<-- -->

Free Web Hosting : Free Hosting : Troubled Teens : Report Abuse

ÿş<HTML> <title>Essays ... about Simon Frasier</title> <head> <style>  </style> </head> <body bgcolor="fffffb" body background="bg.gif" bgproperties=fixed text="#000000" link="#7B5115" vlink="6C6C6C" alink="E2B004"> <center><a href="index.html"><img src="logo.jpg" width="754" height="82" alt="Other Beautiful Things" border="0"></a><TABLE BORDER=0 CELLPADDING=0 CELLSPACING=0> <TR> <TD> <A HREF="index.html"> <IMG SRC="home.gif" WIDTH=57 HEIGHT=22 BORDER=0></A></TD> <TD> <A HREF="images.html"> <IMG SRC="images.gif" WIDTH=76 HEIGHT=22 BORDER=0></A></TD> <TD> <A HREF="media.html"> <IMG SRC="media.gif" WIDTH=155 HEIGHT=22 BORDER=0></A></TD> <TD> <A HREF="storyline.html"> <IMG SRC="story.gif" WIDTH=137 HEIGHT=22 BORDER=0></A></TD> <TD> <A HREF="press.html"> <IMG SRC="press.gif" WIDTH=45 HEIGHT=22 BORDER=0></A></TD> <TD> <A HREF="words.html"> <IMG SRC="words.gif" WIDTH=142 HEIGHT=22 BORDER=0></A></TD> <TD> <A HREF="links.html"> <IMG SRC="links.gif" WIDTH=46 HEIGHT=22 BORDER=0></A></TD> <TD> <A HREF="updates.html"> <IMG SRC="updates.gif" WIDTH=96 HEIGHT=22 BORDER=0></A></TD> </TR> </TABLE> <hr><a href="words.html#essays">Essays Index</a> | <a href="http://www.stormpages.com/knsfanfic/index.html">Fan Fiction</a> | <a href="r&r.html">Reviews and Rants</a> | <a href="humor.html">Humor</a><hr> Simon Essays </center> 13. <a href="#simon12">"Why I Think This Isn't Simon"</a> ... Kim 12. <a href="#simon11">"The Evidence -- AKA: Why I think this isn't Katie's Simon"</a> ... Kavi 10. <a href="#simon10">More Thoughts on How Simon Has Been Acting"</a> ... JenniferH 9. <a href="#simon9"> "That sure as HELL better ve been Simon" </a>... Carrie 8. <a href="#simon8">"The Why of Holding Back on That Three-Word Phrase"</a> ... EJSimon 7. <a href="#simon7">"Simon Frasier: Man of Honor"</a> ... JenniferH. 6. <a href="#simon6">"Thoughts about the Mind and the Psyche"</a> ... CarrieGL 5. <a href="#simon5">"Now We're Getting to the Psyche! Fun!"</a> ... JenniferH. 4. <a href="#simon4">"And Some More Simon Thoughts"</a> ... Irlandesa 3. <a href="#simon3">"More Simon Thoughts"</a> ... EJSimon 2. <a href="#simon2">"We Are Now Entering the Mind of Simon Fraser"</a> ... JenniferH. 1. <a href="#simon1">"Anyone Else Want to Drop-kick SIMON Across Oakdale?"</a> ... JenniferH. <hr> <center><a href="words.html#essays">Essays Index</a> | <a href="words.html#fanfic">Fan Fiction</a> | <a href="r&r.html">Reviews and Rants</a> | <a href="humor.html">Humor</a> | <a href="words.html">Words Inspired by Katie & Simon</a> <hr></center> <a name="simon12"> <center>"Why I Think this isn't Simon" By Kim -- posted on <a href="http://pub101.ezboard.com/botherbeautifulthings">Other Beautiful Things</a> Message Board</a></center></center> I am going to add a couple of my own observations to what Kavi said about this not being the real Simon. I noticed on Friday that Simon was wearing a different watch then the one he always wears. He also did not have his wedding ring on which I know he would never take off no matter what. He has been wearing that ring during the whole "I will never love you" scenes that we watched as he was falling in love with his wife. He would have been more apt to take his wedding ring off during that time then now. Simon would have handled going to Avanya much differently then what we have seen the last couple of days. I think he would have acted like the Simon that Katie and we all know and love. I don't think he would have gone in there acting like a completely different person. For instance, his mannerisms and the accent was completely off. I think what cinched it for me was Monday's episode when he saw Katie and he acted like he wasn't sure this was his wife. He said something like "uh, Katie" like he was hoping this was Simon's wife. Plus, Simon would have been mad at her for coming to Avanya when he asked her to stay home so she would be safe. He knew if she was there with him, he would be more anxious and might make mistakes along the way that could cost him and Katie dearly. He said it was a terrific surprise that she was there and he didn't seem at all upset that her and Lucinda showed up in Avanya. We all know Simon would be mad that she just showed up. This goes back to when she showed up in Malta and he was mad at her for doing that. I know he would have reacted the same way, even more so, because they are in love now and finally together. I believe this is an imposter because he comes across as someone who doesn't care much for how he treats women. I felt he treated Katie the same way that he treated that other woman. Simon would have treated Katie will all the love and respect that he has for her as soon as he knew she was in Avanya. That didn't happen and that is another reason why I think this man is an imposter. These are a few of my reasons for why I think this is an imposter. One thing I can say is that Paul seems to be having fun with this story. He gets to act completely different from how we have seen him the last couple of years. Kim <hr> <center> <a href="#simon11">Previous Essay</a> | <a href="simon.html">Simon Essays</a> | <a href="katie.html">Katie Essays</a> | <a href="episodes.html">Episode Essays</a> | <a href="arcs.html">Storyline Arc Essays</a></center> <hr> <a name="simon11"> <center>"The Evidence --AKA: Why I think this isn't Katie's Simon" By Kavi -- posted on <a href="http://pub101.ezboard.com/botherbeautifulthings">Other Beautiful Things</a> Message Board</a></center></center> I honestly think that the Simon we saw on Monday was a fake. For various reasons he comes off to me as a way off center kind of a Simon. The accent...is different. I can't put my finger on it, but I spend a lot of time listening to the show (it's always playing, but I'm not always looking at the TV) and there's something not quite regular about the way Simon is speaking lately. Too exaggerated in some places, wavering and faint in others. Something's not kosher there. The black bracelet, or more accurately, the absence of the black bracelet is a little detail that speaks volumes. Simon is never without that thing. Ever. Now suddenly it's not there. Granted if Simon is playing a role that involves wearing all that gaudy gold jewelry, then the bracelet would seem grossly out of place. But I think it's strange that after almost two and a half years, Simon is conspicuously lacking a very familiar accessory. The way Simon was with the waitress. Not that he was too familiar or flirty but the fact that he was kind a chauvinistic pig. Nothing jumped out at me as really horrible...at first. I could live with the butt slapping. But when he put the money down the front of that girl's blouse...that's what told me that he could not be Simon...he wouldn't do that IMO, no matter what the part he was playing. It was way to gross and jerkish. That's not the Simon we know. He doesn't treat women that way. The mannerisms, namely the sleazy card sharp nose swipe Simon did right after he stepped up to speak to Katie and Lucinda. It may seem like a small thing, but it really struck me. Paul is a superb actor, methodic, a student of the art of acting. If he was called to create an imposter of his own character, I think that the mannerisms would be one of the things he would work on. Stage business and physical bearing are two of the first things an actor works on when he or she assumes a new role. Now, let's face it, our Simon, classy, wonderful good guy Simon, would not do something so greasy Vegas gambler-like...it's just not him. Even if he was there putting on an act he would not acquire new subtle quirks such as that. Simon is waaaay too goal oriented...he wouldn't really have the patience to lay that type of subtle ground work. Whenever he conned anyone, it was all about the words he used (think Ruby at Yo's). But an imposter, especially if he's a two-bit con, wouldn't think to try and stifle his own mannerisms. It just wouldn't occur to him. I know, I probably sound like I'm obsessing, but I found the action very telling. Now all this being said, I'm not a fan of Doppelganger storylines (this guys is NOT Simon's twin) Frankly I'm disappointed in Hogan if this is the way he plans to play it. I wanted that to be the real Simon, regardless of the way he was acting with those women. I wanted Hogan to have some brilliant explanation. Monday's show makes me think it just isn't going to go that way. I'm not going to stop watching, nor am I going to not enjoy the summer storyline if it is entertaining, which I thought Monday's show was. Frankly if anyone can make a double story entertaining it's Hogan, I'm sure. I'm going to try and give him the benifit of the doubt here. Where is Simon, and why is there a double, when none of the "bad guys" whoever they may be, could have known for sure that Simon would get involved? I don't know. I'm going with a gut feeling on this. Kavi -- <a href="#simon12"> Read Kim's Response</a> <hr> <center> <a href="#simon12">Next Essay</a> | <a href="#simon10">Previous Essay</a> | <a href="simon.html">Simon Essays</a> | <a href="katie.html">Katie Essays</a> | <a href="episodes.html">Episode Essays</a> | <a href="arcs.html">Storyline Arc Essays</a></center> <hr> <a name="simon10"> <center>"More Thoughts on How Simon Has Been Acting" By JenniferH. -- posted on <a href="http://pub101.ezboard.com/botherbeautifulthings">Other Beautiful Things</a> Message Board</a></center></center> You know, I didn't post about this very topic because basically I would have been a ranting queen bitca rivaled by only my earlier ranting queen bitca posts. Let's just suffice it to say that I am so with you on every level. That had better be a "FauxSimon" and not the real thing or JBE won't even be resurrected, I'll come up with a new, way more insulting nickname. He can drink, he can smoke, he can cuss and gamble, hell, he can shoot every citizen in Avanya while 'undercover,' but the Simon that I love and adore who loves and adores his WIFE would NOT under any circumstances let another woman sit on his lap, kiss him (and he kiss her), nuzzle her, touch her, slap her ass, etc. Period. He simply would not and still be the Simon that I (and Katie) know so well. To play whatever this undercover role would have to be if that is the real Simon, if a hoochie mama came around, undercover, he could just rudely ignore her, send her away as having to deal with more important things. Even undercover, REAL Simon would have no reason to fondle hoochie mama. And frankly, I can't believe that any KnS fan is NOT bothered by the idea that Katie's husband, the man who has claimed to worship and adore her would so casually and comfortably play around with another woman like that, undercover or not. I am desperately grasping onto that "Simon" in quotes, and the "FauxSimon" as proof that that man simply is not the real Simon, because it if was, I'd want Katie to leave his ass in a heartbeat. Again, it BETTER be a fake Simon and not the real thing. Evil twin? Works for me. I don't care, just don't make THAT man Simon. It just can't be him ... in fact, A-HA!, that man was not wearing that black cloth bracelet thingie that Simon always wears. Aha! Not Simon, not Simon, not Simon! With that said, since I'm going under the assumption that it simply has to be not Simon, then let me say that Paul Leyden is indeed doing a kickass job! Just the tonal inflections were top-notch, just a tad nasally, words crisper, cut out quick, his body language and attitude were different also. He so rocked ... provided, that was NOT Simon. (And if Not Simon, I can't wait to see RealSimon opposite NotSimon -- curious to see how Mr. Leyden handles that one.) JenniferH. <hr> <center> <a href="#simon11">Next Essay</a> | <a href="#simon9">Previous Essay</a> | <a href="simon.html">Simon Essays</a> | <a href="katie.html">Katie Essays</a> | <a href="episodes.html">Episode Essays</a> | <a href="arcs.html">Storyline Arc Essays</a></center> <hr> <a name="simon9"> <center>""That sure as HELL better ve been Simon" By Carrie -- posted on <a href="http://pub101.ezboard.com/botherbeautifulthings">Other Beautiful Things</a> Message Board</a></center></center> FauxSimon, that is. Because if it was realSimon, Hogan Sheffer is SO on my shit list. Simon can be undercover, smoke, drink, play cards, dress badly, whatever& THAT is fine with me. What s not okay with me is that chick. HELLO! It is NOT okay to kiss little miss [insert really insulting nickname here that I just couldn t bring myself to say on the board.] I don t CARE if he s undercover or not, that IS cheating. And frankly, it really, really bugs me. If that s the real Simon, and not a twin/double of some sort or even a split personality, Katie needs to leave his butt, like, yesterday. That said, I do think (hope?) this is some sort of nutty twin story. Rose is off the canvas and therefore we need another set of twins? I dunno. And assuming it IS a dual role, I think Mr. Leyden did an absolutely kickass job yesterday. fS was enough like Simon to be believable as him, yet different enough that we buy that it may NOT have been him. His speaking patterns, mannerisms, etc, were not like those of Simon Frasier, so yes, I ll totally buy that it s a different character. I m definitely in wait and see mode, because I AM hopeful that that wasn t realSimon. But man, if it was& Carrie -- <a href="#simon10"> Read JenniferH's Response <hr> <center> <a href="#simon8">Previous Essay</a> | <a href="simon.html">Simon Essays</a> | <a href="katie.html">Katie Essays</a> | <a href="episodes.html">Episode Essays</a> | <a href="arcs.html">Storyline Arc Essays</a></center> <a name="simon8"> <center>"The Why of Holding Back on That Three-Word Phrase" By EJSimon -- posted on <a href="http://pub101.ezboard.com/botherbeautifulthings">Other Beautiful Things</a> Message Board</a></center></center> Well, as frustrating as it is to see Simon hold back saying that three word phrase that Katie and we all at this board would love to hear, in a way, I think it's great that he hasn't yet. One reason is that 'I love you' is one of the most overstated phrases just like I'm sorry. Another, if he's going to say it to Katie, it should be natural and not in response to an ultimatum that she's giving. I'd rather hear him say it when he's just being with Katie at home in bed instead of a response to keep her in town. The problem is that Simon has taken her for granted for so long and not taken her feelings into consideration, that Katie coming home by herself gave her perspective outside the situation to see why is she jumping hoops to please someone who is more passive rather than active in his feelings for her. Simon is also used to being able to have women wrapped around his finger. Katie, in the past has told him she's a sure thing so there's a good chance in his mind that there isn't anything he really has to worry about. On the plane, he was miffed that Katie may not give him the time of day, but I don't think he realized how deeply his actions on the plane ride back from Malta, no matter how well intended, hurt her. A girl can only take so much when it comes to love. Simon's actions towards Katie in my opinion, are a direct result of how he had to recover from what Lily did to him. Lily shattered the illusion he had of love with her selfish needs. Simon was wading through a world of cynicism and Katie gave him her positive energy to help show him that one can be happy after heartbreak. Her actions towards him were unconditional and she let him vent when needed and didn't take his words to heart. Katie has created a new reality of love that I think Simon has a hard time grasping. When Simon was involved with Lily, Simon was the one who was looking for any kernel of hope that Lily would say that she loved him. He didn't care if he were deported because he wasn't sure if she felt the same way about him as he did her. Then, on their "date" she did say "How can you leave when I love you so much?" She didn't say it independently but as a compound statement. To me, Katie's leaving with Bruno mirrors when Simon had the INS after him and his staying in Oakdale was up in the air. Since Simon knows what it is to be in Katie's shoes, he's afraid to take that giant step Katie needs and wants to hear. Instead, he's taking baby steps, for instance when he said that she knows what he has to say, the thing she always wants him to say. Simon is still wanting to run his heart wants to run towards Katie, but his head is having trouble in directing him the way. Katie knows this and understands it, but she's gotten to the point where she deserves to be treated more than just an afterthought and now Simon is finally beginning to realize it. This was such a tissue-grabbing show. Nothing is harder than seeing two people who you know are so right for each other go in separate directions. One good thing about Katie and Bruno is that we did not see their date on-screen. Katie may be attracted to Bruno, but he's just filling in a void that she really wants filled by Simon. For that I wish Katie were more patient but then again, she had the patience of a saint when Simon would do whatever to be around Lily. Katie and Simon did not get together in a conventional fashion, so I guess when Simon finally tells her he loves her, it won't be in a conventional manner either. This is part of what makes them so special together. No matter how much fun Katie has with Bruno in St. Martin, she'll still think of Simon being in Oakdale without her. And no matter how hard Simon tries to convince himself that he's not in love with Katie, he will always feel a emptiness inside until his Kathryn comes back. I can't wait to see how Simon copes with Katie being gone and seeing Katie stroll back into town. I hope it comes soon. EJSimon <hr> <center> <a href="#simon7">Previous Essay</a> | <a href="simon.html">Simon Essays</a> | <a href="katie.html">Katie Essays</a> | <a href="episodes.html">Episode Essays</a> | <a href="arcs.html">Storyline Arc Essays</a></center> <hr> <a name="simon7"> <center>"Simon Frasier: Man of Honor" By JenniferH. -- posted on <a href="http://pub101.ezboard.com/botherbeautifulthings">Other Beautiful Things</a> Message Board</a></center></center> I think it's safe to say that no one has been harder on Simon Frasier in the last two weeks than I. And after much thinking today, I realize that I feel rather bad about that -- after all he is the 'S' in KnS and I've been doing nothing but doggin' the poor guy for days while forgiving Katie when she deserves about as much censure as I've been giving him. So, with that said, I'm here now to say that I do love Simon (and why), plus do some delving into his character. And I'm going to do my damndest to refrain from dwelling on the myriad physical attributes that are definitely a part of my affection for the character. I know that I have accused him of being a JBE -- and he has indeed lived up to that name at times -- but for the most part, he really has treated Katie better than anyone else on the planet. He took her in after Craig threw her out and this was despite the fact that he had reunited with Lily, and he knew that Lily didn't like her. Plus, he barely knew Katie at that point. He also forgave her for the false pregnancy and that was a pretty durn big deal ... and he forgave her. He did go after her when he found out she was on the island -- even if it did take him a bit too long, he still did it. And he does care about her obviously. So, he does treat Katie better than anyone else -- gotta give him points for that. In addition, I think that I've got to look at the last couple of weeks, nay months, in terms of a post I wrote a while back. Simply put, Simon admitting that he actually, truly cares about Katie, wants her -- not just in bed, but in his life, is a huge step. And that is because he is afraid of the force of nature that is Katie and he is afraid to get hurt. Hogan said it himself: "Simon has recognized his feelings for Katie. Of course, he s scared to death by them because she s a nut! And I love her dearly, but she is! The girl is, in the nicest way possible, certifiable at times ... of course, it's one of the things I love about her. AND it's one of the things that Simon loves about her, but he's afraid too -- he simply has no clue what's gonna happen with her. Plus, there's that other biggie in terms of the "fear factor" -- Lily hurt him badly. He may have forgiven and forgotten that, but she did and now Katie -- who he is finally beginning to admit some feelings for -- seems like she's going down that same path. So, yeah, I can understand him denying any feelings, pulling back from whatever he may have been ready to spill ... here she is with someone else, choosing someone else over him, just like Lily did. It justifies the fear that he's gonna get his heart stomped on again. He's made it clear in the past that he doesn't want to get hurt again. He said this to Katie back in early April: "... looking back, regretting my mistakes, it's just -- it's useless. Keep moving, that's my motto. Never be a target. I forgot that when I was with Lily, and I'm not gonna forget it again." So, thinking in all of this, I realize that I can see Simon's point of view, I can justify his actions -- well some of them. I'm still not happy about how he puts Lily first (his telling Lucinda that he would help with Lily and Luke made it clear that no matter the circumstance, were Lily to come calling he would drop everything to help her), friendship is one thing -- but he doesn't treat her like a friend and it's certainly understandable why Katie feels as she does about his 'relationship' with Lily. But, I do believe that HE believes he is just being a friend, only doing what a friend would do. Perhaps, somewhere down the road we will see him confronted with the fact that he hasn't let go completely and then he will ... finally. As much as I would like to believe that he is over Lily 100%, I don't -- too many things have been dropped to show that, unfortunately, he is not. But, still defending Simon here, again, I think that he does believe he is completely over her. It is mostly friendship, he did stay in Malta because he's a man of honor as Katie stated, but there is a little tiny sliver of him that just wants to be Lily's hero. It's something that I just hoped is dealt with one of these days and in such a way to finally put it to rest. And it is because of those still-there feelings for Lily that I've said often lately that I want him to suffer for all of the months that Katie has suffered while he mooned and moaned over Lily. I think I'm gonna get my wish. I already am. He was stabbed, he feels betrayed by his wife and she's gonna leave him. I'm not sure what the circumstances are -- the new Soap Opera Weekly/Update articles say one thing, Hogan Sheffer's comments in Soap Opera Digest said something else -- but he is definitely going to be suffering. And a part of me still does want him to, but I've had enough time to get over my upset with him to be peeved with Mrs. Frasier too and think that what she is doing now with Bruno can not be fully justified, so I do feel sorry for the guy now. Katie has grown up a lot in the last couple of months -- but she is still immature (and in fact that may be why we specifically heard Simon using that term -- which he never has before I believe -- to describe her) and her actions the last couple of days prove that. She does love Simon, but she is there willfully enjoying the attention from a good-looking guy, dancing with him, flirting with him, kissing him. But, she does love Simon, so she IS leading this guy on. True, she's never had the attention before, but that doesn't justify her actions. She is playing games, not just with Simon, but with Bruno as well and she is most likely going to get hurt as well. I say often that Katie has given so much the last year, but until April/May, she really had nothing to go on in terms of expecting anything from Simon. It wasn't until the island rescue really that she had something solid on which to rest her hopes, so the fact that she is jumping into this little game of hers (and it is a game) only a bit after Simon finally begins to turn is, again, showing that immaturity. If Simon needs to let go of fear, Katie still needs to grow up. As for me -- I'm at a somewhat happier place in my KnS viewing. I can justify what I'm seeing on-screen for both of these characters that I love -- something that I haven't allowed myself to do lately in terms of Simon. I really (really) want this Lily thing over and I let that cloud my viewing of the character. However, in sitting back and really thinking about all that has happened, there is just as much justification and motivation on his part as there is for Katie. Now, I'm not saying that I'm entirely happy with how this has played out -- the execution of motivation for both Katie and Simon hasn't been the best this show has ever done, but I can see it from both parties now. I can see his fear of the headtrip that is Katie and the hurt that he doesn't want to re-experience, and I can see her need for attention and the immaturity that is still very much there. And that fear and that immaturity is a part of the reason I love them -- they are flawed, screwed-up, far from bland, cookie cutter Ken and Barbie dolls. They're real in their own way -- more real than most characters on daytime and so I appreciate their mistakes as much as their victories. After all, the lessons learned from those mistakes as they grow together to become better people together will only make those victories sweeter. Hah! And I didn't talk about that beautiful face, piercing green eyes, fabulous body or drool-worthy accent once! <hr> <center> <a href="#simon8">Next Essay</a> | <a href="#simon6">Previous Essay</a> | <a href="simon.html">Simon Essays</a> | <a href="katie.html">Katie Essays</a> | <a href="episodes.html">Episode Essays</a> | <a href="arcs.html">Storyline Arc Essays</a></center> <hr> <a name="simon6"> <center>"Thoughts about the Mind and the Psyche!" By CarrieGL -- posted on <a href="http://pub101.ezboard.com/botherbeautifulthings">Other Beautiful Things</a> Message Board</a></center></center> Kendra wrote: I don't think he knows what to make of Katie. Is she a one night stand? Yes, originally she was. Is she a good buddy? Yes, they definitely have shared a lot together. Is she unpredictible? Yes, I think Simon likes to have some semblance of control and Katie doesn't give him that. Is she a girl/woman with a hopeless crush on him and therefore he must pity her? Yep, her feelings came quickly and seemingly out of nowhere to him. JenniferH. wrote: Very good points. I think that when Paul Leyden signed on for this gig he had no clue that after the first 8 months of playing conman/brooding anti-hero/poster boy for Australian gorgeousness on daytime that he would spend so much of his onscreen time playing the 'straight man.' But that is exactly what he winds up doing in a lot of scenes with Terri Conn (and I think it's a testament to the fact that the man can act that he still retains such a strong presence ... okay, and his devastating looks help). And the reason he plays the straight man so much is because of the fact that he is constantly in a state of "what?!" when it comes to Katie. He honestly does not know what to make of her. I think Simon's truest line of dialogue was during scenes in April when Katie was first confronting him about Ruby. She made a comment and Simon looked confused, and she said "you know what I mean" and he replied in all sincerity, "not even half the time." And he meant it -- and still does. More than half the time, he's mind-boggled by the way that "tangled head" of hers works. And you touched upon this later, with Katie, he really has no control. None whatsoever. In any facet. I think that's been beautifully shown. I think if we took and reversed the situation we had during the almost-consummation scenes, if (assuming Simon had admitted he loved Katie) Katie asked Simon why he loved her, he wouldn't know either. In fact that may be WHY he loves her-even if he doesn't realize it-because she's such a change from all of the other women he's ever married/'loved.' She's an original, that Katie. Kendra wrote: I think what troubles him is 'Can she be all that and still be the love of his life?' I don't think Simon quite realizes that the answer to that is "yes" as well. JenniferH. wrote: Yup. Katie does not fit into any one category. He can't pigeonhole her. And yet, I do believe that he can move onto that phase simply by virture of how his vision of her has changed. When she first said she loved him, he told her straight out that she was wrong, that she had no clue what love was, etc., etc., etc. Now, he doesn't question that she loves him, he accepts that she does ... he doesn't understand it, but he accepts it completely now. So if he could shift his perception of her feelings -- which is actually pretty monumental considering that how Katie loved him didn't change, it just grew stronger -- I don't see why he won't be able to change his perception of his feelings. Oh there's no question in my mind that he'll be able to change his perception of her. I mean, where else is the story to go? :) But yeah, Jenn, good point. Kendra wrote: I think Simon had preconceived ideas of what love was like. He was a brooder. He was a loner. It makes a lot of sense that his somewhat 'forbidden' love would match what he thought was real love. JenniferH. wrote: This is so good and so true. For Simon, he probably did envision some great love like the story of "Beloved" -- all angst, and great drama and, as you write 'against all odds' type of love. Balloon fights, crazy antics, cross-dressing goons and rabbits named after candy bars certainly never entered his mind as part and parcel of a Great And True Love. Kendra wrote: His relationship with Lily happened to meet all of those ideas. It was full of tons of passion, an "against all odds" feel to it that mimicked his "against all odds" style of life. JenniferH. wrote: Yup, all drama and heavy emotions. Much angst, highs and lows, no inbetweens, fighting against the odds. Yup, he apparently has had a hard life, he would expect love -- real love -- to be just as, if not more, hard. He thought he'd be half of Manny. Kidding! But again, ladies, makes plenty of sense. And Jenn, LOVE your line, " Balloon fights, crazy antics, cross-dressing goons and rabbits named after candy bars certainly never entered his mind as part and parcel of a Great And True Love. " ROTFL! Kendra wrote: Sorry, that's a jumbled mess, but here's the reason Simon is still tied to Lily. She gives him something Katie inherently can't, the feeling of being needed. Sure Katie says she needs him. I honestly believe she DOES need him, but not in the grandiose ways that Lily needs him. JenniferH. wrote: Absolutely. Lily needs the obvious hero to come and rescue her. That is the role that Holden fills perfectly. Sorry, I like Holden, but it's true -- Lucinda put it best, "True blue Holden." He IS her knight in shining armor. Simon is NOT a knight in shining armor, not as the man he truly is, all aspects of him. His armor is tarnished and he cons and schemes and deviates whatever he has to in order to get the prize. That is something that Katie can appreciate and frankly root for, but for Lily, even if she was happy with the end result, she would always be ashamed and upset about the means. And yet, the fact that Lily (and Rose and Lucinda) see him as that perfect hero for even a moment (or only as a replacement for Holden -- which he clearly is in this instance) just massages that ego for a man like Simon Frasier who has rarely been called a hero. And I think there may have even been a hint in the scenes on last Tuesday prior to Rose showing up and interrupting the marriage consummation. In their very first scene while talking about Henry, Katie says that Henry is not all bad, Simon responds: Simon: Henry is trouble. Katie: Yeah, well, some may say the same about you. Simon: Yeah, well, some people may be right. And then by the end of that episode we have Simon on his way to rushing off and doing the exact opposite. And I have enough faith in Hogan Sheffer to think that it may have even been planned that way. Amazing that Sheffer makes us trust writers again, eh? Without a doubt, absolutely, Katie needs him. It's not quite in the "if we're not together I'm gonna die" type 'need' that I'd become accostomed to, but nonetheless, she needs him. Kendra wrote: Katie needs him for the small things. She needs him for affection, conversation, a partner. Lily needs him to be the pillar of strength and give her both emotional and physical support. Katie, in many ways, doesn't need him as obviously in this way. She's too d*mn self sufficient. I love that about her, but I don't think Simon understands how she needs him because again, his ideas of need are the obvious ones. JenniferH. wrote: And for Simon, I think that Katie's needs should and eventually will be enough. I mean, Lily just needs him to do the surface "hero" stuff. Katie needs him to fill that hole in her life and her heart -- it's a cliche now, but for Katie I think it's completely true. Simon completes her. Lily could never, ever say that about any man -- even Holden, let alone Simon. Sigh. Cliché, but true. I absolutely LOVE the fact that she really doesn't need him to do anything for her-save the occasional desert island rescue-except to be around, and be him. And for that matter, he doesn't need anything from her, except for her to be her. And isn't that love? Kendra wrote: How could Lily's gratitude be any more ego boosting that Katie's absolute adoration? JenniferH. wrote: That's a damn good question and frankly I don't see how he can find Lily's gratitude so gratifying, but not Katie's adoration. Still, thinking for a moment, on the other hand, I've long held that he IS gratified by Katie's adoration. I had noticed this since I began watching in late, late April, and was surprised to find that this trend went all the way back to the wedding. Simon finds himself smiling ALL THE TIME because of Katie, little things she does and says. Even when he is aggravated beyond belief, when life is chaotic and a mess, she still makes him smile. Perfect example: Their wedding, which sadly (for KnS fans) played all about Lily 'woe-is-me, the guy I love this week is marrying that terrible, terrible Katie Peretti' Snyder and so both Simon and Lily were miserably depressed during the whole thing. However, during the ceremony which Katie and Simon were rushing through like gangbusters, the judge asked about the rings and Simon looked blank, while Katie automatically said, "I have them" and began digging through her purse. Simon glanced over at her and smiled and you could just read that he was thinking, 'that's Katie -- she's always prepared.' It was a really, really sweet little moment, that smile and one that plays out constantly. And it's been playing more and more as Simon falls more and more for her and those feelings he has for her, including his gratifcation at her adoration (didn't think I'd get back to that didja?) just keep growing more and more. I have a theory on that? I think that the reason Lily's gratitude means more than Katie's adoration is because it's harder won. Katie-she just loves him. For no particular reason, but just cuz he's him. He has no competition, he doesn't have to do anything, she doesn't threaten to take it away-he can almost take it for granted (ok, he !OES take it for granted) at this point. With Lily, though& with Lily he has to compete with Holden. With Lily, she wants Simon, she doesn't, she needs this from Simon, she wants him under this condition& there's nothing unconditional about it, whereas unconditional defines Katie's love. And so-not that it's right, it's not, but it's understandable-Simon's going to value what he's had to work for. Kendra wrote: I STILL think he has a tough time understanding HOW and WHY Katie feels the way she does about him. What did he do? Where did it come from? Is it real? JenniferH. wrote: I agree -- and one of these days, Katie is gonna have to sit down and actually attempt to answer that question for him and not just brush it aside as she did on Tuesday. Little sidenote into Katie's pysche: but that's Katie. It's very clear that she is not used to anyone asking her opinion, or the why of her opinions and thoughts and feelings. There was a wonderful episode (after the balloon episode) where Katie was asking him about his past and he interrupted and asked if anyone had ever asked her about her, just wanting to listen to the sound of her voice speaking because they loved hearing it. And she replied "no." Simple as that. So, for her to sit down and just talk about herself is probably as alien to her as Simon believing that someone could love him so completely even knowing (and being the recipient in some ways) of the worst in him. She really does need to answer it. I think that'd make him a lot more open-how can he put faith in something that he doesn't understand? She needs to chunk it up for him, put it in little pieces. I want them to have a discussion where she says something-something little, teeny, tiny, like, "I love the way you tie your shoelaces" (ok, bad example, but it's just an example!)-that he thinks back on, the next time he does that action, and smiles. Because he's thinking of her, and because he's thinking of how she loves him. Kendra wrote: That last question is probably what scares him the most. He's scared of getting sucked into what he may perceive as Katie's fantasy, which drastically goes against his own view of the world, only to have her realize that her feelings were just part of a fantasy and have her move on. Then he'd be left with not only another broken heart, but his new dreams shattered as well. JenniferH. wrote: Absolutely, thus his probing about what she sees in him pre-coitus (not that we got coitus -- arrrggh, Rose!!) last week. He does believe that she loves him, but he needs to understand why before he can fully commit for the fear that has got to be there, no matter how miniscule it is now, that he is just part of a fantasy, just another man she wanted because she couldn't have. Oh absolutely. Because Katie DOES have that pattern-with Eddie, with Holden-of wanting men because she couldn't have them (remind anyone of Scarlett O'Hara?) it really is natural for Simon to have those (albeit subconscious) fears. Why put your heart on the line when it's only going to get broken! Ooh, ooh-thinking back, I think Rose kind of said as much in that Tuesday episode. She said something about him being afraid of wearing his heart on his sleeve again-and he looked at Katie. Point to ponder. <hr> <center> <a href="#simon7">Next Essay</a> | <a href="#simon5">Previous Essay</a> | <a href="simon.html">Simon Essays</a> | <a href="katie.html">Katie Essays</a> | <a href="episodes.html">Episode Essays</a> | <a href="arcs.html">Storyline Arc Essays</a></center> <hr> <a name="simon5"> <center>"Now We're Getting to the Psyche! Fun!" By JenniferH. -- posted on <a href="http://pub101.ezboard.com/botherbeautifulthings">Other Beautiful Things</a> Message Board</a></center></center> Kendra wrote: I don't think he knows what to make of Katie. Is she a one night stand? Yes, originally she was. Is she a good buddy? Yes, they definitely have shared a lot together. Is she unpredictible? Yes, I think Simon likes to have some semblance of control and Katie doesn't give him that. Is she a girl/woman with a hopeless crush on him and therefore he must pity her? Yep, her feelings came quickly and seemingly out of nowhere to him. Very good points. I think that when Paul Leyden signed on for this gig he had no clue that after the first 8 months of playing conman/brooding anti-hero/poster boy for Australian gorgeousness on daytime that he would spend so much of his onscreen time playing the 'straight man.' But that is exactly what he winds up doing in a lot of scenes with Terri Conn (and I think it's a testament to the fact that the man can act that he still retains such a strong presence ... okay, and his devastating looks help). And the reason he plays the straight man so much is because of the fact that he is constantly in a state of "what?!" when it comes to Katie. He honestly does not know what to make of her. I think Simon's truest line of dialogue was during scenes in April when Katie was first confronting him about Ruby. She made a comment and Simon looked confused, and she said "you know what I mean" and he replied in all sincerity, "not even half the time." And he meant it -- and still does. More than half the time, he's mind-boggled by the way that "tangled head" of hers works. And you touched upon this later, with Katie, he really has no control. None whatsoever. In any facet. Kendra wrote: I think what troubles him is 'Can she be all that and still be the love of his life?' I don't think Simon quite realizes that the answer to that is "yes" as well. Yup. Katie does not fit into any one category. He can't pigeonhole her. And yet, I do believe that he can move onto that phase simply by virture of how his vision of her has changed. When she first said she loved him, he told her straight out that she was wrong, that she had no clue what love was, etc., etc., etc. Now, he doesn't question that she loves him, he accepts that she does ... he doesn't understand it, but he accepts it completely now. So if he could shift his perception of her feelings -- which is actually pretty monumental considering that how Katie loved him didn't change, it just grew stronger -- I don't see why he won't be able to change his perception of his feelings. Kendra wrote: I think Simon had preconceived ideas of what love was like. He was a brooder. He was a loner. It makes a lot of sense that his somewhat 'forbidden' love would match what he thought was real love. This is so good and so true. For Simon, he probably did envision some great love like the story of "Beloved" -- all angst, and great drama and, as you write 'against all odds' type of love. Balloon fights, crazy antics, cross-dressing goons and rabbits named after candy bars certainly never entered his mind as part and parcel of a Great And True Love. Kendra wrote: His relationship with Lily happened to meet all of those ideas. It was full of tons of passion, an "against all odds" feel to it that mimicked his "against all odds" style of life. Yup, all drama and heavy emotions. Much angst, highs and lows, no inbetweens, fighting against the odds. Yup, he apparently has had a hard life, he would expect love -- real love -- to be just as, if not more, hard. Kendra wrote: I think Simon is realizing that she wasn't the one. When he told her his heart would always be hers...well the effects are starting to wear off and looking back he probably sees that it wasn't the case. And back to what I wrote, I really don't think he's ready to let go of that yet because it means that he lied about his 'love' for her. He doesn't realize that just because Lily isn't his one true love, doesn't mean that he was wrong or was lying about loving her at all. In many ways, Simon in love is much like Katie ... he goes all the way, and now that he is seeing in some part of him that Lily really wasn't the one to go all the way with (hehehe, pun intended), he hasn't quite been able to grasp that he can (and should) go all the way again ... with Katie this time. Kendra wrote: I think the realization of what Simon thought was the ultimate love wasn't such love, adds another loss to Simon's psyche. Yup. Again, I agree completely. Letting go of loving Lily isn't so much about Lily as it is about his ability to love so completely. If he can't hold onto that than it means that the one "good thing" he did, he failed at. Kendra wrote: Sorry, that's a jumbled mess, but here's the reason Simon is still tied to Lily. She gives him something Katie inherently can't, the feeling of being needed. Sure Katie says she needs him. I honestly believe she DOES need him, but not in the grandiose ways that Lily needs him. Absolutely. Lily needs the obvious hero to come and rescue her. That is the role that Holden fills perfectly. Sorry, I like Holden, but it's true -- Lucinda put it best, "True blue Holden." He IS her knight in shining armor. Simon is NOT a knight in shining armor, not as the man he truly is, all aspects of him. His armor is tarnished and he cons and schemes and deviates whatever he has to in order to get the prize. That is something that Katie can appreciate and frankly root for, but for Lily, even if she was happy with the end result, she would always be ashamed and upset about the means. And yet, the fact that Lily (and Rose and Lucinda) see him as that perfect hero for even a moment (or only as a replacement for Holden -- which he clearly is in this instance) just massages that ego for a man like Simon Frasier who has rarely been called a hero. And I think there may have even been a hint in the scenes on last Tuesday prior to Rose showing up and interrupting the marriage consummation. In their very first scene while talking about Henry, Katie says that Henry is not all bad, Simon responds: Simon: Henry is trouble. Katie: Yeah, well, some may say the same about you. Simon: Yeah, well, some people may be right. And then by the end of that episode we have Simon on his way to rushing off and doing the exact opposite. And I have enough faith in Hogan Sheffer to think that it may have even been planned that way. Kendra wrote: Katie needs him for the small things. She needs him for affection, conversation, a partner. Lily needs him to be the pillar of strength and give her both emotional and physical support. Katie, in many ways, doesn't need him as obviously in this way. She's too d*mn self sufficient. I love that about her, but I don't think Simon understands how she needs him because again, his ideas of need are the obvious ones. And for Simon, I think that Katie's needs should and eventually will be enough. I mean, Lily just needs him to do the surface "hero" stuff. Katie needs him to fill that hole in her life and her heart -- it's a cliche now, but for Katie I think it's completely true. Simon completes her. Lily could never, ever say that about any man -- even Holden, let alone Simon. Kendra wrote: Guys like to play hero. Simon likes to play hero. I don't think he wants the "prize" of Lily, but he still wants her approval because her gratitude will feed his ego. Yup and again, it's not just Lily. I think Simon got off on the fact that Rose and the big, bad Walsh were right alongside Lily feeding his ego with "you're the only man for the job! You're the best! Go Simon! Go!" Kendra wrote: How could Lily's gratitude be any more ego boosting that Katie's absolute adoration? That's a damn good question and frankly I don't see how he can find Lily's gratitude so gratifying, but not Katie's adoration. Still, thinking for a moment, on the other hand, I've long held that he IS gratified by Katie's adoration. I had noticed this since I began watching in late, late April, and was surprised to find that this trend went all the way back to the wedding. Simon finds himself smiling ALL THE TIME because of Katie, little things she does and says. Even when he is aggravated beyond belief, when life is chaotic and a mess, she still makes him smile. Perfect example: Their wedding, which sadly (for KnS fans) played all about Lily 'woe-is-me, the guy I love this week is marrying that terrible, terrible Katie Peretti' Snyder and so both Simon and Lily were miserably depressed during the whole thing. However, during the ceremony which Katie and Simon were rushing through like gangbusters, the judge asked about the rings and Simon looked blank, while Katie automatically said, "I have them" and began digging through her purse. Simon glanced over at her and smiled and you could just read that he was thinking, 'that's Katie -- she's always prepared.' It was a really, really sweet little moment, that smile and one that plays out constantly. And it's been playing more and more as Simon falls more and more for her and those feelings he has for her, including his gratifcation at her adoration (didn't think I'd get back to that didja?) just keep growing more and more. Kendra wrote: I STILL think he has a tough time understanding HOW and WHY Katie feels the way she does about him. What did he do? Where did it come from? Is it real? I agree -- and one of these days, Katie is gonna have to sit down and actually attempt to answer that question for him and not just brush it aside as she did on Tuesday. Little sidenote into Katie's pysche: but that's Katie. It's very clear that she is not used to anyone asking her opinion, or the why of her opinions and thoughts and feelings. There was a wonderful episode (after the balloon episode) where Katie was asking him about his past and he interrupted and asked if anyone had ever asked her about her, just wanting to listen to the sound of her voice speaking because they loved hearing it. And she replied "no." Simple as that. So, for her to sit down and just talk about herself is probably as alien to her as Simon believing that someone could love him so completely even knowing (and being the recipient in some ways) of the worst in him. Kendra wrote: That last question is probably what scares him the most. He's scared of getting sucked into what he may perceive as Katie's fantasy, which drastically goes against his own view of the world, only to have her realize that her feelings were just part of a fantasy and have her move on. Then he'd be left with not only another broken heart, but his new dreams shattered as well. Absolutely, thus his probing about what she sees in him pre-coitus (not that we got coitus -- arrrggh, Rose!!) last week. He does believe that she loves him, but he needs to understand why before he can fully commit for the fear that has got to be there, no matter how miniscule it is now, that he is just part of a fantasy, just another man she wanted because she couldn't have. JenniferH. -- <a href="#simon6">Read CarrieGL.'s Response</a> <hr> <center> <a href="#simon6">Next Essay</a> | <a href="#simon4">Previous Essay</a> | <a href="simon.html">Simon Essays</a> | <a href="katie.html">Katie Essays</a> | <a href="episodes.html">Episode Essays</a> | <a href="arcs.html">Storyline Arc Essays</a></center> <hr> <a name="simon4"> <center>"And More Simon Thoughts By Irlandesa -- posted on <a href="http://pub101.ezboard.com/botherbeautifulthings">Other Beautiful Things</a> Message Board</a></center></center> I think there is a lot going on in Simon's subconscious and I dare say he'd be running for the hills if he ever took stock of his feelings. Simon is *gasp* a man, lol. So I think he is having some *man* reactions to events. I don't think he knows what to make of Katie. Is she a one night stand? Yes, originally she was. Is she a good buddy? Yes, they definitely have shared a lot together. Is she unpredictible? Yes, I think Simon likes to have some semblance of control and Katie doesn't give him that. Is she a girl/woman with a hopeless crush on him and therefore he must pity her? Yep, her feelings came quickly and seemingly out of nowhere to him. I think what troubles him is 'Can she be all that and still be the love of his life?' I don't think Simon quite realizes that the answer to that is "yes" as well. I think Simon had preconceived ideas of what love was like. He was a brooder. He was a loner. It makes a lot of sense that his somewhat 'forbidden' love would match what he thought was real love. His relationship with Lily happened to meet all of those ideas. It was full of tons of passion, an "against all odds" feel to it that mimicked his "against all odds" style of life. It involved needing only each other to be happy. It involved plots to run away together. I am not saying that he didn't love her, but I think he loved and his relationship with her fit a lot of ideas he had, therefore she must have been the one. I think Simon is realizing that she wasn't the one. When he told her his heart would always be hers...well the effects are starting to wear off and looking back he probably sees that it wasn't the case. He accuses Katie of having fantasies, but in many ways both he and Lily were living one. But they soon realized it wasn't just the two of them. Holden, a man Lily has loved for many many years, was still in the picture. Her two kids were forever going to be tied to him and they couldn't just cut him off. They were star-crossed lovers and Simon thought the love would last forever, but it's not. I think the realization of what Simon thought was the ultimate love wasn't such love, adds another loss to Simon's psyche. Even if he couldn't have Lily, at least he thought he knew what true love was. Now, so soon after "officially" ending it with Lily, he realizes that his feelings for Katie have grown, and have been growing perhaps prior to the "end." I'm not surprised that Simon doesn't trust the sentiment. Sorry, that's a jumbled mess, but here's the reason Simon is still tied to Lily. She gives him something Katie inherently can't, the feeling of being needed. Sure Katie says she needs him. I honestly believe she DOES need him, but not in the grandiose ways that Lily needs him. Katie needs him for the small things. She needs him for affection, conversation, a partner. Lily needs him to be the pillar of strength and give her both emotional and physical support. Katie, in many ways, doesn't need him as obviously in this way. She's too d*mn self sufficient. I love that about her, but I don't think Simon understands how she needs him because again, his ideas of need are the obvious ones. Scratch that last paragraph, Lily has ways of making Simon feel needed that diamond-finding, island goddess Katie can't. I think the more he gets to know Katie, the more he's going to realize that he is an extremely vital part of her life in ways that he never saw before. Guys like to play hero. Simon likes to play hero. I don't think he wants the "prize" of Lily, but he still wants her approval because her gratitude will feed his ego. How could Lily's gratitude be any more ego boosting that Katie's absolute adoration? I think he will see Lily's feelings as more genuine because he knows what he did to receive that sentiment, finding Luke and Holden. I STILL think he has a tough time understanding HOW and WHY Katie feels the way she does about him. What did he do? Where did it come from? Is it real? That last question is probably what scares him the most. He's scared of getting sucked into what he may perceive as Katie's fantasy, which drastically goes against his own view of the world, only to have her realize that her feelings were just part of a fantasy and have her move on. Then he'd be left with not only another broken heart, but his new dreams shattered as well. Kendra -- <a href="#simon5">Read JenniferH.'s Response</a> <hr> <center> <a href="#simon5">Next Essay</a> | <a href="#simon3">Previous Essay</a> | <a href="simon.html">Simon Essays</a> | <a href="katie.html">Katie Essays</a> | <a href="episodes.html">Episode Essays</a> | <a href="arcs.html">Storyline Arc Essays</a></center> <hr> <a name="simon3"> <center>"More Simon Thoughts" By EJSimon -- posted on <a href="http://pub101.ezboard.com/botherbeautifulthings">Other Beautiful Things</a> Message Board</a></center></center> Here are some of my thoughts on the incredible Aussie's mind, even if he does have those JBE characteristics right now. I think part of the reason he has been acting the way he has around Katie and Lily is that Lily was his first love. Some are lucky enough for their first love to hit paydirt but most find longtime love with someone else. Even though they've found someone even better suited for them than their first love, there's always the memory of what that first love was to them, even if how they view it now isn't that realistic. That's the way I see things with Simon about how he feels about both Katie and Lily. Lily planted the seed, but Katie has given him something so much more beautiful, and Simon still doesn't understand why. I think the other part of him is just too focused on this investigation. It's a big challenge to Simon and we're basically watching the characters as if they're all pieces on the chessboard, and Simon is really worried they'll become checkmate. He's a survivor first, and has to move quickly. He stayed on the island for months and never knew when they would get off. He didn't have the same faith that he'd be rescued like Katie did about him. The Malta situation is getting more and more suspicious by the minute and as a result the danger level is increasing in proximity to that. I think Katie has to rip into him about his shabby treatment of her. She has moved heaven and earth to be with him as well as look out for him, and although she made a mistake in going to Malta, her intentions were in the right place. I felt so bad for her when she said "How do you say God help us in Maltese?" She is terrified of being in jail and never getting out. It's not America where she knows the drill. The law doesn't work the same. I think just being in jail is going to give her pause to ask herself if everything she's gone through with Simon has been worth it at this point. I really think this Malta trip will be a great building block in the true love between Simon and Kathryn. We just got to hold tight and let nature run it's course. EJ -- <a href="#simon4">Read Kendra's Response</a> <hr> <center> <a href="#simon4">Next Essay</a> | <a href="#simon2">Previous Essay</a> | <a href="simon.html">Simon Essays</a> | <a href="katie.html">Katie Essays</a> | <a href="episodes.html">Episode Essays</a> | <a href="arcs.html">Storyline Arc Essays</a></center> <hr> <a name="simon2"> <center>"We Are Now Entering the Mind of Simon Frasier" By JenniferH. -- posted on <a href="http://pub101.ezboard.com/botherbeautifulthings">Other Beautiful Things</a> Message Board</a></center></center> Simon's attitude since Katie appeared in Malta has been less than how we would all like ... to put it mildly. Alas, I can see it making sense and being completely in character. This is something I've been thinking about in regards to how Simon treats Katie and how he always runs off to Lily's defense. And I truly don't think it's because of residual romantic feelings. I truly don't. Simply put, Simon admitting that he actually, truly cares about Katie, wants her -- not just in bed, but in his life, is a huge step and on some subconscious level he sees it as a betrayal of his love for Lily. Now, when I say love for Lily, I don't mean love right now, but the fact that he DID love her. She was the first person who meant something to him, and the reason -- the ONLY reason -- he married Katie was to be with Lily, to keep that love alive and he told himself, he told Katie, he told Lily over and over and over and over and over and over (and throw some more over's in there) that he would never love Katie, he would never fall in love with her, it was Lily that he loved, Lily was the only reason he was doing this, blah, blah, blah, blah. So the bottom line is that if he starts to actually admit that he is FALLING for Katie -- which he hasn't come even remotely close to admitting IMO. As amusing as his way of saying he loved her was, it was very clearly not an admission of real love or that he was in love with her, in his mind it was justified as still being in the "caring and only caring" realm. -- he then will be betraying all he said during the early months of the marriage when he and Lily were still together, thus making the love he felt for Lily less than it was. And I don't think he's ready to let that go yet, not because he still loves Lily so much, but because loving her was the best he ever was and if that turns out to be a lie, than what does that say about him? Is this a pretty stupid way of thinking? Absolutely, but I can totally see that mindset (subconsious though it may be) in him right now. But, regardless, he IS falling for Katie, judging by his actions: the way they were in Oakdale before he left (which he is probably regretting in terms of the whole 'I'm not supposed to fall in love with her' frame of mind), hiding Katie behind him when the cops came, saying he would come for her. Those were and are the real feelings he has for her slipping out against his will. Furthermore, maybe this is leading to something else: Katie FINALLY just letting him have it. I just got most of their past story and Katie actually only got truly angry at him once (and boy was it a good scene), and upset with him twice, so it doesn't happen often. However, when she does finally call him on his attitude, it's really, really good and maybe that is what this is leading up to. Yes, Katie has done some awful things, but except for the baby scam -- which as she pointed out, Simon has done and is willing to do just as desperate things in the name of love, and truth be told, he forgave her pretty quickly, and in the long/short run, it DID keep him from getting hurt worse when Lily would have inevitably left him, but I'm so digressing here -- she really has done nothing awful to Simon and has in fact helped him probably more than anyone else: Marrying him for the green card, getting Isaac to bail him out of jail, getting Lucinda off of his back, getting him into a penthouse suite, etc. So, considering all she has done for him, he certainly deserves a good tongue-lashing, subconscious upset or not. I am tired of him putting Lily first -- it's truly something he has to grow out of -- but again, it's all tied into that 'I have to hold onto my love for Lily, or Lucinda and everyone else (except Katie) was right about me and I am a terrible person' perception. Still, I really just want Simon to be laid into by Katie; I want him to feel guilty and I want him to realize just how remarkable a woman he has in Katie. And maybe, just maybe (alongside the whole pyschobabble I wrote about above) that is the point of his attitude this week -- which is simply, sadly (sigh) not out of character. JenniferH. -- Read <a href="#simon3">EJ's Response</a> <hr> <center> <a href="#simon3">Next Essay</a> | <a href="#simon1">Previous Essay</a> | <a href="simon.html">Simon Essays</a> | <a href="katie.html">Katie Essays</a> | <a href="episodes.html">Episode Essays</a> | <a href="arcs.html">Storyline Arc Essays</a></center> <hr> <a name="simon1"> <center>"Anyone Else Want to Drop-kick SIMON Across Oakdale?" By JenniferH. -- posted on <a href="http://pub101.ezboard.com/botherbeautifulthings">Other Beautiful Things</a> Message Board</a></center></center> Cuz I'm seriously wanting to ... oh, Lordy, he is really getting on my last nerve lately. Would it absolutely, positively kill him to acknowledge that he has a wife who is M-I-S-S-I-N-G??? I mean, just a word, a phrase, anything?? He honestly has not even mentioned her name once, nothing at all to indicate that he is even married, that afore-mentioned wife is not around and that prior to the latest Lily Tragedy (tm) he was indeed looking for her because you know, she was (and still is) missing. I would accept (but still be slightly peeved with) at least a comment of, 'well, I tried, but hit a dead end.' Peeved mostly because if it was Lily, he would still be looking high and low, left and right, North and South, East and West. And of course, he's hit more dead ends in this Holden mystery than he would have in a graveyard and that hasn't stopped him from still trying to uncover the truth. Nooooo! Not when he is doing it for the fair Lily, the perfect Lily, the cheating, lying, near-family-abandoning, ungrateful, selfish paragon of virtue that is Lily Snyder. I told a friend this and I SOOO mean it: My loyalty is completely with Katie. I seriously give the screen an evil eye whenever Simon is on now because he isn't acting worthy of Katie in my opinion lately. I say "Jerk" when he comes on and roll my eyes at his actions, and then I mumble something about what a lousy husband he is! And every single time that I see that scene where Margo says "concern yourself with your own wife" I nod approvingly and say "Yeah!" and when she is telling him in the police station about how Katie gave up a whole lot for just so he could stay in the country, I'm like "Yeah!! You Jerky-boy!!!" And he IS a jerky-boy. Oooh, I'm so mad at him right now! I hope, I hope, I hope, I hope, I hope that we get at least a little bit of Katie giving him the cold shoulder, or just plain, genuinely hurt when (and there had better be a when and not an if) she finds out how her husband (who is a much better husband when he is a coconut!) completely ignored her very existence on the planet just because the beauteous, the lovely, the saintly Lily Snyder needed a big, manly shoulder to cry on. "Why, yes, my husband was possibly killed in an explosion, so I'm going to immediately lean on the man who I almost left and completely destroyed my perfect family for. I am Lily Snyder. Taste and a modicum of decency don't apply to me." Once again, it's like she is somewhat leading Simon on and that is so annoying. It's like she can't let go of her swarm of admirers, heaven forbid that Simon no longer worship the ground she walks on and feel blessed by the air she breathes. And that just really, really annoys me -- I mean, I feel that Lily has never been held accountable by anyone (except Katie, but hey, she's just a jealous, vindictive shrew, right?) for what she did to Simon, even by Simon. She did use him; he was nothing but a passionate pitstop. She did lead him on; she did tell him that she wanted to be with him, even so far as planning on leaving her family to run away with him. She also put his INS situation and Katie's freedom at risk by following him all over the place (including on their honeymoon) and generally letting everyone and their brother know that she was involved with him. I just feel that Lily should be called to task not just for what she did to Holden and the family, but also to Simon, and yes, damnit!, Katie too. But of course she won't. Arrrggghhhh!! I knew it, I knew it, I knew it -- I knew that this situation would make both Simon and Lily look bad and Katie would be called a mindless, deluded Barbie-Doll. Arrrggghhh, I know, I know, but it's just one more day of Simon acting as if Katie doesn't even exist all for the glory of picking up Lily's fallen handkerchief!! Arrrggghhhh!! And once more with feeling ... Arrrrgggghhhh!!! JenniferH. <hr> <center> <a href="#simon2">Next Essay</a> | <a href="simon.html">Simon Essays</a> | <a href="katie.html">Katie Essays</a> | <a href="episodes.html">Episode Essays</a> | <a href="arcs.html">Storyline Arc Essays</a> <hr> <TABLE BORDER=0 CELLPADDING=0 CELLSPACING=0> <TR> <TD> <A HREF="index.html"> <IMG SRC="home.gif" WIDTH=57 HEIGHT=22 BORDER=0></A></TD> <TD> <A HREF="images.html"> <IMG SRC="images.gif" WIDTH=76 HEIGHT=22 BORDER=0></A></TD> <TD> <A HREF="media.html"> <IMG SRC="media.gif" WIDTH=155 HEIGHT=22 BORDER=0></A></TD> <TD> <A HREF="storyline.html"> <IMG SRC="story.gif" WIDTH=137 HEIGHT=22 BORDER=0></A></TD> <TD> <A HREF="press.html"> <IMG SRC="press.gif" WIDTH=45 HEIGHT=22 BORDER=0></A></TD> <TD> <A HREF="words.html"> <IMG SRC="words.gif" WIDTH=142 HEIGHT=22 BORDER=0></A></TD> <TD> <A HREF="links.html"> <IMG SRC="links.gif" WIDTH=46 HEIGHT=22 BORDER=0></A></TD> <TD> <A HREF="updates.html"> <IMG SRC="updates.gif" WIDTH=96 HEIGHT=22 BORDER=0></A></TD> </TR> </TABLE></center> </body> </html>