made her slip and fall right on the line
I see a little of everything
how much time till I go home
she was knocked unconscious by the fall
the wheels were screaming, the whistle singing
a funeral march for one but heard by all
the porters took her, the reporters took pictures
as her lifeless body was carried away
the engine cried, a woman died
the train boarded and proceeded to sail away
I see a little of everything
how much time till I...
I’m just a hitchhiker
I’ve seen too much so now I’m just
waiting for that train to take me home
Things Don’t Make Sense
I’ve taken it all from charity
given back to the man
who leans toward the energy
of resentment, I say
“I’m useless in this crisis”
take it back anyway
all you’ll hear is silence
this is the way things don’t make sense
sitting here, to clear my ears of uselessness
empathy, crowding me, to see the endless sea
listening quietly, negative energy
don’t you think that sometimes even I deserve to be alone
this is the way things don’t make sense
from where you’re sitting still
climbing and tunneling, wandering slowly
throughout my doubt
that maybe I deserve a place to go
maybe I deserve a place to go
don’t you think that sometimes even I deserve to be alone?
give it back to the man who leans against the energy
of resentment, I say, ”I’m useless in this crisis”
take it back anyway and all you’ll hear is silence
all you’ll hear is...
this is the way things don’t make sense
(a pathetic) Point Of View
it would only get easier and easier
properly believing that I am why it’s here
you’d think I’d get it all together
too much practice makes me weaker and weaker
a valid excuse, my points were all too clear
something that was quicker than quicksand
I’m better off denying: I am why it’s here
you’d think that I had made some sense by now
& that too much time had left me wiser and wiser
that the sound of my own voice is all I hear
when captured, take my place, catch the expression on my face
too vain to let me know that it won’t be taken slow
think I’ll run and hide instead, forget every word I’ve said
since it started I’ve grown older and colder
to the thought that I don’t know why I’m here
you’d think that I’d have something better to do
than to sit here and feel tired, so tired
sleep makes me nervous, my turn is far too near
The Size Of My Errors
to come into my life
hoping for some change
to look the other way
needing some sleep
to enter into me
taking other turns
hoping just to serve
I know a place where I can’t see
the size of my errors
wishing they were gone
understand the truth is
nonsense to the ruthless
so much wasted time
even still I try to rhyme
I know a place where I can’t see
the size of my errors
I just get hungry later
once in a while I excuse myself
dismissed as imagination
to come into your life
I can push for a change
not to look the other way
I know a place where I can’t see
the size of my errors
The Long Way Home
find the meaning of this life
etched upon your right
take the long way home tonight
find the way you once wanted to be
before the company arrived
the ideal we all should choose
the weight has shifted onto you
on your back – watch my back, I’ll watch yours too
it was clear you’d never lose
your rightful point of view
walking in your wake
“the tide was turned too late”, it said
there’s nothing left to take
the idea was never meant to lose
the impact of the fading hues
in the sky – I wonder why you had to choose
the autumn leaves are far from sight
I once held that light
the idea that I would never lose
faith in promises in you
at my back – turn your back and I’ll turn mine too
take the long way home tonight
the long way...
(untitled)
with your face deep in the mud
& you try & rhyme, but nothing comes out to play
come & play
when you’ve thrown your head into the mix
& you’re out of smokes & just can’t get that fix
I need my fix
but, you can’t be right to me unless you’ve been wrong
a thousand times before, I’ve been wallowing
self-pity is my friend, because once again
I feel dumb
& when you smile at me I don’t get much more than a smirk
well, I’d love to tell you a story, but I’m afraid it would bore me
‘cause I know what it’s like to be a jerk
but, I’m afraid it wouldn’t be steady, & I’d slip
so be prepared to drop me if I fall
I know, so please don’t tell me I’ve been a jerk
& you don’t know why you’re singin’ this song
well, don’t stop & wonder
because I was under
the influence of my tongue
& every night, I cry at night
thinking that I was right
I still know deep inside what it’s like
I know what it’s like
I know what it’s like
I know what’ it’s like to have been wrong