Katie: This is Katie Peretti-Frasier again. I guess you haven't gotten my several messages that I left, but I just wanted to let you know I am very interested. So you can call or come by--
Simon: Who was that?
Katie: Ah, nope, nothing. Ah, the weather.
Simon: The weather? And what's it gonna be like?
Katie: Good. Sounds good.
Simon: Cold.
Katie: Ah, yes.
[Knock at door]
Katie: Oh, thank you so much. I'll get you later.
Simon: Is that what you're gonna be wearing to the benefit?
Katie: No, I--I was just getting it cleaned. You know, for storage,they clean it--when they store it. And this is just a bookmark. It's nothing. It's--you know, just from a book.
Simon: Why don't you go and put that dress on, put on some shoes that match it, and meet me back here in 20 minutes?
Katie: Simon, we can't afford --
Simon: 20 minutes!
Katie: -- the benefit.
Simon: 20 minutes, and not a second sooner. Go. Look gorgeous, as usual.

Simon: Welcome to the Frasier holiday benefit extravaganza. We have fireworks - [ Simon throws confetti in the air ]
Katie: Ooh, ahh!
Simon: -- Fine dining.
Katie: How nice.
Simon: Don't touch.
Katie: Okay.
Simon: And for your listening pleasure, we have music. [Simon picks up his guitar and starts strumming] This is really lame.
Katie: No, it's not.
Simon: Look, I thought this would be fun. God, people should see you in this dress, not be stuck inside here with me.
Katie: Hey, you and I had fun in a dungeon. So I don't wanna hear you getting all depressed in this beautiful, luxury suite.
Simon: Yeah, it was downstairs in an opera house but, hey, I get your point.
Katie: How many times have I told you this? You've made all my wishes come true, so stop it.
Simon: Yeah, but -- don't you want our own penthouse? A car? An island with your own name on it?
Katie: I don't know about you, but I was pretty happy in the garage. But if you wanna buy me an island, then I guess that'll be okay. Just make sure there's no Henry Coleman on it.
Simon: Hey, by the way, have you called the Coast Guard yet?
Katie: It's on my list of things to do.
Simon: Okay.
Katie: So, what's for dinner?
Simon: Ahh, ahh.
Katie: Mmm.
Simon: Peanut butter sandwiches.
Katie: Great. Then they won't get cold. Just in case you wanted to --
Simon: Oh, yes, I do. [Knock on the door] Tell me you are not expecting someone.
Katie: Why don't you run a nice, little bubble bath for us?
Simon: I'll just get the door.
Katie: No, no, no, I'll get it. Don't worry. [phone rings] Please don't be Dahlia. Lily?
Lily: Katie, hi, I'm so sorry to interrupt. It's important. You look so pretty. I'm sorry. Excuse me.
Katie: Thank you.
Lily: Rose is missing.
Katie: Great idea, wrong sister.

Lily: Rose would not just run off like not after she asked me to pretend to be her at the benefit. You know Rose. She would wanna stick around to find out what happened. We have to find her.
Simon: Now?
Lily: I'm sorry. I just don't want the trail to go cold. And the police said we cannot do anything until she's been missing for 48 hours -- unless we come up with something to convince them.
Katie: Don't bother. I know the drill. Just go ahead. You feel responsible. You can help.
Simon: Katie? Katie, why don't you come with us. You're kinda like the bloodhound, anyway. You can help.
Katie: Really?
Simon: Absolutely.
[Phone rings]
Katie: Oh, no, no! Hey, I'll get it! You guys talk. It's okay. [ on the phone ] Hello? Yes, I've left several messages for you, actually. Now would be fine. Great. [ hangs up the phone ] You know that problem we've been having with the shower? It's gonna get fixed. So why don't you guys go make the world safe for Rose again, and I'll entertain the plumber.
Simon: You're not gonna come with us? Come --
Katie: No, I'll be fine.
Simon: You're up to something, aren't you? I know it.
Katie: Don't run off to Malta without calling home first. Bye, Lily. Good luck. Dahlia, you will not be sorry you called. Simon thinks we can't afford the good life. I'm gonna give it to him on a silver platter.

Katie: [Trying out her new aerobics routine for Dahlia] Fat, fat, go away! Don't come back another day! Death to chocolate! Death to cake! Trim your bod for hubby's sake! Go, gorgeous! Okay. What do you think? I know. I'm the first to admit it's a little rough. But -- I think we could get me a choreographer, my own music. But most of all, I think it's inspirational, don't you? Especially the part about the husband.
Dahlia: Well, how do you think your husband would react?
Katie: Oh, he loves everything I do.
Dahlia: He's certainly provided you with a comfortable lifestyle. In fact, I mean, seeing your home, I have to wonder why you'd even wanna make an exercise video.
Katie: Oh, I think every woman should support herself. So how much can we make?
Dahlia: Well, given your prominence -- in fact I have to admit that I had no idea how high-profile you are, given the Endicott Award fiasco --
Katie: Nobody remembers that.
Dahlia: Several million. You know, when you factor in the video sales, endorsements, a book, a clothing line and your own television show. It's a big commitment. Do you think you and your husband could adjust to it?

Rose's House

Lily: If Rose was so in love with Vince, why didn't she take his letters with her?
Simon: I don't know.
Lily: It doesn't make sense.
Simon: All right. Okay, maybe we're on the wrong track here then. Um -- all right, Rose is a pack rat, right? Yeah, remember her dressing room in Atlantic City? You couldn't move because of all the souvenirs. But look at all this stuff here.
Lily: So what are you saying?
Simon: Okay, her clothes are gone. Her makeup is gone. Nothing else that really means anything to her.
Lily: That's what I said to Paul. She did not do her own packing.
Simon: All right, so we have to find something that we know would mean something to her. Then the cops will have to believe us.
Lily: What about a picture of Luke?
Simon: No, no, she'd keep that in her wallet, wouldn't she? It has to be something else -- something unique, one of a kind.
Lily: I know. I know! Here it is. This is Anna Marie's ring.
Simon: Who's that?
Lily: This is her mother's ring, given to her by Joe. There is no way she would leave without this. This is her most prized possession.
Simon: Okay, so somebody else did do her packing for her.
Lily: Whoever did that kidnapped her.

Katie and Simon's Room, Craig's Suite

Dahlia: Well, we'll start you out in the studio, have you teach a few classes.
Katie: And you said millions. Of dollars?
Dahlia: Well, that's a conservative estimate, but yes. Are you ready for success, Katie? Because it could be a two-edged sword.
Katie: Oh, I am ready, believe me.
Dahlia: And your husband won't be intimidated by a wife who makes that kind of money?
Katie: Uh, no, actually. My husband loves me rich or poor.
Dahlia: Lucky you. We'll talk.
Katie: Okay, great. Thanks for coming by. Yes, I did it! I am gonna make Simon rich. He's gonna lose the bet that I can't make money and keep a job, but he'll be happy about it.

Rose's House

Lily: You think that'll be enough? Mrs. D'Angelo's ring?
Simon: Did Rose have a picture of Vince?
Lily: Yes, she did. He sent her one -- or whoever's behind this.
Simon: All right, well, that's good. If we can find a picture of Vince, then we can question the waitress at the diner. See if it really was Vince who took her out of there. If it wasn't, then we have a case that the cops can't ignore.
Lily: She's in big trouble.
Simon: I am sure who is behind this is only trying to discredit her, not hurt her. Okay? So let's find this picture.
Lily: You know what? I'll find the picture. Simon, you should go home to Katie.
Simon: I can stay. Are you sure?
Lily: Yeah. I'm -- I'm so grateful -- I am -- for your help. And I knew when Rose went missing, I could count on you, 'cause you're my friend. So you go home, and I'll look for the picture. Go.
Simon: If you need anything, just --
Lily: I'll call. I will.
Simon: It's gonna be fine.

Katie and Simon's Room, Craig's Suite

Katie: hey, not now, handsome. I'm dreaming about my husband.
Simon: Oh. Is it the husband who stays by his wife's side and doesn't run off to find a missing woman?
Katie: No, it's the one where my husband knows that I would never leave him for anyone else. Even a man who showered me with buckets of diamonds and never left the house.
Simon: So you don't want the legless jeweler?
Katie: I just want you to know how proud I am of you. And I don't need any of that.
Simon: Good.
Katie: You don't have to prove anything to me, you know. I'm very happy just the way I am.
Simon: So you wouldn't be happier if I, say, did -- this? [Simon's hand moves out of camera range, underneath the covers] Or what about this? Or how about this?

Katie: No, no, -
Simon: Katie, get back in that bedroom! I haven't finished with you yet.
Katie: You are never finished. How long can you kiss my neck?
Simon: Well, I was working my way down, wasn't I? Yes, I was. Wait, wait, wait. What's that?
Katie: What? [Katie screams] You are so bad. I have errands to run.
Simon: Yeah, me, too.
Katie: No, you don't. And we can't spend the whole day in bed.
Simon: Yes, we can. I called the office, told them I was sick --
Katie: You should never use the words "Simon Frasier" and "office" in the same sentence.
Simon: I didn't use them in the same sentence.
Katie: You know what I mean. You are not an office worker. You're an adventurer.
Simon: Yes, well, this adventurer is getting pretty sick of sponging your brother.
Katie: Not sponging. We're living off our investments.
Simon: What investments?
Katie: Our investments in our future.
Simon: Okay, wait -- yeah, there you go. You've lost me.
Katie: I just don't want you to worry about money, okay? Because pretty soon, we're gonna have tons of it.
Simon: I've heard that before. But have you got any idea how this is gonna happen?
Katie: Specifically?
Simon: Yes, specifically.
Katie: No. But it is gonna happen because we're smart, and we're hard workers and I think that my neck needs a little more kissing.
Simon: Good. Finally, a concept even I can understand. [They kiss passionately and fall to the couch]
[Craig and Lucy walk in on Simon and Katie]
Craig: Your Aunt Katie and Uncle Simon. You can say "hi" when they come up for air.

Katie: I can't believe it. How did you get so grown up?
Craig: That's what happens to most of us, Katie, you, of course, being the notable exception.
Katie: Anyway, Simon, this is Lucy Montgomery, my niece. Lucy, this is my husband, Simon Frasier.
Simon: Welcome.
Lucy: Hi. Nice to meet you.
Simon: Good to meet you.
Lucy: So, how long have you guys been married?
Katie: Oh. Well, that's actually an interesting story --
Craig: Actually, we don't have time to hear the entire ballad of Simon and Katie. Lucy and I have a little light retailing to do.
Lucy: Daddy's buying me a coat -- a storm coat, whatever that is. But I'm pretty sure it sounds like it has built-in gloves.
Katie: Oh, Craig, that sounds awful.
Lucy: See?
Craig: She's been living in the tropics, Katie. She needs something warmer than a sarong.
Katie: Well, don't buy anything. I'll take you shopping tomorrow.
Craig: No, no, no, no, no -- you just stay out of this.
Simon: That's like asking the sun not to be hot.
Craig: Tomorrow, Lucy starts Oakdale Latin.
Katie: Oh. Well, then we don't have a lot of time. Can you be ready in two minutes? Because I saw the cutest coat in the lobby boutique that would be perfect on you.
Lucy: Great. I'll be right back.
Craig: No, this was gonna --
Katie: No, no, no, no, no -- ah, ah, ah -- zip.
[ Craig groans ]
Craig: That coat better be warm or you're going to be living in it.
Katie: Oh, a little overprotective, are we?
Craig: Lucy's not as cheerful as she seems. She's still trying to get over Bryant's death, assert her independence from her mother, adjust to life here.
Katie: Live with an overbearing father.
Craig: No! She actually likes me, you know. This is not a problem for her. She accepts me, she enjoys my company.
Katie: Wow, that must be a change.
Craig: Well, yeah. But --
Katie: But what?
[Craig sighs]
Craig: I've broken the heart of every girl who ever cared for me. And if that happens to Lucy, I won't be able to live with myself.

Katie: There's nothing to worry about, Craig. You're not gonna hurt your daughter.
Craig: And you know this because?
Katie: Because if you do, I'm gonna have Simon dangle you out of the window by your shoelaces.
Craig: Thank you, Katie. Your sensitivity is exceeded only by your grasp of a difficult situation.
Katie: Thank you.
Lucy: Okay, I'm ready. Can't wait to see that coat.
Katie: Oh, dad?
Craig: You think I'm giving you my credit card? I'd rather lose it on a bus. Here, get whatever you want, but no add-ons at the last minute for auntie Katie.
Katie: Aw, come on, Craig. I need warm clothes, too. It's cold.
[Knock at Door]
Craig: Ask your husband. Maybe he'll take up knitting in his copious leisure.
Simon: I prefer needlepoint.
Craig: [ opening the door ] Jack. Well, hey, everybody, Detective Jack is here.
Jack: I have to ask you a few questions.
Craig: Official business or a spiritual matter?
Jack: It's probably best if your daughter isn't here.
Craig: Ask away, Jack. I'm not gonna clear the room for you.
Jack: Fine. I've been tracing Carly, Emily Stewart and Rose D'Angelo without any luck. And I was wondering if you had anything to do with their abductions.
Lucy: Daddy?
Craig: Well, why don't you two go shopping?
Katie: Yeah, come on, let's go shopping.

[Cell phone rings]
Simon: Ah, that's me. Hello?
Paul: Simon, hey, it's Paul Ryan. I told Lily I'd call you, keep you up to date on the Rose situation.
Simon: Great, thanks what've you got?
Paul: Lucinda Walsh got information that Vince O'Malley joined the army. He's been in Germany for the past year. So, in other words, there's no way he could have been with Rose the night she disappeared.
Simon: All right, okay, where are you now?
Paul: Al's Diner. You know, I could sure use some help kicking this around.
Simon: Yeah, sure, see you soon. [hangs up] Uh, you boys behave, okay? I've got somewhere to be.

Al's Diner

Paul: I'm sorry to take so much of your time. But now that you've had awhile to think about it, is there anything else you can remember about the couple we were talking about?
Waitress: Well, now that I think of it, there was something. The man was a lot older than the woman. I mean, he could've even been her father.
Paul: If I showed you a picture, would you recognize him?
Waitress: I don't know. I gotta get back to work.
Paul: Hey, thank you. Thank you. You've been very helpful.
Waitress: Come back with the picture. I'll do the best that I can.
Simon: All right, all right, so, so? What picture are you gonna show her? Which one?
Paul: My father's.
Mitzi: Paul, I'm sorry I'm late. I'm so worried about Rose, I took a wrong turn on Third.
Paul: No, it's okay. It's okay. I'm glad you're here.
Mitzi: Me, too. We're gonna find her, right? Real soon?
Paul: Yes, we will definitely find Rose.
Mitzi: That's what I like to hear -- confidence. So -- I got something kinda sensitive to tell you. So -- I really don't want anybody else knowing.
Paul: It's fine, Simon's been helping me.
Mitzi: I'm sorry, but it's gonna have to remain strictly between us. No offense.
Simon: Hey, hey, fine, none taken. Good luck.

Outside Al's

Katie: I can't get over how great that coat looks on you.
Lucy: Me, either. Thanks for taking me to the perfect place.
Katie: It is my pleasure. Isn't that what family's for? I do something for you. You do something for me.
Lucy: Is that how you ask for favors around here?
Katie: Favor?
Lucy: What do you need?
Katie: Okay, when I take you back to The Lakeview, I need you to tell Simon some great excuse why I'm not with you.
Lucy: Where are you going to be?
Katie: I have a job interview that's gonna change my life, and if he finds out that I have one, then he's going to want to get a job, too.
Lucy: Wait, but wouldn't that be a good thing?
Katie: Under normal circumstances, yes. But I don't want him just to get any job. I want him to focus on his chosen profession.
Lucy: What does he do?
Katie: He's an adventurer. International.
Lucy: I didn't realize that was an actual job.
Katie: Well, for Simon, it's a way of life, if you know what I mean.
Lucy: Okay, I get it. I'll tell him you went to the library.
Katie: That's a start. I'd rather have you tell him something he's gonna believe, though.
[Katie and Lucy walk into Al's and run into Simon]
Simon: Well, hello ladies, what a pleasant surprise. What's going on?
Katie: Simon, hey, what are you doing here?
Simon: Oh, I had a meeting, it's been postponed. Whatever. Are you hungry? Come on, sit down, let's grab a booth.
Katie: Don't you have to get back to The Lakeview?
Simon: "Get back to The Lakeview"? Hmm? I'm unemployed. Sit down, come on. You have a really pretty coat, Lucy. Did Katie pick that out? Nice shade of red, that's Katie's color.
Lucy: Yeah, I don't know how, but she just knew it looked good on me. And when I tried it on with her hat -- your hat. I left it on the counter at the store.
Katie: My -- my hat -- it's favorite one.
Lucy: I'm sorry. Do you want me to go back for it?
Katie: No, no, no, no. I'll go get it. It'll give you guys a little chance to get to know each other.
Simon: Katie? Katie? Katie, it's no big deal. It's still going to be there. Just give them a call.
Katie: Oh, no. But if I call them and they find out that that beautiful hat is missing, then they are going to keep it for themselves. Can you take Lucy home for me?
Lucy: Aunt Katie, I don't need a sitter. I can get there myself.
Simon: It's fine. I will -- I'll deliver her personally.
Katie: Fabulous. Thank you so much. Bye.
Simon: So, Lucy, do you want to tell me what your aunt Katie's up to?
Lucy: Um -- why would you think she's up to something?
Simon: Oh, because I know her, that's all.

Health Club

Dahlia: Katie, welcome. I am so excited that we're doing this.
Katie: Me too. Um, is the outfit okay?
Dahlia: Exquisite.
Katie: And the hair?
Dahlia: Perfect. Shall we begin?
Katie: Begin?
Dahlia: Yep. Ladies, this is your new teacher, the one and only Katie Frasier.

Craig's Suite

Lucy: So what do you think?
Craig: It's gorgeous. Is it warm?
Lucy: Sweltering.
Craig: Yeah. Good. All right. Where's Katie?
Simon: Yes, exactly. That's what I want to know. Lucy, where's Katie?
Lucy: Excuse me, I have a new coat to hang up.
Craig: And I have a problem. It seems Jack was right about Carly. Rimbaud never called her.
Simon: All right, then who did?
Craig: That's what we have to find out.
Lucy: So what happened with that Detective? Is he always that rude?
Craig: Yes, but he was mistaken.
Lucy: Then why were you slamming the phone down when I came in?
Craig: Because Jack is a friend of Carly's. And he thinks that she's missing, not by choice. And I have a feeling he's right about that.
Lucy: Is she in danger?
Craig: I don't want you worrying about that.
Lucy: If you won't, I won't.
Craig: Come on. When you came to stay with me, I promised myself that I would make the most of all of our time together. And I'm not going to let anything the way of that. All right? It would not be fair to either of us.
Lucy: I know how you feel about me being here. It's just as important to me. But if you care about Carly, then she's important, too. If you need to go look for her, I will understand.
Craig: Oh, I -- I already have something worked out.

Craig: [on the phone] No, Tenney. T-E-N-N-E-Y. Carly is the first name.
Lucy: He's really worried about Carly.
Simon: Well, it's just his way of missing her.
Lucy: You're right. He was always calling me at school to yell at me about something, but I knew it was just because he missed me. He could, you know, never admit it. Not like you.
Simon: Not like me what?
Lucy: It's okay. Katie told me all about it, how it was love at first sight and how you chased her to that desert island. I think that is so evolved.
[Simon laughs]
Simon: Well, I tell you what. That story has certainly evolved. But yeah, you're right. I love her with all my heart. Do you want to tell me where she went?
Lucy: Her hat, remember? She left it --
Simon: Lucy, Lucy, I've never seen Katie wear a hat, so where did she go?

Health Club

Dahlia: Okay. Ready to start class?
Katie: Now?
Dahlia: Well, I think the ladies will be warmed up in about a minute. Is your husband coming?
Katie: Simon? No. I mean, this is kind of my thing, you know? And my niece just got into town.
Dahlia: She would love this. Aunt Katie on her way to becoming a star? You nail this class, and we can make your video. Why don't you give her a call?
Katie: Oh, they have their day planned, I hope. Besides, it looks like I have a big enough audience as it is.
Dahlia: Butterflies?
Katie: Oh, one or two -- or three or four.
Dahlia: Not to worry. Well, it looks like the ladies are ready. Good luck.
Katie: Thanks. All right.

Craig's Suite

Lucy: I'm sure Aunt Katie will be home soon.
Simon: I tell you what. Maybe I should give her a call?
Lucy: No! I mean, I don't think you'll get her. She said something about her battery being low.
Simon: Did she? Let me tell you something about your Auntie Katie. She's -- she's full of energy and screwball ideas. She's never dull. It's kind of part of her charm. So she's cooking up something right now, isn't she?
Lucy: I wish I could tell you, Uncle Simon, but --
Simon: Lucy, did Katie tell you why I had to chase her to that island? Did she? No? It's 'cause she crashed a plane on the beach. She crash landed the plane, not Henry the pilot, okay? And then -- and then she's stranded there, and she decided to go scuba diving in this really dangerous reef with huge sharks to find this diamond -- I mean, it's a long story, but you get the idea, right?
Lucy: So she's a little reckless?
Simon: Exactly, exactly. So I want to hit her off at the pass before picking up the pieces later. I promise I won't tell her that you told me.
Lucy: I promised her I wouldn't tell you.
Craig: Simon?
Simon: Yeah?
Craig: Lucy, could you excuse us for a minute?
Lucy: Not a problem.
Simon: No, we were just having a conversation.
Lucy: You talk to daddy. I have a desperate need to buy something. I'm not sure what. Please, please, please, please, please, please, please.
Craig: [ Laughs ] All right. Spend away. Go ahead. Bankrupt me.
Lucy: Thank you, daddy.
Craig: Okay. So Simon, I need you to go to Paris.
[Simon laughs]
Simon: Yeah, right.
Craig: Don't laugh. Carly Tenney is missing. That's the last place she was seen.
Simon: Carly's your problem. She's not mine.
Craig: You're my solution.
Simon: Hey, hey, turn up your hearing aid, old man. I've told you a hundred times. I'm sick of being your lackey. I'm not going to do it anymore. Find someone else.

Health Club

Katie: Okay. Great. Does anyone remember the sprinkler? [Sighs] No? Anyone? All right, let's take a breath, check your pulse.
Dahlia: You okay?
Katie: Yeah, great. No, they hate me.
Dahlia: They're a tough crowd. They're at the gym every day, or working out at home with the top gurus on tape. It isn't easy to inspire them, but you will. You'll find your own style. [phone rings] excuse me.
Katie: [starts taking deep breaths] In with the good -- out with the bad --
Woman: Somebody get her an oxygen tank. [Laughter]

Health Club

Craig: My son, I thought I heard you say no to the man who made Katie's wedding dream come true. And no to the brother-in-law who allows you to live here rent-free.
Simon: So pay me for the last half dozen sleazy jobs I did for you, and I'll move out.
Craig: Your memory is short, but sleazy? Paris? I don't think so.
Simon: Trust me, if you're involved, it'll turn sleazy.
Craig: Simon, I don't know whether to be offended or hurt.
Simon: So take your pick. Let me remind you, ring a few bells here -- Gabriel? No? Ruby?
Craig: This is different, Simon. It's not about money or power or revenge. It's about Carly. If something's happened to her --
Simon: It's because of you, Craig! Why'd she go to Paris in the first place -- huh? Huh? You! So take responsibility and clean up your own damn mess!
Craig: No, no, no, you're right, it is my fault. I contacted Rimbaud. I urged her to go. I should have insisted upon going with her. But, no, I was too late. I can't leave Lucy, Simon. And Carly's out there somewhere in trouble.
Simon: Yeah, it's a problem, huh?
Craig: When Katie was marooned on that island and you knew she was in trouble, would you have gone if you had a 16-year-old daughter waiting on you, Simon? She needs me. Simon, her brother died, she turned to me for comfort. It's a second chance for us.
Simon: Yeah, well, Katie, your sister, and I have a second chance right here.
Craig: So take her with! Consider it a honeymoon! Huh? C'mon, Simon, you big galoot. What do you say? Paris, Katie, a noble cause. What's so bad?
Simon: [giving in] One week, Craig. One week!
Craig: Thank you. I'll make arrangements for two. You leave tonight.
Simon: Well, whatever you're up to, Katie, it's going to have to wait.

Health Club

Lucy: Did Bryant work out at this gym, too?
Billy: Sometimes.
Lucy: Aunt Katie? What are you--
Katie: Simon's not here, is he?
Lucy: He's doing some business thing with dad. It's okay, I've got you covered. You look great.
Katie: Oh, please. These women hate me. You're witnessing the shortest career ever.
Dahlia: Okay, you're on.
Katie: Great. Okay, ladies. You ready to pump those hearts. [ Group groans ] Let's go back to the top again, half time. Jump to the right. Snap. To the left. Snap. Jump, kick, and out. Other side.
Lucy: We have to do something. This is awful.
Billy: Yeah.
Lucy: Aunt Katie is counting on this job.
Katie: Again with the same feet.
Billy: You know what? I got an idea. [Takes his shirt off] Hold this for a second. I'll be right back. Hey, ladies, I could use a good workout. What do you say?
[Giggling over each other]
Katie: Why is he doing this to me?
Lucy: So?
Billy: [Pumping up the group] Katie! [Cheering]
All: Katie!

Billy: Come on, y'all. Go low. Come on. Come on. I can't hear you. [Cheers] ooh, yeah!
Katie: Okay, let's take it five, six, seven, eight.
Billy: What do we got there?
Katie: And here's a jump.
Billy: Whoo! All right, come on, guys. I can't hear ya! [ Applause ] Good job, good job.
Katie: Ladies, thank you. Great job. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Don't forget to stretch. Great.
Lucy: My hero.
Billy: Hey, anything for the family, you know?
Katie: Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Billy: Hey. It wasn't just me. They just needed a change around here, you know?
Lucy: You were great, Aunt Katie. I'll see you at home.
Katie: Okay. And Simon doesn't know where you were or that I was there, okay?
Lucy: I know.
Katie: Great. Thank you.
Billy: All right.
Dahlia: Congratulations. I've never seen a class respond like that.
Katie: Yeah, well, I think they just needed a little more motivation.
Dahlia: Well, you motivated me. I'm going to have those contracts drawn up, and we'll start planning for the taping. I'll see you tomorrow.
Katie: Tomorrow?
Dahlia: Yeah, check the desk for your schedule. You'll be teaching three classes a day, four days a week until we start the taping. I smell money, Katie. You and I are gonna be rich.
Katie: Three classes a day?

Craig's Suite

Katie: Where's Simon?
Lucy: Looking for you. Here. I bought you a hat.
Katie: A hat?
Simon: Katie -- Katie, where have you been?
Lucy: Her hat. She found it.
Simon: Oh, fantastic, cause now she can pack it.
Katie: Why? You're kicking me out?
Simon: No, it's the only way that I'm gonna get you to go to Paris.
Katie: Paris? What is it?
Simon: It's a major European city that has frog's legs and Gerard Depardieu. But that's not important right now.
Katie: Wait. We're going to Paris now? Why?
Simon: Because I have a job there for about a week. Come on. We can get in some honeymooning while we're there. It'll be a treat.
Katie: A week in Paris. Well, you know, I think that a woman should let her husband do his career when he needs to. So you go do your job, and I'll see you when you get back.
Simon: Wait, wait, whoa, wait. Whoa. Okay, I just asked my wife to go to Paris with me, and she said no. Please, tell me what's going on.
Lucy: Hey, dad. I bought you a present.
Craig: For me? Buried in that sea of packages? Simon, I have your tickets.
Lucy: He needs to work something out with Aunt Katie.

Craig: Ah, just the man I needed to see.
Simon: Yeah, Paris is canceled, you've decided to go find Carly by yourself? That's --
Craig: Neither, neither. All systems are go, adventure man, so don't get cold feet. What's wrong?
Simon: I've just got an odd feeling about Katie.
Craig: You have an odd wife.
Simon: Look, who's going to keep an eye on her while I'm gone? She's -- she's up to something.
Craig: Katie will do whatever Katie wants to do. You're better off not knowing. Now, listen, I've just come from Jack. He's agreed to arrange a police contact for you in Paris, so you go get Carly and you bring her home.
Simon: I've got a better idea. You go to Paris and find Carly yourself. You'll be her hero.
Craig: I'd love nothing better, but I can't go to Paris or anywhere else while Lucy's with me.

Lucy: Somebody has to find Carly, right?
Craig: Uncle double-oh Simon, one-man search and rescue team.
Simon: Yeah, never fear, Frasier's here.
Craig: And while he's on the case, I am with you. I promised your mom I'd watch you like the stock market.
Lucy: It sounds like I'm stuck with you.
Craig: Oh, yeah. Yeah. And while we're here, why don't we order up a mess of room service. Simon.
Simon: Yeah?
Craig: Mess of room service.
Lucy: I'd love to. Any night but tonight.
Simon: Really? What, you've got a hot date?
Lucy: Yeah. Hot date with Aunt Katie.
Simon: Really? Yes?
Lucy: I promised her I'd help her with something. Man. So suspicious.
Craig: Sounds like just the two of us, bucko.
Simon: Are you kidding? I'd never eat again. I'll see you later on.
Craig: Abandoned on all sides. How could things come to this?

Katie: Ooh, there's another one. Hey you're just on time.
Lucy: When you said Al's Diner was crawling with jocks, I thought you were crazy.
Katie: Well, the gym's right down the block. They come in here to carbo load.
Lucy: You're a marketing genius, Aunt Katie. And you sure do have an interesting life.
Katie: An interesting business life. We are only contacting these guys for one reason -- to make my aerobics class look so good that the ladies flock to me. All right, here are the first ten sign-ups. Copy down their names and their numbers while I go work on number eleven.
Lucy: He's not even gonna know what hit him.
Katie: Hey.
Jock: Hey.
Katie: So, what'cha order?
Jock: Protein shake.
Katie: Hmm, makes sense. Goes with the muscles. May I?
Jock: Sure.
Katie: Nice. You must do a lot of weight training.
Simon: I'll give you a word of advice, mate -- lay off the aminoes and go for the ginseng, 'cause that's what you're gonna need to keep up with this one, here.
Katie: Simon, hi.
Simon: Hello, sweetheart. Tell me what you're doing here picking up strange men? Again.

Jock: The lady and I are friends.
Simon: Well, the lady and I are married. [Simon laughs] Well, he's kinda nimble on his feet for a weightlifter.
Katie: How could you do that?
Simon: Me do what?
Katie: You totally scared him off? He was supposed to be the 11th guy --
Simon: Oh, why don't you make it an even dozen. What are you talking about?
Katie: [scrambling] I was getting gym advice. 'Cause I'm probably gonna join a gym. You were jealous!
Simon: Whatever.
Lucy: That is so romantic.
Katie: And I am so innocent.
Simon: Innocent, innocent? You weren't innocent the day you were born. And I'm gonna stick to you like -- like something really sticky.
Katie: Oh, really?
Simon: Yes.
Katie: Is that what you were doing? Checking up on me?
Simon: No. No, actually, I was on the way to the station to see Jack. And I was about to cross the street, and I looked in here and I see you squeezing some guy's -- some guy's muscles.
Lucy: Are you helping the police, Uncle Simon?
Simon: Well, actually, Detective Snyder is helping me with the whole Paris gig.
Katie: Oh, well you shouldn't keep him waiting. Ready to go, Lucy? We'll see you later.
Simon: [Grabs Katie's notebook] Ahh, what do we have here?
Katie: Nothing that would interest you. Nothing that would interest you.
Simon: Well, that's where you're wrong, my love.

Craig's Suite

Lucy: Dad? It's okay, he went out.
Katie: Oh, good. No offense to your dad, but Craig is the last person you want knowing your secrets.
Lucy: Maybe I should have stuck around. You know, he seemed kind of down tonight. You don't think he drowning his sorrows or anything, do you?
Katie: No, he's fine. Besides, I needed you. Tonight we have a little bit of time to ourselves, so, we're gonna make up a great routine to impress the workout divas. "Lunge your way to lean" fantastic. It's gonna be a long night.
Lucy: I'll order something from room service.
Katie: Oh, get me a hot fudge sundae and a soda.
Lucy: Are you sure that's a good idea? I mean, you have to wear spandex to work.
Katie: Make it a diet soda.
Simon: Honey, I'm home.
Katie: Hi.
Simon: Hello, sweetheart.
Katie: Hi. I thought you were working with Jack tonight?
Simon: No, he didn't show up. So what are you two planning? A movie marathon?
Lucy: Yes right, Aunt Katie?
Katie: Right.
Simon: What do we have - "Dirty Dancing," -- "Break Dance Two, Electric Boog-a-Loo," nice -- and "Flashdance," you maniac.
Katie: It's a theme movie marathon.
Lucy: And the theme is sweat.
Katie: Got lots of movies of people sweating.
Simon: Right, and these are your top three perspiration pics? All right Katie, it's time for you to tell the truth. What are you up to?
[Knock on door] go away.
Katie: Come in. Oh, wrong room.
Dahlia: Oh, great news! Oh, cute. Is he yours?
Katie: Yes, he is my husband, Simon Frasier.
Dahlia: Well, you have a remarkable wife. It's a pleasure to meet you.
Simon: And you, too. And you are?
Katie: She is the reason that I'm spending my life in spandex.

Katie: Play along, okay? Just play along.
Simon: What did you say? What did you say?
Katie: Me?
Simon: Yes. What did you say?
Katie: I said they're playing our song. Dahlia and her boyfriend are getting married, and I'm her personal trainer. There, that's the secret. I'm helping her out on her big day. She's a little touchy about her hips.
Dahlia: What did you say?
Katie: No loose lips. Cause this is a secret. It's a surprise for her fiancé.
Lucy: And that's why Katie was at the diner with all those jocks. She was researching other gyms.
Simon: Well, that makes sense, yes.
Lucy: Yes.
Katie: So there's the whole story. What do you think?
Simon: I think I'm gonna teach you how to lie better. Later. Dahlia, best of luck with married life.
Katie: Oops.
Lucy: I didn't realize marriage was so much work. I'm going to bed. Good night.
Katie: Good night. I'll see you in the morning, okay? Okay, now, I don't want you worrying about what just happened.
Dahlia: Doesn't your husband approve of your working?
Katie: Oh, of course he does. It's just, we had this bet goin', and I need to win and I need to have him not know what I'm doing until I know I've won.
Dahlia: Okay. Well, can you still teach those extra classes this week?
Katie: Oh, yes.
Dahlia: I mean, we were counting on you.
Katie: No, no, I know. No, I will be there for sure. Don't worry about me. Besides, Simon's gonna be in Paris, so he won't know any different.
Dahlia: Oh, really? You're a confident wife.
Katie: What do you mean?
Dahlia: Well, if I had a husband that good-looking, I'm not sure I'd let him go to church by himself, let alone a romantic city like Paris.

Dahlia: Plus, the PR that you've been doing has been a total success. I mean, I'm getting dozens of calls about your class. Keep it up, tie, and I'll have no trouble getting the green light on our video deal.
Katie: Great.
Dahlia: What's wrong? I hope it wasn't that random comment about your husband. I mean, I really, I was just kidding around. I'm sure that your faith in him is completely justified.
Simon: Katie -- hey, I'm sorry, guys, I thought you'd be done by now.
Dahlia: You see, he can't stay away. We were just nailing down our next session. Good night.
Simon: Good night.
Katie: Good night.
Simon: Well, talk about nailing down -- why don't we go to the bedroom and have a little session of our own?
Katie: Hold on a minute, Mr. Love 'em and leave 'em. Tell me something. How many women do you know in Paris, anyway?

Simon: Let's forget gay Paris and talk about something a little more home-grown, like, oh, Al's Diner. What were you doing there with all those gym monkeys?
Katie: Lucy told you. I was researching gyms, so I could help out --
Simon: Ah, ah, ahh -- [Simon clears throat] let's try again. I've always learned with you that it's a good idea to dig a little deeper.
Katie: Okay, so you don't trust me?
Simon: About some things, implicitly. About everything? No. I mean, I still can't figure out what would involve Dahlia, videos and a bunch of -- a bunch of muscle heads. But I will find out. I'll crack the code. Never fear.
Katie: From Paris?
Simon: Mm-hmm.
Katie: How? I thought you were going to be spending all your time looking for Carly. Well, that is, if you have any time left over after you hook up with all of your Mademoiselles from your bachelor days.
Simon: Oh, come on, you -- please. Don't you get it yet? My bachelor days are over. I'm officially in my married ones. And there's not one mademoiselle on this earth who can hold a candle to you. You know, I miss you so much already, it hurts. And I refuse to sit here and argue when we could be doing something else.
Katie: Okay, how many women do you know in Paris?
[ Simon sighs ]
Simon: Let me think. [Simon counts in French]
Katie: Hey!
Simon: But you, my love, are the only one that I caress, kiss and love.

Simon: If I didn't know you better, I'd swear you were trying to get rid of me.
Katie: What? No. The sooner you get to Paris and find Craig's favorite gold digger, the sooner you can get back here to me.
Simon: Please come with me. Come with me.
Katie: Another time.
Simon: You might as well tell me what you're up to, because I will find out.
Katie: Up to?
Simon: Yes.
Katie: I am showing my favorite niece the sights. Right, Luce?
Lucy: Right. The sights.
Simon: Right, the sights. That'd take about two minutes.
Lucy: I take it you two haven't told him about the j-o-b yet.
Katie: Um, no, not yet. Eventually. What's all that?
Lucy: Homework. And if that's not enough, I've got the PSATs coming up and they want us to do community service.
Katie: Well, I know just the thing. I'm not only helping the community, I am helping the world by keeping them slim and trim, right? You'll help me. You'll be my personal assistant.

Lucy: Mailings, posters -- I can do this.
Katie: Of course you can, with your hands tied behind your back. And while the other girls are emptying bedpans and cleaning up road kill, you'll be helping to keep America beautiful. Always a worthy cause.
[Phone ringing]
Lucy: I'll get it.
Katie: Oh, remember.
Lucy: Right. Katie Frasier's office.
Craig: Lucy?
Lucy: Oh. Hi, daddy.
Craig: Hey, sweetness. Simon there?
Lucy: Sure. Simon.
Simon: Yeah.
Lucy: It's my father.
Simon: [ on the phone ] Yeah?
Craig: Simon, we don't have a lot of time before your flight. I want you to meet me at Al's Diner. We have a lot to go over.
Simon: Fine, fine. I'm on my way.

Hallway Outside Craig's Suite

Simon: Okay, wallets, passport. Tickets, tickets.
Katie: Oh.
Simon: Are you sure I'm not gonna find you in the seat next to me on the plane?
Katie: Ah. Just for that, I'm gonna let you miss me so much.
Dahlia: Aw, newlyweds. How sweet. Don't worry, Simon. I'll be keeping your wife very busy while you're gone.

Craig's Suite

Simon: So, you're here about the wedding, right?
Dahlia: The wedding. Oh, mine. Yes. Yeah. I don't know what I would do without your Katie.
Simon: Well, why don't we try and find out? One last chance. You and me and gay par-ee?
Katie: Oh, you know Craig needs you more than I do. Okay, go, before I change my mind. [ Simon leaves ] Okay. Obviously I haven't told him yet. Surprise. You know the deal. Lucy! You remember Lucy. Dahlia, Lucy is my new personal assistant.
Lucy: This is so exciting.
Dahlia: Yes, it is. You should have your attorney look this over.
Katie: Is this a contract?
Dahlia: You sign, we tape. Your first six-figure paycheck, you can take me out to dinner to celebrate. Oh, don't forget -- you have a class in an hour.
[Dahlia leaves]
Katie: Okay. We are businesswomen, Lucy.
Lucy: Yes, sir, Mrs. Frasier. [Knock at door] I'll get it.
Kim: Hi, Lucy.
Lucy: Mrs. Hughes.
Kim: Is Katie -- ah. Katie. I wonder - could I have a few moments, please?
Katie: Why?
Kim: Lucy, I'm sorry. But would you mind?
Lucy: Oh, right. Sorry. [whispering to Katie] I'll meet you at the g-y-m.
Kim: When I stepped out of the elevator, I noticed that there was a dark-haired woman coming down the hallway. I assume she had been here meeting with you?
Katie: That was Dahlia. A friend.
Kim: Dahlia Ventura?
Katie: How did you know her name?
Kim: Katie, I have a feeling there are some things you should know.

Al's Diner

Jack: We talked to Barbara. She's clean.
Craig: According to who, her son?
Jack: Craig, we know that Stenbeck's involved. You move on Barbara, he's gonna find out about it. That's why Simon Frasier -- he's our only hope. Stenbeck doesn't know who he is, he won't care. Meanwhile, you and I, we have to go about our business and pretend like we don't know what's goin' on. For you, it shouldn't be all that hard.
Craig: So I guess Simon was a good idea.
Jack: So what do you want? A gold star?
Craig: No, Simon, Jack has something for you. Don't you, Jack?
Simon: Good, what have you got?
Jack: Thank you for doing this.
Simon: Yeah, no problem.
Jack: Apparently Carly sent this postcard to Parker as soon as she landed in Paris.
Simon: Okay, what's the -- the Cheval Volant?
Jack: Well, that's the limo service that she was planning on taking. We're checking on the driver now. I'll let you know as soon as I have something else on that. Here --
[Craig remembers Barbara's words]
Barbara: Here's some advice, some unsolicited wisdom I learned from being your wife -- you can make someone need you, but you can't make her love you.No matter what you give her, she'll always want Jack.
Jack: And this is James Stenbeck. It's a fairly recent mug shot.
Craig: Find Carly, Simon. Bring her back to me.

Craig's Suite

Kim: I was down in post-production looking for some old footage when I realized that there was a whole slew of tapes missing, and they were all segments that you had hosted. The girls in the production office said that this Dahlia had called the station and asked for the tapes.
Katie: Well, that's because we're working together. We met at The Lakeview lounge last month, and she recognized me from my anchoring days. It was a total fluke. She ended up having this job opportunity, and I was looking for something. So I told her to look at my tapes from WOAK. No biggie.
Kim: And this was just recently?
Katie: Yeah. Right around the holidays.
Kim: Except that Dahlia Ventura called the station last August.
Katie: What do you mean?
Kim: I would say that it means that it was no accident that you met. The woman has been researching you for months.

Katie: This has to be some mistake. She offered me a contract, Kim. This is legit.
Kim: That very well may be. I don't know. I don't know the woman. I only know that she's misrepresented herself, and I thought that I should warn you.
Katie: No, you thought you should rain on my parade.
Kim: I beg your pardon?
Katie: This is payback, Kim. I know it when I see it. And you're good at it. I'll give you that. I mean, you waited all this time, since everything went down between me and Chris.
Kim: Oh, for heaven's sakes, get off it. I don't like you. You're right about that. This is not about you. It is about me. I will not allow anyone to use my station to take advantage of any employee. Past or present. Now, you can listen to my advice or you can forget it. Your call.
Katie: Kim, I'm sorry. It's just that I really wanted this to work out.
Kim: Maybe it will. But if I were you, I'd be careful.

Al's Diner

Jack: You gotta find out who sent that fax.
Simon: I'll check out the Georges Cinq Hotel, see if anyone's seen our friend here.
Jack: Well, be careful. He's dangerous. As for Cheval Volant --
Simon: I'll nose around a little bit. Look, Jack, I know you'd be going in my place if you could. But trust me -- I will treat this as if it were Katie missing.
Craig: I think we'd both like to go to Paris.
Simon: All right. Right. Guys, I'll be in touch.
Jack: Thank you, Simon. And good luck.

Health Club

Dahlia: There you are. Do you have the contract?
Katie: I need to ask you something. That night that we met at The Lakeview and you recognized me, I suggested that you take a look at some of my tapes from WOAK.
Dahlia: Right. I called. And they messengered them over.
Katie: And that was after we met and talked and you got this idea for me to become an exercise guru?
Dahlia: The best idea I ever had. Which is why we really need to get this contract squared away.
Katie: I'm not squaring away anything until I figure out what's going on. Because you didn't just come up with this and we didn't just meet perchance. The fact is you called WOAK last summer, and we didn't meet until almost Christmas.

Katie: You made it look like we met on a fluke. But the truth is, you had planned the whole thing.
Dahlia: I don't know where you got this idea.
Katie: From the facts. You requested tape of me from WOAK months before we met at The Lakeview. I'm all for coincidence, but that is really weird.
Dahlia: Wait a minute, are you sure about those dates? Because I --
Katie: You see that contract? I'm not signing it until I figure out what is going on here.
Dahlia: Going on? Katie, I --
Katie: Spill it, Dahlia. Or the jumping jacks end right now!
Dahlia: All right. If you give me a moment, I'll explain everything.

Dahlia: I have a long-standing association with a production company in Chicago. They've wanted me to do business with them for years. I pitched them the concept of the workout tape and they flipped.
Katie: Then why did you want me?
Dahlia: Well, you're personable, energetic, you have got a great figure and people know you.
Katie: Yeah, as a broadcaster, not as some exercise instructor.
Dahlia: You see, for me, that was part of the hook. "You loved her on WOAK? Here's a whole other facet of Katie's personality."
Katie: Yeah, well that's all good and fine. But why didn't you just tell me at, instead of pretending that we just happened to meet. And you just happened to come up with this idea on the spot.
Dahlia: That was wrong. I'm sorry. But I was so excited at the prospect of getting you involved. I mean, I didn't want to go through channels. I wanted it to happen right in front of our eyes.
Katie: Or behind my back.
Dahlia: I don't want to hurt you, Katie. On the contrary, I want us both to get rich.
Katie: Well, there's nothing wrong with that.
Dahlia: Exactly. Now, I may have made an error in judgment in the beginning. But in the end, we will both profit from it.
Katie: And everything else is on the level?
Dahlia: Of course. The contract protects us both. But you have to sign it, or it all ends right here.

Katie: You know I want to do this, or I wouldn't be here. It's just that we have to be honest with each other from now on.
Dahlia: I agree. You have my word.
Katie: All right. Well, let's start getting rich.

Dahlia: Wonderful. Let's get working on that video. Have you come up with a concept?
Katie: Oh, yeah, a great one.
Dahlia: I knew you could do it. Do tell.
Katie: Okay, so I've been checking out all the videos on the market. And they are all missing one very important thing.
Dahlia: What's that?
Katie: Men.
Dahlia: That's true. Go on.
Katie: All right, remember when Billy was in here the other day working out without his shirt on?
Dahlia: Yeah, the kid was lucky to get out of here in one piece.
Katie: Exactly! So I'm thinking -- instead of doing a video with a bunch of girls in great shape, why not do one with the hottest guys we can find?
Dahlia: I like it. Very bold.
Katie: I think so too. So here's how it works. Okay, we start out the class, and all the guys are in full sweat outfits. As the class goes on, a sweatshirt comes off. The pants come off, the shirt comes off, and -- and that should be enough. Needless to say, by the end of the tape we end up with just a bunch of gorgeous half-naked men and me. You hate it.
Dahlia: No. It's brilliant. Katie, you're a genius.
Katie: The best part is the title. "Katie Frasier's All New Butt Bustin' Workout.”
Dahlia: Fantastic. I knew that you were the right choice for this. Any chance your husband will be one of those hunks?
Katie: Simon? No, no way.
Dahlia: Why? He's so attractive. And he's obviously in good shape.
Katie: No, Simon cannot find out about this, all right? You get that? Ever.

Dahlia: You and Simon don't do things like the rest of us, do you?
Katie: No, we don't. In fact, that bet we have going right now is about me being successful.
Dahlia: And he bet against you? That's ridiculous.
Katie: Oh, no, actually it's not. I have this reputation for screwing things up.
Dahlia: Well, you tell your husband for me that those days are over. That Katie Frasier is going to be a huge success, and he just lost himself a bet.

Katie: Thank you, Dahlia. It feels so good to have someone finally believe in me again.
Dahlia: This concept of yours is golden. Listen, with your personality and my marketing skills, we absolutely can't miss.
Katie: I knew it. I knew it. But -- I'm not going to spend all my money at once. I'm gonna put some away for the future.
Dahlia: Of course, but there'll be plenty left over for you and Simon to enjoy.
Katie: You have no idea how I've dreamed about this. Okay, well, I better get going. I've got to get my niece back to her dad's suite. Oh, just to make sure, one more time -- you did say millions, right?
Dahlia: At least.
Katie: Yes. I'm gonna be rich. I'm gonna be rich.
Dahlia: Yes, you will be, Katie. I'm counting on it.
Katie: [on the phone] Hey Billy? Where'd you two go?
Billy: Katie, promise you won't get mad?
Katie: No.
Billy: Lucy and I had a little argument. And she insisted on walking home.
Katie: Did you follow her?
Billy: Yeah, for a little bit.
Katie: And?
Billy: She got into a limo.
Katie: A limo?
Billy: Yeah, I mean, I yelled at her, but she didn't hear me. I tried to catch up with the car, but it was too far ahead.
Katie: Did you get a license plate?
Billy: All I can tell you -- it was big and black.
Katie: Where are you now?
Billy: I'm at Java Underground. I thought maybe she'd show up here.
Katie: Thanks a lot, Billy. I was supposed to be taking care of her.
Billy: Katie, I'm sorry. I -- [dial tone] gosh, dang it.
Katie: Just when everything was going great. Craig is gonna kill me.

Craig: Ah, Katie. I'm on my way over to "The Intruder" before it goes belly up.
Katie: Okay. Craig?
Craig: Didn't you hear me? I'm just on my way.
Katie: Don't be mad.
Craig: You know, whenever you preamble like that, I get anxious.
Katie: I lost something. But I swear I am gonna find it immediately.
Craig: What did you lose?
Katie: Your daughter.
Craig: Lucy? Where is she?
Katie: I do 't know exactly. We were together at the gym and then she was gone. The next thing I found out is that she got into someone's limo.
Craig: Limo? Whose? Call Margo. All right, she'll get out an all search -- argh!
Lucinda: Ah, Craig, you want us to accept you as a responsible parent? I found her wandering where anybody, and I mean anybody, could have grabbed her.

Craig: Lucinda, will you at least let Lucy get a word in edgewise?
Lucinda: There's nothing more to be said about this. Nothing more to be said. She was alone, she was lost, you had abandoned her. And luckily, I rescued her.
Lucy: You know it wasn't like that, grandmother. I was walking home, daddy. She gave me a ride.
Craig: Lucinda?
Lucinda: She may have thought that she was walking home. She does not know the town. She is new to it. It is dark, fit only for owls and stalkers, and cold, windy. It's not sunny, sunny Montega. Sierra, it's just folly. It was absolutely sheer folly for her to leave this child in your care.
Katie: Actually, Mrs. Walsh, don't get mad at Craig. I was supposed to be with Lucy today. She was helping me with gym business, we got separated for a little while. But all's well that ends well, right?
Lucinda: Oh, Katie, Katie is the -- she's the guardian here? You might as well leave the child with a 2-year-old. And who's Jim?
Craig: Lucinda, I think you ought to re-exam your medication.
Lucinda: Very, very funny. I don't think so, really. No. All right, you can explain your irresponsibility as a parent to the child's mother. I'm calling Sierra.
Craig: The hell you are. You will not bother Sierra.
Lucinda: Bother Sierra? Sierra has a need to know the latest evidence of your chronic irresponsibility, Craig.
Craig: Well, it doesn't sound like Lucy was in danger.
Lucy: I told you I wasn't lost, grandmother.
Craig: And if she were, she'd punch number one on her cell phone and I'd go get her.
Lucy: I was just taking the long way home.
Katie: And just to let you know, the "Jim" that I was talking about was not a guy. It was the gym. You know, shape up, firm up, tone up.
Lucinda: Shut up. Craig, I've already lost one grandchild, all right? I'm not going to lose another. I'm going to be vigilant with this one.
Lucy: What happened to Bryant wasn't your fault.
Lucinda: Darling, that's not what your mother thinks. And he was older. And she thinks I didn't watch him closely enough. And heaven knows this one over here didn't watch him at all. Your mother is just -- she's just lost her mind to leave you in proximity to him.
Lucy: Don't say that, please?
Lucinda: Darling, I'm not criticizing your mom. I'm not. Grief makes one -- well, grief makes one irrational. Craig, Lucy needs to be monitored. Monitored, okay? Now, I intend to see that she is.
Craig: Lucy, how do you feel about having your grandmother trailing you all over Oakdale?
Lucinda: She's not going to be "all over" anything -- "all over" -- that's ridiculous. She's got to be in a safe place, and she's got to be properly supervised.
Craig: And according to you, that would be where?
Lucinda: That would be home, in Montega, with her mother. [ Craig laughs ] or it would be in her boarding school.
Craig: Oh?
Lucinda: Or possibly, she could be with me.
Craig: With you?
Lucinda: With me.
Lucy: Hey, why don't you just cut me up into little pieces? 'Cause you know, I'm not a person. I'm just something you all own. Who cares what I want?

Craig: Katie, will you please go get Lucy back in here?
Katie: Yeah, if I were her, I would have slipped out the back already.
Craig: You're turning your granddaughter against you.
Lucinda: I don't think so. I don't think so. I think we have a warm relationship. It will only blossom when she spends a little time with me.
Craig: Okay, a, generally you're just a minor annoyance. But now you're beginning to get me mad.
Lucinda: Oh, well, that's a shame. Because I must say, I prefer you when you're remorseful. And I am making the phone call to Sierra.
Craig: How can you use the people you profess to love like that?
Lucinda: Go ahead, deflect the blame, darling, 'cause you're so good at it. All right?
Craig: You can have her for one week. One week!
Lucy: I am not going back to Montega.
Craig: No, sweetness, you're not going to Montega. But, just to avoid bothering your mother, we just have to compromise here a little bit.
Lucy: Compromise how?
Lucinda: Darling, I'd love you to spend a little time with me.
Lucy: Thank you, but I'm already settled in here with dad, and I'm happy here. I can walk to Oakdale Latin.
Lucinda: Oh? Walk? Walk in that little coat? With no stockings on? Oh, it's so cold. It's Illinois.
Lucy: Yeah, my coat is warm enough. I mean, it's not like I'm going to blow away without a limo. And I like it here with dad and aunt Katie and uncle Simon.
Craig: Well, how about a short visit. Way short.
Lucy: A day?
Lucinda: A month.
Craig: A week.
Lucy: Starting when?
Lucinda: Tonight.
Craig: Just one week? For me? You can get to really know your grand.
Lucy: A whole week?
Craig: Well, yeah. Just one week. She's got a nice house, and you'll be amazed what the cook can do with a pot of gruel.
[Lucinda laughs]
Lucinda: Come on, sweet thing. You and Auntie Katie mustn't imagine that I've entirely forgotten how to have some fun.
Lucy: Of course not. It's not that I don't like spending time with you, it's just --
Lucinda: Oh, you'll be begging to stay on after just one week. You watch. I'll -- I'll wait for you in the lobby.
Craig: No. Don't bother. I'm driving her myself.
Lucinda: Okay. But expeditiously. You don't want to have to have a cop escort. See you later, sweetheart.
[Lucinda laughs]
[Door closes]
Katie: Let me just tell you that it's never too early to start planning your escape. I have a fabulous idea. I'll be right back, okay?
Craig: Yeah, still, it's a new city. I know you like your Aunt Katie, but she's a flake. All right? And I shouldn't have left her in charge of you.
Lucy: You're busy. What? Now you're supposed to stop working because I'm here.

Katie: I'm back.
Craig: We're leaving.
Katie: I still can't believe that you could just let Lucy go like that.
Craig: The only consolation of taking her to Lucinda's is I'm hardly gonna be home for the next week anyway.
Katie: Where will you be?
Craig: At "The Intruder," trying to whip it back into shape.
Katie: Well, that works for me. Whenever Lucy needs a little break, I will take over. We'll have a great time.
Craig: I'm sure Lucy will love getting your phone calls.
Katie: Oh, I'm going to do more than call.
Craig: Oh, don't -- don't go out of your way.
Katie: I bought you a present.
Craig: With what?
Lucy: Oh, thanks, Aunt Katie. Look, daddy, gloves.
Katie: Not just any gloves. Driving gloves. So you can hop into one of Lucinda's many cars, drive off and escape.
Lucy: But I don't know how to drive.
Katie: Oh. Well, don't worry. I'll teach you. It'll be fun.
Lucy: You're the best.
Craig: Oh, you.

Hal: Ah, you look like hell.
Jack: Thanks.
Hal: Could've taken a personal day, you know.
Jack: You wouldn't know what to do without me. Besides, this way, I can worry about Carly and get some work done at the same time. Yes. Yes!
Hal: Good news?
Jack: Hear for yourself.
Simon: Hey, Jack, it's Simon.
I'm back in Oakdale, and I think I hit pay dirt in Paris.
I'll see you soon.
Lily: Think he heard something about Rose?
Jack: I hope so.
Holden: Have you guys decided whether or not these three disappearances are related?
Hal: We'll know more once Simon gets here.
Holden: Why don't you sit in on that meeting? I'll go check in on Molly.
Lily: Okay, I will. I will. And I do know somebody else who's gonna want to know this information.
Hal: Margo, I'm gonna be tied up for a bit.

Simon: Jack? Hey, sorry I couldn't get here sooner.
Jack: No sweat. Everything all right?
Simon: Yeah, I just went by "The Intruder" to bring Craig up to speed.
Jack: Since when does Montgomery take priority over the police, Simon?
Simon: Since he paid for my trip to Paris.
Jack: And the department appreciates the assist. But Craig won't be helping anyone if he flies to Paris and screws up this investigation before it starts.
Simon: Wait, wait, listen, between trying to handle his daughter and "The Intruder," he's got enough on his plate, it's okay. Do you mind if we get down to business?
Jack: Yes, I've got some people who are very interested in what you have to say.
[Jack and Simon join Hal, Lily and Paul in the Interrogation Room]
Lily: Simon, I'm so glad that you're here.
Paul: Heard you've got some news for us.
Lily: Yes, are you helping us find Rose after all?
Simon: Whoa, wait, wait a second, I --
Hal: Just start with whatever you've got on the limo, and from there, we'll move on to how each of the women was kidnapped --
Simon: Listen, maybe I wasn't clear in my message. Something's gotten mixed up in the translation.
Jack: What was the mix-up?
Simon: Well, I managed to find some clues when I went to Paris. But, look, I don't know where Carly is, or Rose or Emily, for that matter. I'm sorry.

Simon: First I went to the Georges Cinq Hotel. Carly had a reservation there, but she never checked in.
Jack: What about the fax she sent?
Simon: Well, there's no way to verify who sent it. It's a dead end. So I went to the limo company that she mentioned in the postcard.
Lily: What postcard? She sent a postcard?
Hal: When she got to Paris, she sent Parker a postcard. She said she was getting into a limo from the Cheval Volant Company.
Lily: That's great. That's good news.
Jack: Well, we found -- we found the postcard right before Simon left for Paris.
Lily: Found it where?
Jack: Barbara was keeping it safe for us. It took some convincing for her to surrender it, but yeah, it was our first big clue.
Simon: Well, the Cheval Volant limo company denied any knowledge of Carly Tenney. They claimed they never sent anyone to the airport to pick her up, and there is nothing corresponding to her arrival in the books.
Hal: So we're back to square one?
Simon: Not quite. I did some more digging and came up with something very interesting. One of the Cheval Volant limousines went missing for several hours that night, so I think it's a reasonable assumption that whoever picked Carly up from the airport is responsible for her disappearance.
Hal: So how do we prove that?
Paul: Well, it's been weeks since Carly arrived in Paris. I mean, even if we did find the limo in question, it's probably been cleaned a dozen times.
Jack: So we're right back where we started. There's no evidence to connect the limo to Carly going missing.
Simon: Maybe there is.
Jack: If you have any evidence linking that stolen limo to Carly, let's hear it.
Simon: Well, I contacted the security guy that you put me in touch with at Charles de Gaulle airport.
Hal: What did he get you?
Simon: Well, he clued me in to the surveillance cameras that are in the baggage and the pick-up area. If the limo driver waiting for Carly was waiting by his car, then he'd be on tape.
Hal: Well, good thinking.
Simon: All right, so I fished through the tapes ad came up with a photo with a guy holding a sign that read "Carly Tenney."
Paul: All right, let's see it.
[Simon holds up a photo of Phil Auster]
Jack: I knew it. I knew it. [grabs the picture] Looks much different, alive and kicking and dry as a bone, doesn't he, Paul?
Lily: Who is it?
Paul: That's Phil Auster. The man who attacked my mother.

Hal: Thanks for your help with this, Simon.
Simon: Not a problem. I'm sorry I couldn't be of more assistance.
Hal: Hey, you gave us a good place to start.
Lily: Look, I'll walk you out.

Katie: It's our men.
Lucy: Alleluia.
Katie: Julian you sure these guys are the cream of the crop?
Julian: I put a call out to every piece of prime male model in the region. I think you'll be pleased.
Lucy: These guys'll definitely ace your video.
Katie: Well, honey, great bodies are not just born. They are created. And don't you get any ideas, please.
Julian: He has a lot of local modeling experience.
Katie: Wow. He definitely has a great face. It's what's behind that matters. We cannot create a butt-buster workout without buns of steel, people.
Julian: So watch them in action. The guys are ready to go.
Dahlia: He's right. They're out there, lined up, ready to go. Shall we start?
Katie: Let's do this.
Dahlia: Okay. I'll start the music.
Katie: All right. Well, bachelor number one, front and center. Name, please?
Katie: Woo! All right. Bachelor number two.
Dancer #2: Trey Turner.
Katie: Trey Turner.

In the Hallway, Health Club

Julian: You're late. Did the agency send you?
Simon: What agency? Who are you?
Julian: Great voice. Too bad nobody will hear it. Now, go change before they call you.
Simon: Call me for -- call me -- hey, call me for what?
Julian: A review of your hindquarters. Now, move it. Out of those clothes and into some spandex. And make it snappy.

Health Club

Katie: How about some weights? Dahlia, do we have any free weights? And where's bachelor number three we should check that out.
Dahlia: I'll check with Julian.
Katie: Come on, guys. You can do more than that. Show me what you really got. Oh, what are you doing? Oh, whoa! No. I didn't really mean that. Put me down. No, really. Um, that's good. That's really good. You could put me down now. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, put me down. Thank you. It. I was the weight. That was good. I liked that. Very smart. Whoa, whoa. Okay, going on now? Oh. Oh, my god.
Simon: Will you get your eyes off my rear end?! Back off! Katie?
Katie: I thought you were in Paris.
Simon: And what is this? What is this? My Eiffel Tower welcome?
Katie: Welcome home, sweetheart.
Simon: Will you put down my wife? Now!
Katie: Okay, guys, seriously. Put me down, please. Thank you. Oh, it's so good to see you! Oh, hey, where are my manners? Trey, Mark, this is my husband, Simon Frasier. This is my crew. How did you find me?
Simon: Your "crew?" Rappers need a crew. Since when did you need a crew?
Katie: Since the buns of America are in my hands.
Simon: All right, okay, all right. Confusion's always been an integral part of our relationship, but what are you talking about?
Katie: Dahlia, should we tell him? We should tell you the secret, finally.
Dahlia: You know what, guys? Why don't you take a five? Lucy and I are going to go get a soda and give you two some privacy.
Katie: So, what do you think of my brand-new career?
Simon: As a free weight?
Katie: No, as an aerobics instructor. Those guys are for my video.
Simon: Your video -- what videos are you making?
Katie: An aerobic video. "Katie Frasier's All-New Butt-Bustin' Workout." Well, at least that's the working title, or something like "get the bod you want from the babe who can give it to you." I told you I was gonna be rich and famous.
Simon: Okay, okay, whoa. What does Dahlia have to do with all of this?
Katie: Well, she is part mentor, part backer. She's a huge fan of mine from my WOAK days.
Simon: A-ha, really? Right.
Katie: In fact, she approached me about teaching a couple aerobics classes, and I did. And then she said I was a natural in front of the camera. Don't be so doubting, please. With my brains, her money and those bodies, we are gonna make tons of money. We're gonna make so much money, we're gonna make Lucinda Walsh look like a bag lady.

Simon: Okay, I can see you're very psyched about this video. But are re that dahlia can deliver on everything she promises?
Katie: Well, are you sure she can't?
Simon: Okay. Pop quiz, Katie. Have you ever worked in a gym?
Katie: No.
Simon: Do you have your own syndicated television show?
Katie: Not yet.
Simon: Exercise books -- do you have any exercise books that you've written that I don't know about?
Katie: No, but that's a great idea.
Simon: Listen -- what I'm trying to say is that it's very unusual for someone to invest in a complete unknown.
Katie: "Unknown?" Did you know that my "Q" rating at WOAK was off the charts? I was the smile of Oakdale. And it is not easy smiling when you're reporting the news, let me tell you.
Simon: Okay, so this fan is investing everything she has in you and this project. Is this right?
Katie: Yeah. And we're gonna make gazillions. My concept has never been done before, and it's brilliant. It's like the laws of nature. Women wanna see how a guy's working out, and guys wanna watch me. You do the math.
Simon: I was never very good at numbers.
Katie: This is the best thing that's ever happened to me --
Simon: Uh.
Katie: Second best thing. And even if this is only sold in the Chicago area, we're gonna make tons of money.
Simon: And what's 's Dahlia's take?
Katie: It's all in the contract. Here, It'll tell you everything you wanna know.
Simon: All right. I bet what is not in here is where she gets her money from and whether she's done this before. I wanna know who Dahlia's backers are. Look, Katie, for all we know, she could be a complete nut job. You have to find out what her agenda is -- her whole agenda, not just the part that she wants to share with you.

Katie: I just really didn't expect this. Simon, I didn't expect you, of all people, to rain on my parade.
Simon: That's not what I'm doing. I'm not raining on any butt-busting parade here.
Katie: Oh, right, okay. "Did you check her out?" "Did you see how big her checkbook is?" "Did you give her the third degree?"
Simon: Well, if you'd filled me in a little earlier about what you were doing, it's -- look, I'm sorry. Okay. Look, don't worry. I'll check Dahlia out, and I'll let you know if I find anything that alarms me. Okay?
Katie: I can't believe this. You can't handle me bringing home the bacon.
Simon: Not only can I handle it, I can find a half dozen different ways I can cook it. I just wanna know if this horse is a pig.
Katie: Dahlia hasn't asked for one red cent.
Simon: That's what bothers me. Look, just don't go signing any more contracts or anything else until I do a little bit of a background check.
Katie: No, no, no, no, no. I am a strong, independent woman, mister. I don't need your male seal of approval.
Simon: Why are you being so stubborn about this? Testadora?
Katie: Why are you being so suspicious? This is my project, my idea, my video. Why are you doing this, Simon? Just don't ruin this for me, okay?

Katie: So if you can't accept the choices that I've made, you -- the guy whose middle name is "risk," who laughs in the face who goes to the ends of the earth to do anything --
Simon: Who adores and loves his wife.
Katie: If you can't take one little, teeny, tiny business risk, then you're not the guy that I thought you were.
Simon: Shut up and kiss me!
Katie: Mm, let's argue some more.
Simon: No more arguing.
Katie: Okay. I know that you're just looking out for me.
Simon: Always and forever.
Katie: So are you gonna support me in this video thing?
Simon: Yes, yes, of course I am. Of course. I just want you to keep those baby blues wide open.

In the Hallway, Health Club

Lucy: I've got more pictures.
Dahlia: Great, let's have a look.
Lucy: Maybe we should do it with Katie.
[Dahlia and Lucy walk in on Simon and Katie kissing]
Lucy: Hello, people. Impressionable minor present.
Simon: Oh.
Katie: Sorry. I guess we just kind of got carried away. Big surprise.
Lucy: I hate to break up the reunion, but I should be getting back. Grandmother will be expecting me.
Katie: Okay.
Dahlia: All right, well, why don't we just continue the auditions tomorrow? It's giving us some, you know, a chance to get some new recruits.
Katie: Great. Well, I will take Lucy back, and I'll meet you at The Lakeview.
Simon: Don't be long.
Katie: I won't. Lucy, let's get going.
Dahlia: Okay, see you tomorrow.
Katie: Oh, you'll close?
Dahlia: Yeah, sure, no problem.
Katie: Okay.
Simon: Katie's very excited about this whole video thing.
Dahlia: She's a natural in front of the camera.
Simon: I'm sure she is. She's very enthusiastic, as well. And I just hope this video delivers. I would hate to see Katie disappointed.
Dahlia: Your wife is a very smart woman, Mr. Frasier. I believe in Katie's talent. Don't you?

Katie: Billy, have you seen my Assistant?
Billy: And that would be?
Katie: Lucy--your cousin, my niece, cute, bouncy, sweet, prep-school type and currently late on the job.
Billy: Haven't seen her. Wait, your actually someone's boss?
Lucy: Sorry, Sorry, Sorry.
Katie: I'll ignore that comment. And you should know that if you were fifteen minutes late in the real world, they would dock your salary.
Lucy: I would have to be getting a salary first. You're my community service project, remember? I should get extra credit for escaping Grandma Lucinda.
Katie: Well, your lucky I'm a sympathetic boss.
Lucy: So, where are the hot cover guys?
Katie: Well, lucky for you, I've got a whole new stack of pictures.

Dahlia: So, find anything we like?
Katie: Well, there's nothing wrong with these guys. Yes, they've got beautiful faces. And, yes they've got gorgeous bodies.
Dahlia: Isn't that the point?
Lucy: I thought so.
Katie: Well, if you two would put your hormones in check for a second, you'd realize there was something missing.
Dahlia: I think I know what that is. Lucy, would you mind getting us some mineral water, please?
Lucy: Sure.
Dahlia: Thank you. Katie, I'm gonna ask you a question. And I'd like an honest answer.
Katie: Of course.
Dahlia: Is it that these guys aren't good enough or is it that they're too good looking for your husband?
Katie: Oh, come on, you've got to be kidding. You've seen my husband, right?
Dahlia: Just because Simon's beautiful doesn't mean he can't be jealous.
Katie: No, no,see, you don't understand. You have no idea what I went through to get him, what we went through to get to each other. I risked my life so many times, I don't even want to think about it. And I've done some things that any sane woman would not be proud of, but I got him.
Dahlia: Well, it sounds like true love.
Katie: Well, if it aint, the poets of the world need to redefine it.
Dahlia: Actually, I have to confess, I was hoping that he was jealous. That's a situation that I can fix.
Katie: Who said anything needs fixing?
Dahlia: Well, I get the impression that he disapproves of you doing this job.
Katie: And what gave you that idea?
Dahlia: He did. I mean, I can't think of another reason that he would say what he said.
Katie: Wait, wait, wait, wait. Back up. What exactly did Simon say?
Dahlia: That he expects you to fail.

Katie: Okay, see you must have misunderstood Simon. I told you that we have that running joke that I can't keep a job.
Dahlia: Well, you made a bet about that, right?
Katie: Yeah we did, but we were just fooling around. I can assure you that no one will be happier for me then Simon when I become a multimillionaire exercise guru. Well, except for maybe my brother who can then borrow money from me.
Dahlia: Well, you know your husband better then I do.
Katie: He would never want me to fail.
Dahlia: Good. So, let's get back to work. If we want this video to sell, you've got some young studs to find.

Katie: Nope. If I see one more set of chiseled abs, I'm gonna puke.
Dahlia: Your one of a kind, Katie.
Lucy: Tell me again why we don't want these guys?
Katie: Because nobody wants beauty and exercise tips from people who are already fit and fabulous. These genetic freaks come out of the womb perfect, with beautiful white teeth and perfectly chiseled abs. I want someone that the viewer can relate to.
Lucy: How 'bout this one?
Katie: No.
Lucy:: This one.
Katie: No.
Lucy: Him.
Katie: No. No,You guys--These guys are too California. Too perfect. Too--
Lucy: Katie.
Katie: No, Lucy, you don't understand. I don't want any of these guys. None of these guys are gonna--[Shrieking] Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Will somebody get that?[Shrieking].
Lisa: Oh, my goodness.
Dahlia: Oh, my God.
Katie: I am so sorry. I am such a klutz.
Lisa: No, you're a menace. You always have been and you always will be.
Dahlia: Do you have any idea how expensive this oufit is?
Katie: I'm so sorry. You can take it out of my first paycheck.
Lisa: Come with me. I'm gonna take you to the ladies' room.
Lucy: Dahlia seemed pretty upset. I hope she doesn't.
Katie: Oh, no, no. Don't hope. Please don't hope. I just lost my best chance at getting a real job and your Uncle Simon just won his bet.

Dahlia: You can stop apologizing. It was an accident.
Katie: Well, now the head shots are all ruined. Can it be that hard to find some real guys?
Dahlia: Well, if I haven't heard that from a couple of women sitting in a bar.
Lucy: Katie, look.
[Three Firefighters walk into Java]
Katie: I think I've died and gone to Heaven. They're here.
Dahlia: Who?
Katie: Those are real men.
Dahlia: An exercise video with firemen?
Katie: Well, I'm not talkin about a village people revival. But look at them. Muscles from working, not working out.
Dahlia: Ooh, you do have a point. But, I doubt we can get them to squeeze into spandex in between saving lives.
Katie: Well, you just leave that up to me. C'mon Luce. Excuse me. Hi. I hate to take up any of your valuable time, but I was wondering what you think about sweat? As a way of life.
Lisa: Katie, what are you talking about?
Katie: Wait, just one second. Oh, my, his arm is huge! Note to self--maybe after abs section, or maybe the buns, I'm lifted into the air like a feather. Close up on rippling, manly muscles.
Firefighter #1: Ma'am, can I have that back, please?
Katie: Yes, I'm sorry. If you'll let my Assistant and I walk you out? I have a concept for you that you're gonna love.