Katie: Let her go Simon. You're hurting her!
Simon: Hurting her? I barely even touched her!
Isaac: Come on, man. Take a breath. Take a breath.
Dahlia: Oh, God, keep him away from me!
Katie: What is wrong with you?
Simon: She knows exactly what she's doing! I just came here to stop her!
Isaac: Easy, easy.
Dahlia: Did you see what he did to me? Somebody call the police.
Katie: No, no! We can handle this ourselves, all right?
Dahlia: This is what I have been warning you about, Katie. Your husband is dangerous. He hurts people!

Simon: Look, Katie knows me. All right? You're the one she should be warned about! She's trying to destroy our marriage, Katie. I'm not going to let her do it.
Dahlia: Destroy you? What? By throwing a party in your honor? Obviously, the man is deranged!
Simon: Listen, that speech that she just said, okay, it was all from me. They were my words, not hers.

Katie: What?
Simon: This speech that she -- they were word for word what I said to Monique when we got married. She must have found an old wedding album or something.
Katie: Is that true?
Dahlia: What do you think? The problem is that he doesn't like hearing nice things about you. It infuriates him that you're successful and he's not.
Simon: No, that is not true, Katie. I could not be more proud of you.
Dahlia: Well, if he's so proud of you, then why is he destroying the biggest night of your life? Go ahead, Katie. Ask him.

Simon: Katie, please, get rid of her, for us. Just toss her out!
Dahlia: I'm not trying to hurt you, Katie.
Katie: Please -- stop it, both of you! I can't believe I am being forced to make a decision here. But if that's the way it has to be -- Dahlia, I'm going to have to ask you to leave.
Dahlia: You're sticking with him after everything you know?
Simon: That right, Dahlia. Go back and crawl back under that rock from where you came.
Dahlia: You are making the biggest mistake of your life. Once that money starts rolling in, this man will do everything to get it. He'll kill you, Katie. Don't you understand?!
Simon: I never --
Dahlia: Just like he killed my sister!
Simon: -- Killed anyone! But, Dahlia, if you keep this up, you will be the first.
Isaac: Okay, pal, why don't we get that cup of coffee?
Simon: What for?
Isaac: Because of the aroma, the flavor, all that fun stuff.That will also give Dahlia and Katie a chance to say good-bye.
Dahlia: You know that I was leaving town tonight anyway.But to be dismissed in front of all these people, I -- I thought you had more feeling for me than that.
Katie: I appreciate everything you've done for me. You believed in me -- or at least I thought you did. And doing that video was probably the most fun I've had in a long time. But you couldn't leave it at that. You had to hit on my husband. You had to bring up stories from his past --
Dahlia: They're not stories. He got away with murder. It's a documented fact. And you are in serious jeopardy.
Katie: Look, I am sorry that you lost your sister. I can't even imagine what that would be like. And I'm sure you miss her. But I had nothing to do with that. And I'm not going to let you ruin my marriage because of it.
Dahlia: You are a very talented young woman, and you have a very large and generous spirit. But you are also very naive. And that is a dangerous combination.
Katie: Are you going to be involved in the video anymore?
Dahlia: I'll have someone from the production company get in touch with you. He'll be your contact from this point on.
Katie: Great. Thanks.
Dahlia: You're on your own now, Katie. And God help you.
Katie: All right, everyone, I guess that means that the party's over. So thank you so much for coming, and stay pumped.

Java Underground, Bar

Katie: Are you all right?
Simon: Yeah, yeah.
Katie: How much did you have to drink tonight?
Simon: A bit -- more than usual.
Katie: I've never seen you like that. You really scared me.
Simon: Well, that's exactly what Dahlia wanted, right?
Katie: No, no, that's not what I meant. I meant I'm worried about you, like a wife worries about her husband.
Simon: Hey, I'll be fine. Things will get better now that Dahlia is out of the picture.
Katie: I'm sorry, Simon, but you can't blame everything that happened tonight on Dahlia. Something is eating away at you, and I want to know what it is.

Simon: Nothing else is bothering me, okay? Whatever problems we were having was caused by Dahlia.
Katie: Yeah, Dahlia was most of it. And I'm very glad she's out of our lives finally. But that still doesn't explain what happened here tonight.
Simon: She knew how to get to me. When I heard that toast, I just -- I lost control.
Katie: Yeah, I know. That's what I'm talking about. You lost it. I have never seen you like that before.
Simon: I don't know. I don't know. You know, I haven't been sleeping properly lately. Maybe it's finally catching up with me.
Katie: Oh, great. So you turn my party into a free-for-all, you embarrass me, maybe ruin my chances for success, and that's all I get? "Haven't been sleeping right"?
Simon: I'm sorry, Katie. Look, I know how important tonight was for you. And I'm sorry.
Katie: It was. But you know what's more important to me is that you and I be honest with each other.
Simon: I've tried to answer your questions as best as I can, all right? If that's not good enough for you, then--
Katie: Then what?
Simon: Then I'll leave. You know, maybe your night will get better from here on.
Katie: Wait. Simon, wait. Don't leave. Talk to me.
Simon: I think I've said and done enough for one night, Katie. I'll see you later.
Katie: Simon!
Lucy: Are you okay?
Katie: Yeah. Fine. I guess it's just married people arguing stuff. It's all part of the contract, right?
Margo: [ rushes in ] Hi! I'm sorry I'm late. Looks like the party's over. I thought this would be going on for hours.
Katie: Yeah, so did I.
Margo: What's the matter, honey?
Katie: Nothing. Simon.
Margo: What? Is he hurt? What happened?
Katie: No, no. He's just -- he's always questioning me what I'm doing, and then he won't explain to me what he's doing. Something's happened to him, Margo. And I don't know what to do about it.

Java Underground

Katie: Remember my supposed friend Dahlia?
Margo: Yeah, the woman who produced your video.
Katie: Right. Turns out that she is the sister to one of Simon's ex-wives.
Margo: I'm not gonna like this story, am I?
Katie: No. She gave us problems right from the start, for Simon and me. And tonight, she gave a toast. Turned out that the words to the toast were the same words that Simon said to her sister when they got married.
Margo: Ooh. I'm assuming Simon didn't appreciate that reference.
Katie: No. He threw a drink in her face, lunged at her, grabbed for her. If Isaac hadn't held him back, I don't know what he would've done.
Margo: All right, well, he got mad, and he lashed out. I'm not condoning his behavior. I just don't think that that necessarily means that there's something wrong with him.
Katie: Yeah, no, I know. It's just that he -- he's had plenty of time to cool down, and he's just not himself. In fact, he hasn't been himself for a really long time.
Margo: Katie, you've been asking him all along what's bothering him?
Katie: Of course, yeah.
Margo: And he usually says, nothing?
Katie: Yeah, it's like -- it's like he has this wall up around him, and he won't let anyone through.
Margo: Mm-hmm. And how long has this been going on?
Katie: Weeks.
Margo: Would you describe his behavior?
Katie: It's like he's tense, you know? And quiet. Like, you know, he has something in the back of his head, and he won't let it out.
Margo: All right. I know what's bothering him.
Katie: You do?
Margo: Yes, and I'm sorry, but I'm afraid it's my fault.

The Cottage

[Simon arrives at the cottage and finds an old blanket and curls up in a chair]
Dahlia: Need a hand?
Simon: Get out.
Dahlia: Oh. I'm sorry. I forgot. You work alone.
Simon: How'd you know I was here?
Dahlia: Well, I waited in the parking lot and then followed you. I figured you wouldn't last very much longer at that party.
Simon: Well, you really outdid yourself tonight, didn't you? Using my toast to Monique as a toast to Katie -- sick.
Dahlia: I'm glad you appreciated it.
Simon: I think Monique would've liked it, though. She was obviously the classier of the sisters.
Dahlia: You didn't know her. You used her, and then you destroyed her.
Simon: That is all in your sick, twisted little mind, Dahlia. Guilty I am of a lot of things -- murder? Nah. That's not my style.
Dahlia: You know what? You can't fool me. I know what you did, and I'll never let you forget it.
Simon: Think what you want. Do what you want. But Katie will never believe you, and that's what counts.
Dahlia: You know what? It's just so interesting. After all your marriages, you still don't know anything about women.
Simon: No, probably not. I do know a diseased woman when I see her, though.
Dahlia: You know what? Women want to think the best of their man. They want him to be kind and noble. And they'll do anything to protect that image. Until a tiny little seed of doubt is planted. And then, little by little, it all starts falling apart. See, she doesn't realize it yet, but Katie has already started to doubt you. And, soon, it will get worse. She'll start questioning everything you say, wanting an explanation for everything you do. You see, your marriage is contaminated, Simon. And soon it will be so toxic --
Simon: Shut up! And get out before I toss you out!
Dahlia: There it is! There's the Simon that I wanted to see. I want the whole world to see this Simon. A lying, thieving, murdering parasite!

Java Underground

Katie: I don't understand this. How could for Simon acting so crazy?
Margo: Because Simon was doing some work for the police department.
Katie: Yeah, I know. He told me. But it didn't seem like such a big deal.
Margo: Well, it was. In fact, I deputized him.
Katie: Officially?
Margo: And secretly.
Katie: Why?
Margo: Because Hal was missing. And Jack was kidnapped by his ex-wife. And I needed help. I needed someone that I could count on to keep a clear head in some very tricky situations.
Katie: Was he ever in danger?
Margo: Yes, he was. He saved Jack's life. And he helped me to keep Hal from hurting himself. He came through for us at every turn.
Katie: What, am I supposed to be proud?
Margo: Well, yes, you should be.
Katie: Well, I can't be, knowing that that's what changed him.
Margo: Katie, police work is hard. You know that. It takes an emotional toll on everyone that's involved. And your husband -- he came through very well for us. But I'm sorry, honey. I didn't mean to hurt you in any way.
Katie: I just wish Simon could have told me the truth. And it makes me feel really weird that you encouraged him to keep secrets from me.
Margo: No. I ordered him to.
Katie: Is that really necessary?
Margo: Yes, it was, Katie, to protect you from yourself. I was afraid that if you got too involved, you'd -- you'd end up getting hurt.
Katie: Oh, come on, have a little faith in me. I'm not some little kid who can't handle the truth.
Margo: No, you're not. But, Katie, you do have a tendency to leap into situations before you know what's going on. And the job -- I couldn't chance that.
Katie: All right, what if the roles were reversed? What if it was Tom who was in danger, and I didn't share that with you?
Margo: I'm sorry. I had my reasons.
Katie: To put my husband's life in danger? To stress him out beyond belief so I don't even recognize him anymore? Those don't sound like good reasons to me.
Margo: Sorry you feel that way.
Katie: But not sorry you did it. All right, I gotta go find Simon now and tell him everything's okay.

The Cottage

Simon: I am not what's wrong in your life, Dahlia. You -- you are what's very, very wrong. I suggest you get help before you do something you will really regret.
Dahlia: Well, you know what? I do need help. Help getting revenge for what you did to my sister. You see, that's why I'm here. That's why I made your little Katie into a star.
Simon: What are you talking about?
Dahlia: You see, those videos are gonna make her into a rich woman. And when that day comes, you're gonna say to yourself what you always say -- "if something happens to my wife, I get all that money."
Simon: Oh, it's confirmed. You're insane.
Dahlia: You know what? You won't be able to help yourself. She'll start getting on your nerves, asking one too many questions. And then you're gonna -- you're gonna know exactly what you have to do. See, this time, though, you're gonna try to make it look like an accident. You know, like you always do. Like you did with Monique. But this time, it will be different. Because I will be watching you. And, finally, you will get what you deserve.
Simon: Well, I actually feel really sorry for you. You're a lot sicker than I thought.
Dahlia: Oh, yeah, I'm the sick one in this room. By the way, I'm gonna mail these to Katie as soon as I get back to Chicago.
Simon: What are they? Love letters?
Dahlia: Actually, it's the complete account of your arrest for my sister's murder, your silly little alibis, your evasive answers. I'm sure that your next victim will enjoy reading them.
Simon: Give me those!
Dahlia: I don't think so!
Simon: I will not have you upsetting Katie with this trash!
Dahlia: Really? Respected journalists, Simon. And every one of them thought you did it.
Simon: I am warning you --
Dahlia: Oh, you're warning me? Really? Just like you did to Monique? Kate is gonna know the truth about you. The whole world is gonna know the truth.
Simon: Dahlia! [Dahlia leaves and Simon runs out after her] Dahlia!

Katie: Simon? Are you here? Simon!
[Simon comes running in the front door]
Simon: Hey there.
Katie: Hey.
Simon: You know, you just can't come in here and start folding blankets. That kind of behavior got goldilocks in a whole lot of trouble.
Katie: Yeah, well, I am going to be living here, so I want the place to look nice.
Simon: Are you all right?
Katie: Yeah. You?
Simon: Fine. Well, except for making a fool of myself and ruining your party.
Katie: No, no, don't, Simon, please. Please, don't apologize. I talked to Margo.
Simon: About what?
Katie: About you and what you've been doing. How you've been risking your life with the police department.
Simon: It's nothing.
Katie: I feel terrible. All that pressure, and you couldn't even talk to me about it.
Simon: I really wanted to tell you, Katie. But I had no choice, you know?
Katie: I know. I understand now. And I'm sorry. I am so sorry. I didn't know. And I'm so sorry that I couldn't help you with that. Oh, your heart is pounding. Where have you been?
Simon: Well, Dahlia was here. I -- I ran after her, chased her back to her car.
Katie: What did she want?
Simon: To antagonize me for the last time.
Katie: What did she say?
Simon: You don't want to know. In fact, I'm pretty glad you didn't hear what she had to say. She's out of her skull, that woman.
Katie: Yeah, and she's out of our lives now, okay? So why are we even talking about her?
Simon: We're not. We're not. She can't hurt us anymore, Katie. It's over.

Katie: Bonjour! [talking to her cardboard cut out] Video Katie. Toutes mes felicitations! That means "congratulations" in French. You and I are billionaires. Oh, what a beautiful color! I think I shall make a paper flower. Snickers! Here! Snicker doodle -- What's wrong, my sweet bunny? Oh. I'm sorry. You must be starving! Here. Here, try some of this. I know it's a little wilted but -- try the fennel. You might like it.
Simon: I want the real green stuff!
Katie: You're not Snickers. Simon!
[Katie laughing]
Simon: Money, Katie. I want your money. [Katie shrieks]
Katie: No! No, Simon, no! Please! Please don't. Stop it! Please, Simon, no! No, Simon!
[Katie screams and wakes up in the cottage next to Simon]
Simon: Hey, hey. Sweetheart --
Katie: Oh. Oh, I had the worst dream.

Accident Scene

Cop: Detective --
Margo: What'd you drag me down here for? This is just a car hits a ditch, and the driver takes a hike for help.
Cop: That's what we thought, too, until we saw the tracks.
Margo: What tracks?
Cop: Looks like somebody was dragged out of here. A woman's purse and credit cards was on the seat.
Margo: Okay, bag 'em. Car keys?
Cop: No.
Margo: All right, you're off the hook for dragging me away from a hospital visit. Got a car registration? Fairway car rental. Dahlia Ventura?
Cop: I remember the name. That's why I thought you might want to come down here personally. Am I right?
Margo: You're right. You're right. You're right on the money.

The Cottage

Katie: I had tons of money, you were there, except for you were Snickers.
Simon: Snickers? What, I was some randy rabbit?
Katie: Well, no, you were you, but only after I yanked your head off.
Simon: Ouch. So what happened after you beheaded me?
Katie: I'm not sure.
Simon: Baby, listen to me. Look at me. Something made you yell out.
Katie: Well, I'm sure you didn't mean to hurt me. You weren't choking me. You were choking the cardboard cutout of me. And you didn't get to me or my money --
Simon: Money. So I wanted your money?
Katie: I was cutting out a paper flower. I was gonna autograph it or something. And it -- it was this red, very deep, like, wine, crimson color --
Simon: Crimson color. Ah, and what's the name of the video production company?
Katie: Crimson Dahlia.
Simon: Crimson Dahlia.
Katie: Oh. Weird.
Simon: She got to you, Katie. Dahlia got right into your subconscious. And -- and no wonder, after the way I blew up at the party the other night. And again, I'm sorry I freaked out. But don't you see? In your dream, Dahlia was right. She said that somehow I would hurt you for your money.
Katie: No, don't say that, Simon. Don't ever say that again. I love you so much, and I am not afraid that you will hurt me. Okay? I don't care about the stupid party. I care about you and us. Nothing else matters. Thank goodness Dahlia is leaving town. And if I would've know the lengths that she would go to hurt you, I would've had her go out of town when she first got here.
Simon: Forget about Dahlia. Let's forget about Dahlia. What matters is us. What matters is this. And what matters is.

Katie: I have a feeling about this cottage. Remember when I told you that objects hold a certain vibration to them or a feeling?
Simon: So our cottage is experiencing some kind of karmic transmutation?
Katie: You remembered that?
Simon: Yeah. I remember every ridiculous, crazy, messed up thing you've ever said.
Katie: Really?
Simon: Yes.
Katie: Well, I think our little cottage would be lonely if we left it, so let's stay here tonight.
Simon: Stay here?
Katie: Yeah.
Simon: On the floor all night?
Katie: Hey, it was good enough --
Simon: Yeah.
Katie: It'll be fine.I have some extra blankets in the car, and I think maybe even a pillow or two. Come on. I want our cottage to know that we belong to it now that it's our home, and it's our safe place where nothing bad can happen, and we don't have to worry about a thing.
Simon: Yeah, well, I worry that the ceiling's going to fall in, and the windows are going to fall out.
Katie: Oh, come on. You just have to know how to open them right. They're fine.
[Katie yells]
Simon: Katie -- be careful. I do not want you getting hurt.
Katie: I know. I know.

Accident Scene

Margo: Okay, let's get this thing out of here before it causes a real accident and somebody gets um, you know, as long as I'm here, I'm gonna have forensics go over the whole thing just in case. By that time, ms. Ventura I'm sure will be at the station whining that the cops have stolen her car. Grady, will you be a buddy and check through the woods one more time?
Cop: The tow truck's on the way. How do you want me to report this?
Margo: Um, log it as an abandoned car. Nothing more for right now. I'll take care of it in the morning. Oh, Katie, Katie, Katie -- please don't let any of this have anything to do with you.

The Cottage

Simon: A little bit of atmosphere.
Katie: Hmm. Oh, I love it here.
Simon: I'm going to make this cottage a real home, Katie -- something solid.
Katie: Like you.
Simon: Like my love for you.
Katie: Aw. And I'm going to make it so beautiful.
Simon: Like you.
Katie: Good one.
Simon: Well, if anyone can do that, you can. You know, you were saying before about this house having feelings --
Katie: Mm-hmm.
Simon: I think it's saying to us that we're going to be okay, and by staying here we're like bonding with it, letting it know that it belongs to us.
Katie: Do you feel how enchanted it is? [ sighs ] This is our safe place -- where nothing bad can happen. Our very own safe place.

[Simon walks into the cottage and whistles to the sight of Katie measuring for curtains]
Katie: Ah, see? I told you my workout worked.
Simon: Ooh, yes, it does. As long as this doesn't become Katie Frasier's window bustin' workout.
Katie: No, this is Katie making curtains.
Simon: Oh. Oh, I'm having Bert's Garage flashbacks.
Katie: Oh, no, no. These will be much better. Don't worry. You were so right.
Simon: Careful! Take an eye out.
Katie: You were so right about this cottage. With us fixing it up, it's gonna change everything. We'll look at those curtains and the walls and the floor, and we'll know that we made this happen. It's our own little love shack.
Simon: You are amazing. Do you know that?
Katie: Am I?
Simon: Yes, you are. And I am so proud of you.
Katie: Are you?
Simon: Yes. I think that I kind of got lost over the last couple of weeks.You know, I was so angry at Dahlia.
Katie: Ah, ah, ah -- no. Thou shalt not say the "D" word in the love shack.
Simon: Lips are sealed. No "D" word. But you are a star, Katie. And I'm sorry that I didn't say that, and I'm sorry for wrecking your party.
Katie: You're forgiven. Okay?
Simon: Oh, I have to leave.
Katie: No!
Simon: Yes. I have to go apologize to Isaac and Lisa.
Katie: No, no, no. I wanted to go get our wedding gifts. I have this desperate need to blend something.
Simon: Oh -- we'll blend something. Believe you. Later.
Katie: I'm scared. [Simon leaves] Window busting. Hey, there is no reason that Katie Frasier cannot have her own home line. Yes. No, lifestyle line. Lifestyle line -- [pulls out a tape recorder and dictates notes] the Katie Frasier lifestyle line. With a cookbook. A whole chapter dedicated to blenders. This is good. Okay. "Window Buster." "Home Buster." No. God, that sounds like "homewrecker." Um -- "fixer-upper." No. "Homebody." Yes, that's good. Okay, I can just see it now. Me, muscles, hard hats. [Knock at door] Margo! Oh, hey, you're just in time. Okay, listen to this. Picture this -- me, cargo pants, but fitted, low on the hips. One of those belts with the hammer in it. And half a dozen construction guys, no shirts. Maybe --
Margo: Katie.
Katie: Some tank tops or something.
Margo: Katie, Katie.
Katie: Hey, wait. How'd you find me here?
Margo: Lucy told me.
Katie: Oh. I'm sorry I haven't called you yet about it. I'm going -- I was going to. We're gonna have, like, an open house as soon as we get everything fixed up, but we just don't --
Margo: Katie, it's not a social call. I came to talk to you about Simon and Dahlia Ventura -- and this. [ Margo shows Katie one of the incriminating newspaper headlines that she found at the accident scene ]

Java Underground

Simon: Hey, Lisa --
Lisa: Yeah, yeah, hi.
Simon: I really wanted to -- so are you mad at me, too?
Isaac: You had yourself a night. It happens.
Simon: Look, it shouldn't have happened. And it's not going to happen again. I'm really very sorry.
Isaac: It's cool. Okay? You and Katie all right?
Simon: Ah, we're good. We're good. And Dahlia's gone, never to return.
Isaac: How'd you manage that?
Simon: Well, let's just say that Dahlia's no longer a problem.

The Cottage

Katie: I've seen this before. Simon and I talked about it.
Margo: So the fact that Dahlia had it in her car --
Katie: Dahlia has issues.
Margo: What kinds of issues?
Katie: Well, how would you feel if your star, the person that you had just dumped megatons of publicity on, was married to someone who has a P.R. problem? She was just trying to protect me too much, and Simon didn't really like it.
Margo: Well, I could see that.
Katie: But last night, we worked everything out.
Margo: When?
Katie: At -- is there a problem, Margo? I mean, what's -- did Dahlia come to you with that? Because she promised me that she would just let this go.
Margo: Dahlia's rented car was found about a mile from here. It was abandoned on the side of the road. The door was open, keys were missing, and her purse was on the ground.
Katie: Was she in an accident?
Margo: We don't know exactly what happened. But there was signs of struggle.
Katie: What, like a carjacking?
Margo: Katie, generally, a carjacking results in the car being stolen, not just abandoned.
Katie: You know, I told her to park in the garage. She's been staying at The Lakeview. And she keeps insisting on parking out front because she says the attendants are too slow. They probably just stole it and brought it out here to strip it.
Margo: No, probably not. Because they left her purse with a wallet full of cash and credit cards.
Katie: All right. I'm just gonna call her on her cell. I'm sure we can figure this all out. She'll answer it. She always does, even in restaurants and meetings. [ takes out her cell phone and calls Dahlia ] I got her voicemail. I didn't even know she had voicemail. All right, I'll just call Crimson Dahlia. That's her production company. She should definitely be there. Hey, it's Katie. Listen, can I talk to Dahlia? Oh, yeah, okay. Um -- have her call me. The office hasn't heard from her.
Margo: Katie, did you or Simon see Dahlia after the party last night?

Java Underground

Isaac: I'm glad that you and Katie worked things out. You've got a lot going -- the house and that video thing -- which, by the way, I think is gonna be a major hit.
Simon: Yeah, no, I hope so. But, you know if it doesn't work out whatever. I mean, we still got each other, right?
Lisa: There's a man who has his priorities in order.
Simon: Lisa, what I was trying to say -- I'm so sorry about last night --
Lisa: Oh, don't apologize. You were doing something -- taking up for the one you love, unlike Isaac, who just let Bonnie go without a word.
Isaac: That's nice, Lisa. Just spread my business all over town --
Lisa: All right, honey, I will.
Isaac: Women -- they stick together.
Simon: Whoa, what happened?
Isaac: You know, planes? Bonnie took one, straight to Scotland, I guess. Or should I say Duchess MacLaren has returned to her roots.
Simon: What, is she marrying this guy?
Isaac: If that's what it takes. I'm definitely not going to come between a woman and her tiara. That's what she wants --
Simon: Well, what do you want?
Isaac: Me.
Simon: No, no, yeah, you. What do you want?
Isaac: What are we on "Oprah" here or what?
Simon: It's just a question.
Isaac: That I'm not gonna answer.
Simon: Why? Oh, come on. Don't be gutless.
Isaac: Gutless? That's nice. Mr. Disrespect his lady in front of the whole town is gonna give me love life advice?
Simon: I apologized for that. We're moving on.
Isaac: Oh, that's nice.
Simon: Come on, don't be stupid, about this. If you like this girl --
Isaac: Okay, look. Now that's the second time today somebody's called me stupid --
Simon: Then maybe you start to listen. Look, all I'm saying is that if I'd let Katie walk away -- she'd be gone. Just like Bonnie.

The Cottage

Katie: Where did Dahlia go after the party? I don't know, you'd have to ask her.
Margo: I didn't ask about Dahlia. I asked about you and Simon.
Katie: Yeah, I told you. We slept at the cottage last night.
Margo: Did you or Simon see Dahlia after the party last night? Katie --
Katie: No. Actually, we didn't see her.
Margo: You want to try again?
Katie: Okay, yeah, she came by the cottage to talk to Simon.
Margo: Did you see her?
Katie: No, I -- she left before I got home.
Margo: Did Simon tell you what they talked about?
Katie: Yeah, just more of the same.
Margo: So they just continued the argument that they started at the party --
Katie: You know what? It wasn't like that. Dahlia was just really resentful because I wouldn't take her side against my own husband's you know, about him being a liability PR-wise. And so -- at the party she actually offered to back out of our deal. You know, she said that she would finish the launch, and I could buy her out of her contract and go on without her. So I happily agreed to that, and, obviously she wasn't too happy about it, and she expressed that to him.
Margo: Hmm, so Simon won.
Katie: Right.
Margo: Where is Simon?
Katie: Oh, he's just running errands.
Margo: What errands?
Katie: I don't know. My husband says he's gonna run errands, I don't give him the third degree.
Margo: Yes, knowing you, you do.
Katie: Well, that's just because you had him keeping secrets from me. But he's not doing that anymore.
Margo: So, Katie, where is he?
Katie: Would you like me to have him call you when he gets home?
Margo: Yes, that would be very nice.
Katie: Fabulous. Well, if you'll excuse me. I have some curtains to make.
[ Margo laughs ]

Java Underground

Simon: You remember Bruno?
Isaac: Ah, Mr. Kiss-Me-I'm-Italian? Who could ever forget Bruno?
Simon: Yeah, that's the one. Katie goes away to St. Marten with him for a weekend, right? Now, I could've let it go. She wants to be with him, fine. I'm done. The thing is, Katie was only trying to provoke me into a reaction about how I felt about her.
Isaac: And that's the female way. They don't get what they want, they start playing games. I'm not playin' any games.
Simon: Then you're not gonna win.
Isaac: Fine.
Simon: Is it?
Isaac: Let me tell you somethin', brother. They get you down on your knees, you ain't never getting up.
Simon: Look, she is down there with you. That's what it's all about. Come on, Isaac. Are you really willing to let Bonnie go?

Isaac: If Bonnie wants a fairy tale, she went to the right place. Me? I live in the real world.
Simon: In the real world, yeah right here, all by yourself.
Isaac: Not for long, friend. Not for long.
Simon: Look, if that's what you want, fine. But I kinda gathered that you wanted more out of life than that.
Isaac: It takes two.
Simon: Well, just don't count her out. That's all I'm saying.
[Katie comes rushing in the front door]
Katie: Oh, Simon! I'm so glad I found you. We've gotta go. Sorry, Isaac --
Simon: What's going on?
Katie: I don't have time to explain. Just trust me. You've gotta get out of here. Go.
Simon: Whoa.
Katie: I don't have time to explain, Simon. Let's go.
Simon: I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what's going on.
Katie: All right, fine. Dahlia is missing. Her car was found abandoned near our cottage. And Margo wants to interrogate you, now.
Simon: What?
Margo: You heard her. You know, not only should I haul you in for lying to a police officer, but Katie -- you ran a red light at Pinewood.

Simon: It's alright, honey, but I don't need to hide anything from Margo.She's gonna find out the whole story sooner or later.
Katie: Yeah, well, I kinda already filled her in.
Simon: All right. I got loaded, I lost my cool. I lunged at Dahlia, threw a drink in her face. If it wasn't for Katie --
Katie: You were upset.
Simon: Yeah, I was upset.
Katie: Everybody gets that way. You understand, right?
Margo: Right.
Katie: See? She understands. So stop acting like you're guilty of some crime or something.
Simon: I'm not. I'm just being cooperative. So what else do you want to know?
Margo: Well, Katie gave me sort of a general idea of what happened between you and Dahlia. But if you could fill me in on some details.
Simon: Yeah. Why?
Margo: Dahlia's car was found abandoned.
Simon: Oh.
Katie: So she had car trouble.
Margo: The door was open, the keys were missing. Her purse was there, and no one's heard from her since.
Simon: Okay. So where do you want me to start?
Margo: It's your choice.
Simon: Well, how about when I threatened to kill her?

Simon: All right, look, it was an empty threat, okay, said in the heat of the moment. Just as she was about to leave, Dahlia pulls out these -- these newspaper articles about her sister's murder and my supposed part. She threatened to send them to Katie, and the thought of that just -- just drove me up the wall.
Katie: But I had already seen them.
Margo: All right, all right. Now you say "your supposed part in it." What exactly do you mean by that?
Simon: All right. The newspaper articles claimed that I married Monique for her money -- true. And that I had done it before. Hey, that's also true. But I had nothing to do with her death, all right, no matter how many reporters were clamoring for my head.
Margo: All right. Why don't you just tell me everything that happened after Dahlia threatened to show the papers to Katie?
Simon: All right. I asked her to give them to me. She refused. So I grabbed for them, and she ran.
Margo: And did you follow her?
Simon: Yeah, I did, but I never caught up to her. She made it to her car, and that's the last I ever saw of her.
Margo: Yeah, you and everybody else.
Katie: Just because Dahlia disappeared, doesn't mean that Simon had anything to do with it.
Margo: I didn't say that it did.
Katie: Margo, we are sisters. We're family. Simon has worked for you. He worked for your department.
Margo: Katie, I've got a job to do, and it entails asking question . I didn't think I was going to enjoy it. I didn't say I'd formed any judgments here.
Simon: All right, listen, Margo, when you found the car, were the newspaper articles -- I don't know, on the seat in plain view where anyone could see them?
Margo: Most of them were. But some had, actually, blown out of the car by the time we got there.
Simon: All right. And does anything about that strike you as being suspicious?
Margo: No, not particularly. You?
Simon: Yeah. Well, knowing Dahlia, I'd say she's trying to set me up.

Katie: Simon's right. Dahlia is trying to set him up, and you can't let her get away with it.
Margo: Meaning?
Katie: Meaning ignore the whole thing. She is gonna wait for some huge investigation. When it doesn't happen, this will all go away.
Margo: Oh, Katie, that's not how it works.
Katie: Then how does it work?
Margo: I sit on Dahlia's car for 24 hours. If she shows up again, fine. If not, it becomes a missing persons case.
Katie: Yeah, and Simon becomes a suspect.
Margo: Well, given the circumstances of last night, I can't very well just let him go. I have to bring him in for some sort of formal questioning.
Simon: All right, that's fine. Okay. Thanks. Thanks, Margo.
Margo: Listen, Katie, I just --
Katie: You know, we're done here.
Margo: All right, great. We're done. If that's the way you want to do it, fine. I'll talk to you later.
Katie: "Thanks, Margo"? What was that?
Simon: Yeah, well, for keeping me informed. I don't know. For letting us know what's going on.
Katie: For accusing you of murder.
Simon: She didn't do that, all right? And she's not going to.
Katie: My own sister -- oh, if I had something on Tom.
Simon: Listen, listen. Dahlia can set me up all she likes, all right? But she's not gonna succeed, because I am innocent. You believe that I'm innocent, right?
Katie: Yeah, of course.
Simon: Then that's all that matters.
Katie: That is so easy for you to say. 'Cause you're not the one who's gonna be having to look at you through a window with a phone attached to it. "Put your hand up to the glass, Simon. Let me feel the warmth."
Simon: Oh, come on.
Katie: It makes me crazy. I can't even think about it.
Simon: It's not gonna happen. Listen, you know what we should do right now, honey?
Katie: What?
Simon: We should go to the cottage, back to our home, all right? This will all be over so soon.
Katie: Will it?
Simon: Yes, I promise. Okay? Let's get out of here.
Katie: Okay.
Lisa: Something on your mind?
Isaac: Some guys have all the luck.

The Cottage

Simon: Careful, careful.
Katie: I got it.
Katie: Simon, it's freezing in here.
Simon: Don't worry. We're gonna warm it up sooner or later.
Katie: Let's build a fire. It will be so romantic and relaxing.
Simon: Well, relaxation is good. Okay. All right, this could take a while. You find some matches, and I'll go and get wood.
Katie: All right.
[ Katie looks for matches in Simon's bag, but finds Dahlia's car keys instead ]

Oakdale Police Department

Margo: Hey, anything on the Dahlia Ventura case?
Cop: We were out all morning, detective. And we didn't find a thing.
Margo: Nothing on the keys?
Cop: Sorry.

Isaac: But if she is, and I don't call, we'll both know I blew it.
Simon: Hey, Isaac? You have a minute?
Isaac: Sure. Yeah, What's up?
Simon: Look, has Dahlia been back in here since the launch party at all?
Isaac: No. But you said she left town and why would you want to see her anyway. The other night, you were out for her blood.
Simon: Yeah, and I wish I had finished the job. Look, if she calls, shows up, if you know anyone whose seen her--
Isaac: Anything having to do with Dahlia and Oakdale, you wanna know about.
Simon: Exactly. Great. Thanks. Look, I've got some more checking to do. Sorry for interrupting your phone call.
Isaac: Oh, no, I was receiving a call. It was nothing.Simon: Alright. Take care.
Isaac: Hi, yes, I'm calling from the United States. I was wondering if you had listings for castles? Castle MacLaren. Okay. Okay. I know you're speaking english but please slow down and repeat that. I'm sorry but we're gonna have to pick this up later. Katie?
Katie: Am I that obvious?
Isaac: Only you would show up in a disguise trying to look inconspicuous in something like this.
Katie: Have you seen Simon?
Isaac: Yes.
Katie: When?
Isaac: Just a minute ago.
Katie: Did he say where he was going?
Isaac: No
Katie: Oh--Ah! I've lose him
Isaac: Message?
Katie: Huh?
Isaac: I know that when I see him again, your gonna want me to tell him something. So, message?
Katie: No, No, No, No. He can't know that I'm following him.
Isaac: Oh, hold on. Wait a minute. I let Simon go cause he's my boy. But you, I'm pumping for answers. What is going on with the two of you?
Katie: Who said anything was going on?
Isaac: Katie, you are stalking your own husband. I think that deserves at least a passing comment.

Katie: Look, it's not that I don't trust you, it's just what's going between Simon and me -- I can't really be going around telling people about.
Isaac: Okay, fine.
Katie: But I'm dying to tell someone.Up until now, the only person I can confide in is Snickers, and she can't talk back.
Isaac: Snickers?
Katie: Well, nonperson rabbit.
Isaac: It's a rabbit -- okay. What about Margo, I mean, she is your sister.
Katie: Yeah, well, for reasons that will become painfully obvious, that option totally bites. And Craig is busy on his mission finding Carly, so that doesn't work either.
Isaac: Katie? Katie!
Katie: What?
Isaac: I'm here. I'm here. Okay. I know I'm not your first choice, or the perfect choice, but I do subscribe to the bartender's code of confidentiality. Anything you have to say begins and ends right here.
Katie: Okay. In that case, Simon's in major trouble, the worst trouble he could possibly be in.

Katie: Isaac, I can count the major successes that I've had in my life on one hand. That is why I wasn't gonna let anything ruin my new video project. Then I come to find out that one of Simon's many ex-wives died on him.
Isaac: That's rough.
Katie: Yeah. Well, that's not even the half of it. Fast forward to me being interviewed by "Self" magazine. The reporter drops this major bomb -- "how does it feel to be married to a murder suspect?"
Isaac: Wait, the ex-wife died because Simon--
Katie: Yep.
Isaac: But Simon's no killer.
Katie: Of course not. But the ex-wife died under some very unusual circumstances. And Simon neglected to tell me that.
Isaac: But when you asked him about it, didn't Simon say he didn't kill her?
Katie: Yeah, of course, absolutely. And I believe him. But then I come to find out that the reason that Dahlia's here is not because she's some fairy godmother to me, it's because she turns out to be the dead woman's sister.
Isaac: Which she didn't mention?
Katie: Exactly. The only reason she to Oakdale was to get revenge against Simon.
Isaac: I'm not sure how Dahlia's setting you up with this video project gets her revenge.
Katie: Yeah, I didn't understand it either. Her plan was, either "A," she makes me independently wealthy so I can leave him and live on my own, or "B," she makes me independently wealthy so that he tries to kill me for my money, and she makes her point.
Isaac: Her point being that Simon, the murdering gigolo, strikes again?
Katie: Right. You're good at this.
Isaac: Yeah, you know what I think? Stay as far away from Dahlia as possible.
Katie: Well, that wouldn't be too hard, seeing as she has seemed to have disappeared. The police found her car in the woods, and Simon was the last person to see her. He's going to be the prime suspect because they got in the fight that night.
Isaac: It's obvious to me that Dahlia has an agenda, okay? She probably ditched her own car, flew off to Bermuda or somewhere, only to frame Simon. Let me ask you this. Why would Simon come in here, asking me questions about Dahlia's whereabouts? To cover his tracks? To look concerned? I doubt it.
Katie: Right. But the other loose end is that I found Dahlia's car keys in Simon's bag.
Isaac: Oh.
Katie: Right. I mean, what am I going to do? What can I say about those stupid keys? How am I supposed to even bring it up without sounding like I'm accusing him of murdering Dahlia?
Isaac: Okay, okay I think you're getting ahead of yourself, Katie. Just ask him. I mean, there's got to be a perfectly logical explanation why he had those keys.
Katie: All right. I guess I'm just afraid of what that reason might be.
Isaac: Look, I don't know the ins and outs of how you and Simon got together. But I do know that you know the man you married.
Katie: I should just trust that?
Isaac: Call him -- now.

Katie: Oh! Maybe I don't want to know why Simon had Dahlia's keys because I don't want to hear him tell me that she set them in his bag to set him up.
Isaac: Well, maybe that's the truth.
Katie: Yeah, well, how am I ever going to know for sure?
Isaac: There's another way you could find out. You could test him.
Katie: How?
Isaac: Let's say it's a foregone conclusion that Dahlia planted the keys in the bag.
Katie: Okay.
Isaac: Okay. Then if it's a setup, the only question is, what will Simon want to do in response?
Katie: Right. So I ask him what he wants to do about the keys instead of asking him, "where did you get these?"
Isaac: Exactly. See, I don't think Simon has anything to hide. I'm sure he'll probably say, "you know what? Take the keys to Margo as soon as possible."
Katie: And what if he doesn't?
Isaac: Why is it that I trust your husband more than you do?
Katie: Well, you're not married to him. Simon has his secrets.
Simon: Katie? I've been looking all over for you. Hey, Isaac.
Isaac: Hey. I've got some things to take care of.
Simon: Okay. How're you doing?
Katie: Not good. Actually, you know what? I should just cut to the chase. Recognize these?
Simon: Well, judging from what the logo says -- Crimson Dahlia -- they must be Dahlia's car keys
. Katie: Right. I was looking for matches in your bag, and I found them. What I'm dying to know is how they got there?
Simon: Well, Dahlia's good, I'll give her that. Look, she must have planted them there, right?
Katie: Right, to set you up.
Simon: You act like you knew I was gonna say that.
Katie: Well, I did, and I think that you're right. Dahlia's probably off laughing somewhere, thinking about how she set you up for her disappearance.
Simon: Exactly. Exactly, right.
Katie: Exactly. So what do we do with the keys? Margo's been really cool about this. We should probably just turn them into her.
Simon: No way. No way. Not on your life.

Katie: I don't get it, Simon. Why wouldn't you want to turn the keys into Margo?
Simon: Because I want to handle this.
Katie: Yeah, but we need to --
Simon: No, I don't want -- I don't want the police involved.
Katie: Why not?
Simon: All right, look, Dahlia is having us on, okay? She knows that the police are gonna have to investigate any suspicious disappearance. She also knows that on the face of it, the police might think that there's no good reason that I should have those car keys, all right? If the law gets involved now and this whole thing explodes into a huge mess, and I'm the fall guy. It's gonna get totally out of control.
Katie: Okay.
Simon: Okay. So can I have them? Are you all right?
Katie: What are you going to do with them?
Simon: I'm gonna make them disappear. Thank you.
Katie: For what?
Simon: For trusting me. [ Simon leaves ]
Isaac: Well, that looked good. Nice kiss at the end. Our boy passed the test, didn't he?
Katie: It wasn't a very good test to begin with. I mean, I don't know what it really was going to tell me.
Isaac: Nothing you didn't already know, I'm sure.

Simon: Well, that's the last of it. What's that?
Katie: What does it look like?
Simon: A-ha, I know what it is. What I want to know is where did you get it?
Katie: Well, I guess one woman's trash is another woman's treasure.
Simon: What? You went dumpster diving?
Katie: I'll explain later. In the meantime, I'm a little lonely over here on the couch all by myself.
Simon: Well, you don't have to ask twice. Is this why they call it a loveseat?
Katie: Yeah, just enough room for two.
Simon: Yeah, I guess we should christen it properly then.
Katie: No, I can't.
Simon: Sure you can.
Katie: I have to confess. Hey! I have to confess. My mother says it's good for the soul.
Simon: All right, body first, soul later.
Katie: No, stop I can't concentrate when you're doing that.
Simon: Well, that's the point.
Katie: It's about the keys.
Simon: Not the keys again.
Katie: Yes, the keys again.
Simon: Yeah, well, I thought we settled all that.
Katie: No, you settled it. I didn't. They were a big part of my test for you, Simon, and you failed miserably.

Simon: Please, Katie, no more tests, okay? I think it belittles both of us.
Katie: Yeah, I know. And I failed, too, okay? Maybe I've been reading too many of those magazines. You know, those quizzes -- "how to test if your love is loyal." "How to put zest to the test."
Simon: Look, those quizzes, they're -- they're not made for real people with real problems.
Katie: Yeah, I don't want real. Real is boring. Real is doing the laundry and scraping to get by. Give me perfection.
Simon: All right. So tell me -- how did I fail you?
Katie: I guess deep down, I just wanted you to give the keys to Margo.
Simon: I thought I explained that. I told you why--
Katie: Yes, I know, I know. We can investigate Dahlia better than the cops can.
Simon: Yeah, look -- at this point, the police have one suspect, me. They've got an abandoned car. The missing woman's keys were found among my stuff. Tack on the fact that I got drunk and threatened this woman in front of a whole lot of people -- I mean, you do the math.
Katie: I know how they get.
Simon: No, I don't think you do. I think that you think that your love for me will make everyone believe that I couldn't hurt Dahlia.
Katie: You couldn't.
Simon: I know. What I'm trying to say is I think all of that will be lost on the law.
Katie: But not on me. I'm sorry. The test was a stupid idea. It's over, though, okay? I made a little mistake. I do believe in you. I believe in you with my whole heart.
Simon: Good. Good, I hope so. Because otherwise, you and me, we're in as bad shape as this old cottage.

Katie: This cottage will be around forever. Just like us.
Simon: Not unless those gifts over there have a new roof and some pretty decent plumbing.
Katie: I do have faith in you. I just can't blindly accept everything you do.
Simon: Yeah, and I don't expect you to. You know that.
Katie: And you have good reasons. And your reasons are my reasons, whatever they are. So, from now on, whatever you say goes.
Simon: Okay. Who are you, and what have you done to my wife?
Katie: I mean it. No more doubts, okay?
Simon: Good.
Katie: I love you.
Simon: I love you, too.
Katie: Now, would you like to hear about our new loveseat?
Simon: Absolutely. Tell me everything.
Katie: Okay. Well, I found it on Lakeview Road.
Simon: Ooh, nice. Upper-class trash.
Katie: Yeah, there wasn't even anything that wrong with it. So I tipped the garbage man 20 bucks, and he brought it over here.
Simon: Right, and how much did you tip him to reupholster it?
Katie: Nothing. I did it. I got some discontinued fabric--
Simon: And a crash course in sewing.
Katie: Oh, who are you kidding? Nobody sews anymore. I did this all with a hot glue gun. Wanna see? [ Katie tries to get up, but is stuck to the loveseat ]
Simon: Problem?
Katie: Ah. No, no problem.
Simon: Yeah, right. Katie -- what type of glue did you use?
Katie: The super kind.
Simon: Yeah.

Simon: All right, Katie, where are the scissors? Where are the scissors?
Katie: No, you are not cutting my loveseat!
Simon: Well, I'm open to suggestions at this point.
Katie: Okay, we will get some hot water and we will soften the glue.
Simon: And -- and how are we gonna get to the water?
Katie: We'll figure out something. We always do.
Simon: And if we do? If we do? No more craft shows for you from now on. You are banned.
Katie: All right, fine. We'll just take our clothes off?
Simon: With one arm?
Katie: Yeah, it's more than we had in Malta.
Simon: Okay. Well, I guess my wife is pretty flexible.
Katie: Mm-hmm. It's all that working out. Well, don't you move.
Katie: Do I have a choice? [ laughs ] Nice, see we're getting somewhere.

Katie: I'm sure Martha Stewart never had so much fun with glue.
Simon: Please, that is a visual I don't need right now.
Katie: Oh, I saw another episode on refinishing floors.
Simon: No, no listen to me -- you, a sander and varnish -- no way, forget it.
Katie: No?
Simon: That doesn't mix.
Katie: Whatever.
Simon: Will you do me a favor, please? Promise me no more tests.
Katie: Okay. Well -- maybe just the kind that turn pink or blue.
Simon: Oh, no. No. Are you trying to tell me something?
Katie: No! Don't be so suspicious.
Simon: Well, you do have habit of springing these things on me, you know.
Katie: Well, no, no, that was old, insecure Katie. This is new, confident Katie. I'm a changed woman and whatever happened to Dahlia, had nothing to do with you.
Simon: Do me a favor.
Katie: Another one?
Simon: Mm-hmm. Don't change too much.
Katie: You know what? I can make some beautiful curtains with this dropcloth.
Simon: Yeah, well, lucky, we've got a better use for it right now.
Katie: That's true. We're going to live happily ever after here, aren't we?
Simon: In this place, yeah, I think anything is possible.

Katie: Behind every man with a saw, there's a woman with a dustpan and enough trash to fill her own landfill. [Katie finds Dahlia's watch in the middle of the sawdust on the floor and gets spooked] So, anyway, what do we need a landfill for? We live in the middle of the woods. And why would you want to take trash to the landfill if you can just fill 'em in the woods. and, you know, you could put it there, and no one would even know what we were doing, right? We could dump anything out here, and no one would even know. but that's not very ecological, I guess.
Simon: Katie, Katie, Katie, are you okay?
Katie: Yeah, fine. Why?
Simon: Well, you're doing that thing where you talk too fast and you can't breathe.
Katie: Oh, you know what? It's probably all this dust. I probably just need a mask or something.
[phone ringing]
Simon: Excuse me. hello?
Margo: Hey, Simon, it's Margo. I -- I -- [Margo sighs] look, I need to ask you a few more questions about the night Dahlia Ventura disappeared.
Simon: Yeah, sure. Okay.
Margo: There've been a few developments. The case is now considered a possible homicide.
Simon: What?! Why?
Margo: Why don't you meet me at Java, and I'll fill you in on everything I know, okay?
Simon: Yeah, sure, sure. I'll be right there. that was Margo. I've gotta go. I've gotta go to meet her. it's about Dahlia's car. they -- found some new evidence or something.
Katie: What? What kind of evidence?
Simon: I don't know. Maybe she just wants me to go and identify something.
Katie: Should -- I know way more about her stuff than you do.
Simon: Yeah, well, they're gonna probably ask you next. Look, look, I'm not gonna be long. I'll -- I'll see you soon. You gonna be okay?
Katie: Yeah, fine. I'll just finish clearing up here.
Simon: Sure. hey, no more glue guns.
Katie: No more glue guns. Okay. I'm gonna trust him. I'm gonna stay here. and I'm gonna sweep. And -- follow him.

Java Coffee Shop

Margo: Okay, it'll just be a minute. Why don't you have a seat?
Craig: Are you gonna trust me to drink a coffee all by myself?
Margo: And if you don't spill any on you, you're getting your own donut, copper.
[Craig chuckles]
Margo: Okay, thanks for coming in.
Simon: So did you find her? is she dead?
Margo: No.
Simon: So she's still missing.
Margo: Yes, until we find her, she is missing.
Simon: Okay, so what's this about a possible homicide?
Margo: The lab found traces of blood under the car mats.
Simon: Blood -- whose blood? Margo, it's a rental car, okay? it could be anybody's blood.
Margo: No, the lab said that it was blood, and it was AB positive. And according to the donor card in Dahlia's wallet, so was she. So, Simon, I need you to give me an official statement, as you were the last person to see Dahlia alive.
Simon: Yeah, fine, whatever you need. look, I should tell you that I found Dahlia's -- Katie found Dahlia's keys. Amongst my stuff.
Margo: And you're just telling me this now?
Simon: I figured it was games that Dahlia was playing. you know, she'd reappear and offer some excuse to Katie. I should've known. Anyone harboring this much bitterness over something for this long! Margo, do you have any idea how much time and money she has spent making Katie a star? And why? Why? So that Katie becomes rich enough so that she can leave me and she can put me in jail for something I didn't do. she's a psychopath!
Jill: Dahlia's no psychopath. she's just a woman who loved her sister, and you couldn't stand that, could you? That she knew the truth. so you killed her.
[Katie is outside Java's and taps on the glass for Craig to come outside]
Craig: What is it with the women in this family? So high maintenance.

Simon: Margo, this is Jill Scully, Dahlia's attorney.
Jill: He drowned his wife, Detective.
Margo: Now, as I understand it, those charges were dismissed.
Jill: On a technicality. yeah, he got away with it. but Dahlia wouldn't let it go. He murdered Monique, which gives him motive.
Simon: Ah, please. will you just give it a rest?
Jill: Not till I find my client's body and you're convicted of her murder. He's a brilliant liar, Detective. Be careful.
[Jill leaves and Simon starts after her]
Margo: Come here!
Simon: She knows where Dahlia is.
Margo: Sit. Sit.
Simon: Don't tell me -- do not tell me that you believe her.
Margo: I believe that she is very angry. would you just sit? You're giving me a little crick in my neck. Sit. Sit. thanks. oh, man.
Simon: Her whole family's angry. they tried to overturn Monique's will, okay? Jill was furious when she had to settle that estate on me.
Margo: All right, I can see that everybody was angry. so -- you and Dahlia had it out the night of the party.
Simon: So she makes this toast to Katie, all right? word for word, the same speech that I gave Monique when we got married.
Margo: She provoked you.
Simon: The whole thing, Margo, is a provocation.
Margo: But why'd you fall for it, Simon? I mean, for God's sakes, you're a smart man. you must've known what she was up to.
Simon: Yes, after the fact, I knew. after the -- I don't know why I fell -- Katie was upset, so I got upset. and the whole thing just--
Margo: So you say Dahlia came to town to set you up?
Simon: Yes. she admitted it. Ask Katie.
Margo: Dahlia had provided it.
Simon: She is possessed. she's come to town to ruin my marriage.
Margo: And you hate her.
Simon: Yes. I might not -- but, yes, I hate her. and I got angry, and I threatened her. But I did not hurt her. oh. Now I have to make a statement, should I what? Should I bring a lawyer?

Outside Java

Katie: According to Simon --who didn't kill her sister no matter what people say -- Dahlia has disappeared. they found her car, and I found her keys--in Simon's bag.
Craig: Simon's bag.
Katie: Shh! Craig! don't you -- ugh! nobody knows, except for Simon. But we decided not to tell the police because of the way it looks. but now I found her watch. what do I do?
Craig: So -- forgive me. you think Simon murdered Dahlia and took her watch and keys?
Katie: No! No, of course not!
Craig: Well, then what's the problem? Either you trust him or you don't.
Katie: Of course I trust him, Craig! he's my husband. I love him, and I--
Craig: What?
Katie: Oh, no.
Craig: What?
Katie: You're right. if I trusted him, then I wouldn't worry about the keys and the watch. Simon says that she planted the keys in his bag, and -- I don't know. Do you think she planted the watch, too? I found it on the ground in some sawdust.
Craig: Either that or he dragged it in on his bloodstained shoe.
Katie: Oh, Craig, come on! what am I gonna do?
Craig: Well, as far as I see - you have one choice.
Katie: Trust him.
Craig: Hire a private detective. You want the guy Sierra hired to tail me? He was good. Caught me with my hand jammed in the cookie jar.
Katie: Simon is not jamming any cookies.
Craig: Well, you want the truth, or am I just a cheap therapist?
Katie: I can afford any therapist I want, Craig, thanks to Dahlia. In fact, business-wise, she's been great to me. Financial-wise, she's been fantastic -- unless -- you're a genius.
Craig: Well, I'm gifted.
Katie: No, listen. if your partner suddenly starting making a lot of money, what would you do? you would make her believe that her husband was trying to kill her. Freak her out so she's not noticing that you're taking all the profits! This is great. thank you so much! I knew Simon didn't do it. I knew it! [Katie runs off]
Craig: I wonder if I could get paid for that, huh? "Craig Montgomery -- Life Facilitator." I get things done. I save lives. Ah, me.
[Craig runs back into Java]
Craig: Margo! I'll take a rain check on that jail thing. I got lives to save.

Java Coffee Shop

Margo: Simon, you're not just family. we've worked together. and I called you down here because I need help. all right? anything you got on Dahlia or the night in question -- I'm simply here to listen, not to accuse.
Simon: All right, thanks. here are Dahlia's keys. I know I should've turned them in straight away. I just figured that Dahlia wouldn't take it this far.
Margo: Thanks. Any ideas on the blood on the floor mats?
Simon: Blood stains, yeah. Those the oldest trick in the -- something else that she planted.
Margo: Okay. you feel it was deliberate. she cut her hand or--
Simon: Margo, she's creating evidence of a crime. She's building a case against me, which tells me one thing -- that she's alive and she's lethal. This is just the beginning. Right? she's out for blood. I just hope Katie and I can survive it.

The Cottage

Katie: You think you are so clever, don't you, Dahlia? well, I've got news for you. I'm on to you. And your time's up. You think that you could get me upset about my husband so that I wouldn't notice what you were doing? You picked the wrong girl, sweetheart. I count my money. I always have. So if you think you can--
Mailman: Katie Frasier? Express mail.
Katie: Oh. Wow, you found us all the way out here.
Mailman: You know--neither rain nor sleet nor cottage in the middle of nowhere
Katie: Well, thank you very much. You have a good day, all right? Crimson Dahlia Productions, huh? Wonder what this is about. Better not have anything to do with Simon, or that woman is -- "Congratulations. we're a hit. Full market penetration. Attached please find an accounting statement and first payment." Well, here you go, babe. Here's my proof. what? Oh, my God. I'm rich. It's all here. Every single penny. Well, there goes the cheating theory.

Katie: [on the phone] No, wait, wait. Do the pancakes come with potatoes? Okay, no, then scratch that whole order. I want an omelet, ham and cheese with lots of hash browns and a side of pancakes. Oh, and an english muffin -- berry muffin. Blueberry muffin and some fruit. Great. Thank you. Hurry. [hangs up] Okay. I have got to stop eating so much when I'm so nervous. Oh, Snickers, honey, I need your help. I gotta talk this out. So you just be a good little bunny, sit here. And listen carefully, ok this is very important. I have right here exhibit a -- Dahlia Ventura's watch, which I found in our cottage on the floor. Now, what possible conclusions can we draw? Well, first, that Dahlia planted the watch there so that I would believe Simon is responsible for her disappearance so that I would be afraid of him -- which he has never ever even hurt anyone, or me, and even Dahlia's sister Monique, which she thinks he murdered. But he didn't. You getting this? Okay. Now, however, if I didn't believe that Simon would be responsible for such a horrible crime, why then, didn't I go home last night with him? Why did I come back here and start eating so much that I am working my way into a bigger leotard? Good question, huh? Okay. Now, moving onto exhibit b -- which is my very healthy first residual check from my workout video. Which if, this is indeed real, would make me a very rich woman, just like Monique, who Simon is accused of murdering. So? Any conclusions? Right. My thoughts exactly. I didn't go home last night for the same reason that I haven't shown Simon this check. Because Dahlia's plan is working. It's working. She has actually made me afraid of my very own wonderful husband.

Katie: No. Simon did not kill Dahlia. What am I thinking? She wants me to think that he did. That's what she wants, and I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to. It's just -- [groans] I wish Simon would have gone to the police about some of this stuff. There. [Katie sighs] oh, I can't just make it go away. But if Simon is really -- I can't even say it. I can't even say it. I can't even think it. Why would -- you know what? I'm gonna read. I'm gonna read until my food gets here. That will get my mind off of everything. [ Pulls out "When Life Was High and Love Was Cheap" ] There. I feel better already.
[Katie daydreaming]
[Narrating]
I took one look at him and started thinking about a joint checking account. Dark hair just waiting for a set of fingers to run through it, eyes the color of cracked pepper, lips that curled in all the right places. He moved like a panther on the prowl, and I was ready and willing to make that kitty purr.
Simon: Hold it there, doll face. I was thinking we should talk.
Katie: Sorry, my mother told me never to talk to strangers.
Simon: Maybe we should be introduced. Simon Frasier's the name. Ring a bell?
[Narrating]
Katie: The name hit me like a 2' x 4 across the back of the head. He was Simon Frasier, the homicidal husband. No, I've never heard of you. Are you some kind of celebrity?
Simon: Yeah. Yeah, you could say that
Katie: Too tall to be a jockey. So what's your game, anyway?
Simon: I'm an investor.
Katie: Stock market?
Simon: Dames.
Katie: Well, Mr. Investor, this is one fund that ain't feeling so mutual.
Simon: Wait. Wait. I know I've done a few shady things in my past, but from the moment I laid my eyes on you, looking like a scoop of rum raisin smothered in whipped cream, I knew my life had changed forever. Stay with me, let me show you just how good a man I can be.
[Narrating]
Katie: I'd heard all the stories of the women he'd ruined, their broken s and their empty bank accounts. Was he telling me the truth? I couldn't take the chance. I'm gonna go back inside. I just felt a sudden chill in the air.
Simon: Come here sweetheart. Do yourself a favor. Trust me.
Katie: How do you trust a guy like that and hang onto your self-respect? How do you hand him your heart and make sure he doesn't steal the rest? The answer was easy. You don't. Out of my way, Mr. Frasier. You're one mistake I'm not going to make.
Simon: Look, I know I'm a gamble, cupcake. But every now and then, you've just got to take a game of chance. Roll the dice -- paradise. [Katie screams] you've got to be careful, love can be a real killer.
Katie: Help. Help me.
Simon: Oh, of course I'll help you, sugar. Take my hand.
[Katie's daydream is interrupted by the sound of Simon's voice]
Simon: Katie? Katie?
Katie: Oh, hey. - What are you doing here?
Simon: Oh, looking for you. How come you didn't come home last night?
Katie: I -- was working on some fan mail from the video.
Simon: All night?
Katie: Yeah, well, I -- you know, it got late. I was kind of tired, so I called you at the cottage, but you never answered.
Simon: Okay. So where is it?
Katie: What?
Simon: The fan mail.
Katie: Oh. I took it to the post office.
Simon: Oh. Katie, why are you lying to me? What are you trying to hide?
Katie: Why would you think I was lying to you?
Simon: Uh, because I know you, and your voice kind of goes higher when you do lie to me. Do you know that?
Katie: No. No, it doesn't.
Simon: Come on. Just tell me. Just -- just come clean about whatever it is, and we'll deal with it. It's just taken us a long time to work our trust in each other. I would hate to have to start that all over again.

Katie: Honestly, Simon, don't you think you're being overdramatic a little bit?
Simon: No, actually, I think I'm handling this pretty well. My wife didn't come home last night. I really just kinda wanna know why.
Katie: I told you already. I was tired. It was late. Craig and Lucy weren't around, so I had a -- enjoyed a nice, quiet evening.
Simon: Something that we us to enjoy together, remember?
Katie: I've just been busy with the video these last few months, and then all this craziness with Dahlia -- I guess I just didn't really realize how burnt out I was.
Simon: Okay. Fine. That's cool. I spoke to Margo.
Katie: No kidding?
Simon: I told her that you found Dahlia's keys amongst my stuff.
Katie: You did? Oh, honey, that's wonderful. You've been so reluctant to go to the police.
Simon: Look, I should've gone to her in the first place. I really should have. And when I started talking stupid about wanting to bury them, I -- I don't know what came over me.
Katie: Simon, it is perfectly understandable. This came as a total surprise to you. What did Margo say?
Simon: She said she was gonna give the keys to her forensic people and continue to investigate.
Katie: Investigate what? You told her they were planted, didn't you?
Simon: Yeah, of course I did. I did, yeah. But the problem -- the problem is that the lab techs found something else in Dahlia's car, which completely changes the case.
Katie: What was it?
Simon: Traces of blood, AB positive, which is--Dahlia's blood type.
Katie: No. I mean, she probably just she cut herself or, you know, skinned her knee getting into the car.
Simon: I know, I know. She could have, yes. And that blood type is a very popular one. A lot of people have that -- the thing is, now that they've found blood, it changes from a missing person. They have to now investigate the possibility that Dahlia was killed.
Katie: No. I don't -- I don't believe this. Dahlia put that blood there so people would think that she was dead.
Simon: That is exactly what I told Margo, and she also agrees that that is a possibility.
Katie: Then there's nothing to worry about. You've been honest. Now Margo knows that it was a setup, and we can just go on--
Simon: Unfortunately, Katie, it's not that simple. Until we know otherwise, I was still the last person to see Dahlia alive. I had a very public argument the night that she disappeared, and I am smack in the middle of this, and it is gonna get worse before it gets better. Trust me.
Katie: Hold on. So you're saying that now you're for sure a suspect?
Simon: Margo didn't say as much, but I do now have to make an official statement.
Katie: A statement. Just like you had to do when Monique died.
Simon: It is standard procedure. It really -- it's nothing more than that. And as it happens, I am innocent. 100 statements isn't gonna change that.
Katie: Of course you are. That's why I hate that you had to go through all of this. I can't believe that anyone would believe that my wonderful, amazing husband is a -- you know. [ Knock at door ] What was that?
Simon: Door. Who is it?
Waiter: Room service.
Katie: Oh, I forgot that he was on his way. Hey. Good morning.
Waiter: Morning. Anyplace special you'd like me to put this?
Simon: Yeah, over here is fine. That's great. Thank you. You ordered all of this?
Katie: I just didn't really eat that much last night.
[Katie daydreaming]
Simon: Come on. You're losing your grip, sister. Take my hand. Let me haul you to safety.
[Narrating]
Katie: If it had been any one of 1,000 other men, I would've grabbed that mitt in a second. But this was Simon Frasier, the homicidal husband. I can help myself up. I work out on a regular basis.
Simon: Do yourself a favor and trust me. Come on. Don't look at me like that. What am I, anyway? A fate worse than death itself?
[Narrating]
Katie: It was a good question. Trusting Simon Frasier wasn't the smartest move I could make, but my arms were starting to tire, and every once in awhile, a gal's gotta take a chance. All right. Help me up, you big lug.
Simon: What's the matter, huh? You scared?
Katie: Thanks for the lift. I guess people were wrong about you. You can be trusted.
Simon: Trust this.
[Horns honking]
Simon: Katie? I thought you were hungry.
Katie: I am. I'm right there.
Simon: Everything okay?
Katie: Sure. Fine.

Simon: Do you mind if I have that muffin?
Katie: No.
Simon: All right. This has gone on long enough, Katie.
Katie: What?
Simon: The silence. Something's bothering you, and it's got nothing to do with your fan mail.
Katie: Okay. If you really must know, I've been thinking about something that you said, about how things have to get worse before they get better. Why that? Why does it have to be that way?
Simon: Dahlia wants people to believe that I killed her. Hmm? That's why she planted the keys in my bag. That's why she -- she put the bloodstains in the rental car. If she's willing to go that far, then she's obviously not finished yet.
Katie: What else can she do?
Simon: I'm sure we'll know soon enough, whether we want to or not. And please, come here. Come here. Can you please promise me one thing?
Katie: I'll do my best.
Simon: All right. If anything happens to make you suspicious of me, can you bring it to me first before discussing it with anyone else?
Katie: Okay. I can do that.
Simon: You do believe in me, don't you? Because without you by my side, this is gonna be very tough to get through.
[Craig bursts through the door with Parker]
Craig: Oh, thank goodness you're here. You gotta help us, quick.

[Shouting over each other]
Katie: Craig, what is going on? Why do you have Carly's son?
Craig: I don't have time to explain. The police are in the lobby. They're gonna be up any minute.
Katie: The police -- the police? What -- oh, no, no, no. You didn't kidnap this kid?
Craig: I'm saving him from being snatched away from his mother.
Katie: I thought Carly was away, Craig--
Craig: Katie, I don't have time to explain. I've gotta get Parker out of here.
Simon: All right, Craig, running is useless. If the police are that -- you're never gonna get away from here now.
Craig: I'm not going to run, Simon. You are.
Katie: What?!
Craig: Now, Parker and I talked about this. You're gonna take Parker to your little cottage in the woods there. I'm gonna get with you later, all right?
Simon: No way, no -- no way. No. I'm in enough trouble as it is. No way.
[Rapping at door]
Cop #2: Open up! It's the police!
Craig: You are the only people who can help me here. You have to. Please don't say no.
Katie: We'd better hurry. Come with me, okay?
Craig: Thank you, thank you. Bye, Parker.

Simon: That one there? It goes back and forth, all right when we get it in the middle -- right there, right there, right there -- that means the house ain't gonna fall down.
Katie: Unless, of course, the only thing holding it up is the mortgage.
Simon: Okay. Here, here. You continue to play with this. Try and get that bubble in the middle. I'm sure you can do it.
Katie: All right, the coast is clear. Nobody followed us.
Simon: Katie, this is crazy. I've got Dahlia trying to frame me for a crime I didn't commit, and then I go and commit one!
Katie: What crime? Parker and I are practically related.
Simon: Oh, yeah, yeah? How?
Katie: Well, if Craig marries Carly--
Simon: Kidnapping, Katie. Kidnapping.
Katie: Okay, okay, okay. Margo is my half-sister, and she happened to once be married to Hal, who is his father. No, see? It's fine. She would never arrest me for something like this, particularly when she sees how cute you guys are together. Oh, I just don't wanna think. You and this house and this little one in your lap -- and he doesn't have to be a boy. It could be a girl. You'd love a girl just as much, right? [ Katie sighs ] it just all seems so perfect. It's what I've always wanted.
Simon: And I will give you everything you want. In time, we will work it out. Just give us some time to work out.
Katie: [pulls out Dahlia's watch and shows it to Simon] Not if I keep finding things like this, we won't.

[Simon whistles]
Simon: Nice watch.
Katie: It's Dahlia's. She was wearing it the night she disappeared.
Simon: Well, I see you wiped all the blood off it.
Katie: What blood?
Simon: Well, wasn't it lying in a pool of by the wood chipper?
Katie: Do we even have a wood chipper?
Simon: No. No, we don't. And even if we did, I wouldn't puree your producer. I wouldn't puree anyone. So where'd you find it?
Katie: Uh--on the floor.
Simon: And why didn't you tell me about it?
Katie: I wanted to, but then Margo called--
Simon: And then you couldn't face me, and so you hid out at your brother's.
Katie: No, Snickers had to be fed--
Simon: God.
Katie: All right, fine. Yeah, I--I hid out.
Simon: Katie, this is exactly what I'm saying. Dahlia wants you to believe that I killed her. That's why the car, that's why the bloodstains, that's why the car keys, the watch! It's a campaign to make it look as though a crime was committed and that I committed it, all right? And you've gotta ask yourself, all right, if I did kill Dahlia, why would I keep her car keys, huh? Why would I keep her watch? Why would I leave the car ditched near our house? I mean, I'm pretty thick, but that doesn't make sense!
Katie: Okay, you think that I don't see this. I see it. It's just -- oh, I don't know.
Simon: I didn't kill Monique. Katie, I did not kill Dahlia. But if you do not believe me, then you know, I don't know what we're doing here.

Katie: [to Parker]You just sit here and keep putting that one in the middle, okay? He loves that level.
Simon: He's a boy.
Katie: Okay, honey -- it's not that I don't believe you. All right? It's just -- okay, do I think that you took Dahlia into the woods and murdered her? And then came back here and sprinkled her stuff everywhere? No. It's obviously Dahlia, trying to break us up and get you arrested. And she's had it out for me from day one. So -- you know what? The joke's on her. The video's doing just great.
Simon: So if you realize all that, why did you hide out at Craig's?
Katie: All right. Okay, just imagine that someone comes to you, and they tell you that I am the kind of girl who -- I don't know, something bad. Steals canes from old people. What would you say?
Simon: I 'cane't' believe it.
Katie: Come on, I'm being serious.
Simon: I would say Katie's not that kinda girl.
Katie: Exactly. Then all of a sudden, one day you go out to the car, and you find one under the seat. And then there's one under the bed. And another one, out of the blue. And then the police come to me, asking me questions. And all I can say is, "canes? What canes? The AARP must be conspiring against me."
Simon: Wait, wait. Who's the AARP?
Katie: The American Association of Retired People. I did a thing on them at W.O.A.K. It's nothing to worry about. You don't wanna mess with them.
Simon: Okay, are you asking if I would believe you?
Katie: Of course you would believe me.
Simon: Yes.
Katie: But think about this -- wouldn't it be a little unnerving if, all of a sudden, canes were flying at you from everywhere? You found one in the shower. And then one in the refrigerator. And then all of a sudden, you just started finding them in the tiniest, weirdest little places. And then it gets worse. Walkers. Wheelchairs. Prosthetic legs are flying at you. What then?
Simon: Fake arms? Fake arms.
Katie: Come on. I'm trying to make a point here.
Simon: All right. At the first sign of the first fake leg, I would divorce you, and I would get custody of Snickers.
Katie: I rest my case.
Simon: All right, then promise me this. Please -- [ groans ] next time you find a fake leg, tell me.
Katie: Okay.
Simon: Good. Hey, Parker! Come here, big fella. Feel like a pretzel? Huh? Do you feel like a pretzel? No, you feel like a Parker. He feels like a Parker. And what's that? Sure she isn't a dog?
[ Barking ]
Katie: Um, Simon -- there was actually something else I forgot to show you. Well, I just didn't show 'cause I was kinda freaked out. It's from Crimson Dahlia Productions. Arrived yesterday. My first check. My first share of the profits.
Simon: Wow. Whoa.
Katie: Actually, I thought for a while that Dahlia had been trying to cheat me. And that's why she made it look like you tried to murder her, so that I would be worried about that and not checking the numbers. But what she doesn't know is that I always check the numbers. So she didn't win. It wasn't true. But she did make me a very rich woman.
Simon: Wow, that video must be selling really well.
Katie: Yeah, people seem to like it.
Simon: Congratulations.
Katie: Thanks. It's just unfair because I should be so happy right now. And I am happy. I'm happy about you and me and about this house. And about the fact that we have enough money to fix it up. It's just this Dahlia thing really gets to me. I don't know why. She just knows how to push my buttons. And I can't stop it.
Simon: Maybe we gotta start pushing back.
Katie: How?
Simon: First, we've gotta get some help.
Katie: What is that?
Simon: Ah, man. It's the cops. They're coming around from the highway.
Katie: Oh, no. Here, Parker, honey, you come with me. We'll go out the back road.
Simon: Wait, you cannot go. They're just gonna follow you, Katie.
Katie: That's okay. You will keep them here. Just -- just -- just distract them for a minute. Come on. Hey, we're going in the car.
Simon: Kate -- Kate -- Kate!
Katie: I love you!

Nancy's Car

Katie: [sitting in the backseat with Parker] Hi, Mrs. Hughes. Hi.
Nancy: Katie!
Katie: Yes. Sorry. I didn't want to frighten you while you were pulling out.
Nancy: Is that Parker Munson?
Katie: Yes, it is. Parker, why don't you say hi to Mrs. Hughes? We're having an adventure, huh?
Nancy: Apparently, so am I.
Katie: Oh, good. I'm glad you said that. I'm glad you feel that way.
Nancy: If I may be so bold, may I ask why you're in my car? I don't find you here every day.
Katie: That is true. It's just that Parker and I were having an adventure --
Nancy: That's what you said.
Katie: His folks are, you know, gone right now. And so we were hanging out together, having a fun day. And we decided to surprise you, right?
Nancy: I see.
Katie: Listen, can you do me a really big favor?
Nancy: A favor? Pass it by me.

The Cottage

Simon: [ making nervous chit chat while the police search the cottage ] Loose floorboards. Old house. Hey, but what you gonna do? We love the place. Did you find anything? Hey, did I tell you my wife was an aerobics instructor? She teaches aerobics down at the gym. Aerobics, hey? You know, bunch of guys, twits, running around in their underwear. But it sells. Have a copy. We've got thousands.
Cop #2: Was Parker Munson here today with Mrs. Frasier?
Simon: A kid at a construction site? Are you nuts?! The ceiling's already fallen down twice! You know, I was gonna brace it -- I don't know -- with a 3 x 1, but I'm not even sure whether that's gonna hold. You know, we can't even get insurance on this place. You don't know anyone that I can call about --
Cop #3: When you see your wife, ask her to call her sister down at the station.
Simon: Absolutely. Will do. Guys be careful of that door on the way out. It's loose on those hinges. Take it easy. [takes out his cell phone and makes a call] Yeah, it's Simon. Katie's gone, can you come over?

Nancy's Car

Katie: Half an hour, tops. In fact, you're gonna want to keep him all day. He's such a sweetheart.
Nancy: I don't know, Katie it seems to me if Parker has been left in your care, that's where he should stay.
Katie: And he will. If you can't look after him, then it's me and the kid -- no problem. It's just that you're so at this. I don't think anyone would object to you watching him. You're Mrs. Mom.
Nancy: Well, be that as it may --
Katie: I wouldn't ask you if these errands weren't so important.
Nancy: Where did you get that face? From a starving kitten? Look at her, Parker. She's hilarious.
Katie: So you'll do it? You'll watch him?
Nancy: I'll take him home for awhile. Take him home for awhile, Katie.
Katie: Okay.
Nancy: And only because I have Daniel's car seat in the trunk.
Katie: Oh, thank you so much, Mrs. H. Guess what, Parker Joe? You get to hang out with the coolest woman on the planet for the rest of the day.
Nancy: And he's going to need supper and a bath and a bed before long.
Katie: I won't be gone that long. I'm just gonna get some toys and your favorite PJs.
Nancy: Not long, Katie.
Katie: I promise. Thank you.
Nancy: Well, that and fifty cents used to get me on the bus. Parker, I think you and I have a situation on our hands. What do you say we try to find out what exactly is happening? [gets out her cell phone to make a call]

Simon: Lucinda, hi. Thank you. Thank you for coming by so fast. Come in.
Lucinda: Well, this is a little cramped for a 2-car garage, but much cozier than a carport. Where's the cottage?
Simon: You're standing in it.
Lucinda: Oh.
Simon: Yes.
Lucinda: This is the cottage. It's very, very nice. And, oh -- and this. Was it left furnished or something?
Simon: The sofa? No, no, the sofa was free. It was free.
Lucinda: Honey, you was robbed.
Simon: Look, sit, please. Can I get you anything?
Lucinda: No.
Simon: Something?
Lucinda: Darling, just jump into it. Jump into it. What was it? Why are you so desperate that you need my help?
Simon: All right. I need a no-nonsense, shrewd strategist. And since Colin Powell's kinda busy right now, I defer the next best thing.
Lucinda: Oh, flatterer. Go on.

Craig's Suite

Katie: Oh, I am so glad Carly left some of her stuff here. Oh, this is so cute. And so tiny. Oh, no, Parker's outgrown all of this stuff. Craig can't take him away wearing these things. All right. Think, think, think. Who would wear stuff that fits him? Lucy. She has those little, baby tees that Craig never lets her wear. I am a genius.

The Cottage

Simon: Please, sit. I promise, it's glue-free.
Lucinda: Okay, Simon Frasier, what seems to be the problem?
Simon: All right, I'm being framed for something I didn't do.
Lucinda: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. I doe how my strategic mind can be of any help to you. What have you done?
Simon: Nothing. Nothing. I promise I haven't done anything. You have my word on this.
Lucinda: Yeah.
Simon: All right, look. I can say a lot of things about myself as a person, but there's one thing I am definitely not. That's a murderer.
Lucinda: I'm happy to hear that.
Simon: You know about this video that Katie's made?
Lucinda: The "butt-buster" thing.
Simon: Yeah.
Lucinda: Lucy told me.
Simon: All right, then you must've heard about her business partner, Dahlia Ventura?
Lucinda: Well, the name, I guess.
Simon: Dahlia is out to settle an old score. I was once married to Dahlia's sister, Monique. This is going back years ago, all right? Now Monique dies in a horrible accident. But that's all it was, okay, an accident.

Lucinda: And Dahlia Ventura thinks that you murdered her sister?
Simon: Yes, but I never, ever touched Monique. And I never touched Dahlia. And now Dahlia's gone missing. And all these clues keep popping up -- clues which are pointing to me as Dahlia's killer.
Lucinda: Go on. Go on. Go on.
Simon: All right. The night of Katie's video premiere party, Dahlia gets up to make this speech about how great their partnership is. But the thing is, it's the same toast that I made to Monique the day that we were married. I had a meltdown, and unfortunately, there was a lot of cameras there to catch it.
Lucinda: Oh, darling, you played right into her hands.
Simon: I know. Anyway, after the party, Dahlia goes missing. There's blood in her abandoned car. There's news clippings about Monique's death. And somehow, Dahlia manages to plant her car keys amongst my stuff. Now, I know should've taken them to the police straight away, but I convinced Katie that we should hide them.
Lucinda: Big mistake.
Simon: I know. I know. I thought this was something I could solve by myself. I didn't want to involve the cops.
Lucinda: It just makes you look all the guiltier. Well, this Dahlia seems to have covered all her bases. Hmm? She turned simple Simon into Simon Frasier, prime suspect number one.
Simon: I know why I'm the police prime suspect. The thing that just kills me is that Katie's really starting to suspect me herself.

Craig's Suite

Katie: Oh, Craig better appreciate this. I know Parker will. Okay, we've got water, peanut butter, jelly, biscotti. It's not the four food groups, but at least the kid won't starve after a couple days with no milk and no broccoli. It'll be an adventure. Kids loves biscotti. Okay, I have got toys, food, clothes, water -- and no clue as to what to do next.

Oakdale Police Department

[Cell phone rings]
Craig: Would you?
Rosanna: Where is it?
Craig: Get that phone? It's in my pocket, next to my heart. [ phone rings ] yes?
Katie: Craig, hi, it's me. I'm waiting for further instructions.
Craig: Do you have the little package?
Katie: He's with the safest possible person. And I'll be with him very soon.
Craig: Where are you?
Katie: I'm at your place. I remembered that you had some of Parker's stuff stored here, and I'm rummaging through it. Where should I take him next?
Craig: I want you to bring Parker in to the police station.
Katie: Don't say his name, Craig! They're gonna hear you! And after all you've put me through today, you-know-who is staying right where he is.
Craig: No. You have to bring him in. There has been a misunderstanding.
Katie: Oh, no, Craig. I understand.
Craig: You understand what?
Katie: That they've threatened you with prison, and they're tapping the phones!
Craig: Katie, no.
Katie: Okay, I will take the package to the farthest possible place. Don't worry about me. I've got you covered.
Craig: Katie, wait! You don't understand!

Craig's Suite

Katie: I gotta warn Nancy. [ Katie opens the door to leave and finds Margo ] Margo! Hi.
Margo: Oh, Katie, you look surprised to see me.
Katie: Oh, just surprised to see anyone. Why? What's up?
Margo: Well, I guess you didn't know that this suite was under surveillance.One of my guys told me I could find you up here.
Katie: Yeah, I was just picking some stuff up to take to the cottage. It's amazing how much you accumulate after awhile. Oh, this move is stressing me out!
Margo: Oh, well, here, let me help you.
Katie: Oh, no. That's okay. I don't need any help.
Margo: Oh, no, no, no. What are sisters for, huh?
Katie: You're just so busy doing other things.
Margo: Oh, but, Katie, if I were stressed beyond belief, you'd help me, right?
Katie: Of course, if it were at all possible. But right now, I really don't need any help.
Margo: What's the matter, Katie? You seem kind of--well, suspicious.
Katie: Me? I'm not the one who's always trying to arrest my siblings.
Margo: I'm not the one who's always breaking the law!
Katie: Well, sometimes the law needs to be broken to do the right thing!
Margo: You wouldn't know "the right thing" if it bit you in your well-toned rear end.
Katie: Would you cut me some slack?
Margo: Well, oh, I don't know, Katie. Oh, Dumbo, what do you say? Should we cut the bad little sister some slack, or should we let her just hang in the wind?
Katie: It's not what it looks like.
Margo: All right, start explaining. Katie, Katie! Where is Parker?
Katie: I don't have to tell you. I'd rather die first.

The Cottage

Lucinda: Katie, who would defend you to her last breath? Katie, who married you on faith and -- chipping away at her confidence in you?
Simon: Look, Katie's trying to convince herself so much that Dahlia's still alive, and this is all a set-up, but--
Lucinda: Well, then clearly -- darling, clearly this was all part of Dahlia's plan. I'm sorry. It's very dusty in here. Do you mind? Do you have anything? Do you have any bottled water? Do you have--
Simon: No, nothing fresh.
Lucinda: Okay.
Simon: Oh, wait, wait, wait. Here we are. Vintage, very fine.
Lucinda: Okay. What is this is? One of these butt-buster drinks, right?
Simon: Butt-busting is what it does after you digest it. But really--it's really not bad.
[Laughter]
Lucinda: Darling, you know I've been watching you. I have a confession to make.
Simon: Really?
Lucinda: Yes.
Simon: Ever since that kiss, you just can't get me off your mind, can you?
Lucinda: Never ever can. No, I--watching you right from the beginning, right from the start, when you were involved with Lily, and I had no reason to trust you. I didn't know what you were doing. And then, of course--then, of course, comes Malta. And you helped me bring my family back. And, indeed, you put yourself in the line of fire to do it, without hesitation and without fear.
Simon: Lucinda, please, this is starting to sound like you're almost praising me.
Lucinda: A wise man would keep that to himself. Are you ready, darling? Are you ready for my off the top of my head advice?
Simon: Absolutely. Please, that's why--shoot.
Lucinda: I think it's time for you to get your hands dirty.
Simon: Lucinda--
Lucinda: Very dirty.
Simon: I cannot afford to make any more mistakes.
Lucinda: Well, darling, you can't afford to let Dahlia have her way.

Craig's Suite

Margo: Where is Parker?
Katie: He's waiting patiently for his mother to come home to him.
Margo: Where is he?
Katie: He doesn't want to go away with Rosanna Cabot! What if she never lets him see Carly again? And what about Hal? Poor Hal, your best friend. You're just gonna take away his precious little angel and give him to some stranger?
Margo: Stranger? She's his family!
Katie: Yeah, but she hasn't seen him ever until the other day. She doesn't know how to raise kids. In fact, Craig probably knows how to raise kids better than she does, regardless of how much money she has.
Margo: She's got a court order.
Katie: Yeah, and I also have a heart. And my heart is not gonna let that little boy go away with her, Margo.
Margo: Katie, you tell me where he is. Tell me where he is.
Katie: He is with the best possible woman who's taken care of people all her life. That's all you need to know.
Margo: Why are you doing this?!
Katie: Why are you acting like the Gestapo of child welfare? Don't you have anything better to do than to rip families apart?
Margo: Yes, as a matter of fact, I do. Jack and Hal are after the psychopath, and I have no idea what's gonna happen to either one of them. And I have a case that I have given all but blood for going before a judge, and I can't be in court. And I have a son who is heartbroken because his girlfriend is on trial for murder, and I can't be there to comfort him. And I have another son somewhere that just flat-out needs his mom. And I have a husband, too, who I haven't touched in god knows how long. I'm ready to scream. And why am I not there for the people that I love? Because tracking down somebody else's kid, because our fat-headed brother can't resist a chance to grandstand for a woman that's probably gonna dump him in the end anyway. And you little brat -- I have saved your butt more times than I care to count. You have the nerve to ask me--
Katie: Ok I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Margo. Please, I'm sorry. I give up, okay? I promise I'll tell you where Parker is if you just promise me that the next time you have a day off, would you just take it off personal day, because nobody deserves it more than you.
Margo: Oh, Katie -- [phone rings] Detective Hughes. Okay. I'm on my way. Well, let's go.
Katie: I was just gonna tell you where Parker is.
Margo: Too little, too late. Come, Katie.
Katie: Wait, hold on, Margo. How'd you find out where he is? Would you say something? You're scaring me.
Margo: If you think I'm scaring you now, wait.

Oakdale Police Department

[Margo walks in dragging Katie behind her]
Margo: Do not say anything. Just keep quiet, keep it down. There's nothing you ca about it. Just come in and sit down and oh, look at this.
Katie: Hey.
Margo: My brother and my sister in cuffs. It's a picture, isn't it? We should make a Christmas card for mama.
Katie: Oh, good thinking. Hey, oh, Mrs. Hughes, I am so sorry. Can you, please, ever forgive me for getting you in trouble?
Nancy: Oh, Katie, I smelled one of your wild adventures when you brought Parker to me and then left. And since you brought him directly to Mrs. "Law and Order" Hughes, I decided that you wanted Mrs. Hughes to handle it. So I handled the situation.
Katie: Oh.
John: Listen, this little guy's startin' to fade. I thought I might take him up to Hal's office, and he could get some rest up there. If that's all right with you?
Rosanna: That's a great idea.
Nancy: I'll keep you both company.
John: Good. Come on, let's go.
Craig: Yeah, you see? Everybody's talking care of everybody else. I think I feel the love.

Rosanna: Oh, of course. You'd be more than welcome to visit. You know I'm staying at The Lakeview?
John: Right. I'll give you a call then. So long.
Margo: Bye, John. Thanks.
Craig: See, all's well that ends well.
Margo: It's up to Rosanna. I haven't filed charges against these two yet. But if you want to take the matter up with the D.A.
Katie: Whoa, whoa, wait, hold on. I can go behind bars for trying to keep a family together? They give awards to people like me.
Margo: And you give ulcers to people like me.
Katie: Listen, you're not really gonna press charges just because I love that little guy enough to know that he should be here when Carly gets home?
Margo: Oh, please, Katie. Just give Rosanna some time to think.
Rosanna: Oh, you mean, it's my decision?
Craig: You wouldn't want to throw the book at a--a guy in love, would you?

The Cottage

Lucinda: Simon?
Simon: Yes.
Lucinda: You know, as a guy who spent most of his life as con man, you more than anyone should be able to analyze a scam.
Simon: Yeah, well, small town life has made me kinda rusty.
Lucinda: However, what Dahlia's up to, seems to me, far more deadly than anything that you've been involved in the past. She's not interested in blackmail. She doesn't want the money back from--
Simon: No.
Lucinda: Monique. So she doesn't want a payoff. What she wants is your life and your happiness. You gotta be ruthless.
Simon: There's one thing, Lucinda. One problem. She's disappeared.
Lucinda: Darling, you international adventurer types, don't you have special techniques for sniffing out the enemy?
Simon: I don't have any enemies anymore. Well, not who would recognize me anyway.
Lucinda: Okay. Let's approach this thing from another angle. In your youth--your misspent youth-- how did you go about it? How did you win the women's hearts whose wallets you coveted?
Simon: Oh, trade secrets. All right, all right. There was always one simple rule. Always give her what she wants. But, then--no. No, that's crazy. I can't give Dahlia what she wants, can I?
Lucinda: Well, that all depends. What are you contemplating?
Simon: Well, if Dahlia's so convinced that I'm a lady killer, maybe that's exactly what I should be.
Lucinda: Kill Dahlia?
Simon: No, no. I'm not talking about Dahlia.
Lucinda: You are very brilliant.
Simon: No, I owe it all to you. You led me all down this path.
Lucinda: No, no, no. You stumbled on the best way for you to save yourself.
Simon: It's the only way. I have to murder my wife.

Katie: To send me to prison because I love that little guy enough to know that he needs to be home when his mom gets home?
Margo: Katie, Katie, Katie! Please, just let Rosanna think.
Rosanna: You mean, it's all up to me?
Craig: Can't throw the book at a guy in love--can you?
Rosanna: How much jail time are we talking about, Margo?
Margo: Well, it's -- it's kidnapping. It's a felony. You do the math.
Nancy: Parker is exhausted, but he won't go to sleep until he has his toy.
Katie/Craig: It's in his Jacket--
Craig: He's a kid. Everything's in his Jacket.
Rosanna: Well, obviously, Craig has taken good care of him.
Katie: So did I. And that little kid loves me. Craig, tell her I'm innocent.
Craig: She's innocent.
Katie: Thanks.
Rosanna: Okay. I won't press charges.
Katie: Yes, yes! Thank you so much. You know what I'm gonna do for you? I'm gonna send you an autographed copy of my workout video--not that you need it.
Craig: Don't grovel, Katie.
Katie: Hey, you're the one that got me into this, all right?
Craig: I appreciate it, Rosanna.
Margo: Officer, unleash Mrs. Frasier.
Craig: Oh, of course, ladies first.
Margo: Oh, no, no, no, no. Craig, you get used to the jewelry. There's still a little matter of grand theft auto.
Craig: Grand? That car wasn't worth a hundred bucks. Anyways, it's mine. I own it.
Margo: You own something that's just shy of a city block, has a little hula girl in front?
Craig: Margo, I'm a man of many tastes.

Margo: You know, Craig, one of these days you're really gonna have to point out that lucky star that you were born under.
Craig: You talked to that cook at Java?
Margo: Yes. He confirmed that you bought the car.
Craig: Yeah, 20o dollars I did.
Katie: All right. Are we ready to go?
Simon: Katie -- Katie, are you all right?
Craig: Simon, join us. Margo's showing us handcuff tricks.
Simon: You weren't arrested, were you?
Katie: Only for like five minutes, but I'm cool now. Why are you here?
Simon: To give a statement about Dahlia to Margo.
Margo: Ah, well, actually, this is gonna take awhile. You can wait in the interrogation room, Simon.
Katie: I'll go with you.
Margo: Oh, Katie, really, it's gonna be awhile. Maybe you should--
Craig: Save your breath.
Katie: I'm standing by my man. Let's go.
Craig: Sierra once had a little Yorkie almost as loyal.

Margo: Well, when did this show up? , My, it's Swiss and still ticking isn't that amazing?
Katie: I found it yesterday.
Margo: Where?
Katie: Uh--
Simon: It's okay. Go ahead.
Katie: Okay. Well, we've been working on the cottage. And I found it near some trash.
Margo: And you just told me about it now. Simon, at the cottage, when Dahlia told you that she was going to send the clippings of monique's death to Katie, could you maybe have grabbed her then, and the watch fell off?
Simon: No. No, I told her to give me the clippings, and she ran out.
Margo: Is there any way that maybe you scratched her or she brushed up against something on her way out?
Simon: Absolutely not. I never laid a hand on her.
Margo: Great. Then we have no explanation for the traces of Dahlia's blood found in her car.
Simon: Look, all I can tell you is the truth. Margo, I never laid a hand on that woman. All the evidence that you have found so far has been planted--even the blood.
Margo: We have the fight at Java. You grabbed Dahlia in front of witnesses. We have the argument at the cottage. We have the watch. We have the keys. You have to get yourself a good lawyer. And do not answer any more questions.
Katie: Wait. Hold on. Margo, this is the guy that you trusted to help you look for three kidnapped women.This is Simon. You know him.
Margo: You know what, Katie? My opinion counts for zero. I'm simply here to gather details, information and put together a case.
Katie: Against your brother-in-law? What a fantastic family.
Margo: Oh, you know, every single morning I wake up, and I ask myself that same question-- "what a fantastic family."
Katie: So much for family loyalty.
Simon: It's not her loyalty I'm worried about, Katie. I'm still wondering why you didn't come home last night.
Katie: I thought I explained that.
Simon: It was the watch, wasn't it? You're afraid to be alone with me. Katie, don't you see Dahlia's winning? Every second that you doubt me is a victory for her.
Katie: No--
Simon: Look, but we can end this. All we have to do is be on the same team, rock solid, no room for doubt.
Katie: I know. I can do that. I swear, I can. I will be the Bonnie to your Clyde. I'll be the Cleopatra to your--what's that guy's name? The salad guy? Caesar!
Simon: Will you be Monique to my Simon? It's simple, Katie. All I have to do is kill you.

Simon: Look, I didn't mean it literally.
Katie: Yeah, well, I really don't feel like dying literally or lliterally.
Simon: Don't you wanna beat Dahlia at her own game?
Katie: Games are supposed to be fun.
Simon: Look, at the moment, Dahlia is off somewhere watching us fall apart, and she's loving every minute of it.
Katie: And what am I supposed to do when I'm dead?
Simon: Well, it depends on how we set up the murder.
Katie: Ah, this is so sick.
Simon: No, it's not! It's not sicker than letting Dahlia get away with this. Come on. We can do it.
Katie: I'm not gonna roll over and play dead for you or anyone else.
Simon: Katie--come here, come here. Listen. We can set this up--

Katie: Simon, what are you doing here?
Simon: Looking for you. I thought when you didn't come home last night, you needed some space. And when you didn't show up this morning, I thought you might be waiting for an apology.
Katie: I don't want to talk about it.
Simon: Why not?
Katie: Because you want to kill me!
Simon: I want to pretend kill you.
Katie: Yeah, pretend, real, whatever--either way, it freaks me out. And I'm not gonna do it. I won't do it.
Simon: Fine. All right.
Katie: What, that's it? Discussion exhausted already?
Simon: Yeah, sure.
Katie: Okay. Good. So everything goes back to normal. See how easy?
Simon: Yeah. Easy. Dahlia stays missing--tomorrow or the next day, another vital clue will probably show up. Maybe her hairbrush in my sock drawer or one of her scarves in my glove box. And if I don't go to jail for killing Dahlia and Monique, then she'll probably come out of hiding to-- [clicks tongue] come straight after you.
Katie: Me? Why?
Simon: To put the final nail in my coffin. It'll probably start out as a near miss -- something to scare the life out of you--a slip or a careless mistake. And if that doesn't work, then she'll -- she'll cut your brake lines, maybe you'll fall off a convenient cliff. You'll end up wounded, suspicious and if I'm extremely lucky, not dead! All because some psycho-witch wants to ruin my life.
Katie: Okay, hold on, Simon. What are you trying to get at?
Simon: If you think that I killed Dahlia and Monique, then the best thing I can do is to warn you to stay as far away from me as you possibly can. I'll deal with Dahlia somehow. But I am not gonna stand around and wait for you to wind up dead. Never.
Katie: Okay, wait! Simon, hold on, please. I would die for you. You know I will. I just need a few reassurances.
Simon: Like what?
Katie: Like I'll leave a beautiful corpse?

Simon: Okay, the perfect spot for a murder--how about the old mill?
Katie: No way! That place is supposedly haunted and last I heard, they found a corpse there.
Simon: Even better.
Katie: You're really enjoying this, aren't you?
Simon: I'm a method actor. All right. If I were a serial murderer out to do away with my sweet young spouse, I'd probably want to choose a quiet spot with a bad reputation, someplace that no one in their right mind would ever visit. Sorry.
Katie: First, could we just talk about what happens after the murder?
Simon: After the -- oh, yeah, you know when you end up--dead, I'm gonna take a photograph, and Lucinda's gonna print it in the "City Times."
Katie: Really? Interesting. And you think Dahlia will just happen to see it?
Simon: Yeah. And Dahlia's gonna think that I'm the prime suspect, and she's gonna come out of hiding to send me to the chair.
Katie: Wow, you really have thought this out, haven't you?
Simon: All except when to do it. How's tonight for you?
Katie: I don't know. I'd have to check my palm pilot to see what was the best night to die.
Simon: Yeah, well, the sooner the better.
Katie: What are you looking at?
Simon: I'm just trying to figure out the best way to kill you.
Katie: Sure sign the honeymoon's over.
[Simon laughs]
Simon: I know--how about I stab you to death?
Katie: Are you--oh, yeah, that's a great idea. Fake blood, ripped clothes. It'll totally look ridiculously fake, and we're not doing that.
Simon: Yeah, you're right.
Katie: How about a nice, quiet poisoning?
Simon: No, no. It's too hard to sell in a photograph. Uh--
Katie: And I guess killing me with kindness is out of the question. You know what? I have a new scarf. We could probably--
Simon: Scarf--perfect! Strangulation! That is--
Katie: You like it?
Simon: I love it! You are so clever, I almost hate having to off you.
[phone ringing]
Katie: Oh. Hello?
Jill: Hello, Katie Frasier, please?
Katie: This is she.
Jill: Katie, this is Jill Scully, the attorney for Simon's late wife?
Katie: Yes, how could I forget? How could I forget a lawyer who drops a big check into my husband's lap, yes?
Jill: Listen, I'm gonna get right to the point, Katie. Your life is in danger.
Kati: I--beg your pardon?
Jill: Can you meet me at a restaurant called the Mona Lisa?
Katie: I don't know.
Jill: You have to. Your life depends on it. Meet me as soon as you can.
[Dial tone]
Simon: That was Jill Scully, Monique's lawyer? What did she want?
Katie: I think you'd better hurry up and kill me before I end up dead.

Katie: So you think Jill was just trying to scare me?
Simon: I don't know what she wants. But we're gonna find out.
Katie: How?
Simon: If she wants to ruin my life, then she's gonna have to deal with me. You stay here.
Katie: Wha--and do what?
Simon: Prepare to die, my sweet. All right, I think I've got everything I need for your photo-- camera, film, gloves.
Katie: Gloves? Why do you need gloves?
Simon: Incriminating evidence. One to leave at the scene of the crime.
Katie: You know what? We should probably just call Margo, just in case you end up in jail for real.
Simon: I'm not gonna go to jail because no one's getting murdered.
Katie: Right. Are you sure this is gonna work?
Simon: If all goes well with Jill, then I'm gonna be able to prove that Dahlia's still calling the shots, therefore, that Dahlia's still alive. And you and I can get back to being deliriously happy. Fingers crossed.
Katie: Okay, wait. Hold on.
[Grabs Simon and kisses him]
Katie: See you the old mill. I'll be the one dressed to kill.

Nancy: Hello, dear.
Katie: Hi, Mrs. Hughes.
Nancy: I just had to come by and apologize for yesterday. When you disappeared after bringing Parker to be with good old law-abiding Nancy, I just figured what you really wanted me to do was to go to the police. So I did.
Katie: It's okay. I know you meant well. We both did.
Nancy: I hope Rosanna didn't press charges.
Katie: No.
Nancy: Then what's wrong, dear?
Katie: Obituaries.
Nancy: You reading them?
Katie: Writing one.
Nancy: Who died?
Katie: Me.

Nancy: I'm sorry, dear, but I thought you said that you were writing your obituary.
Katie: I am.
Nancy: Isn't it a little early to be thinking about that?
Katie: No. Actually, I should be dead in about--oh, I gotta go.
Nancy: Don't you move from that position. I don't care what's happened to you lately. Life is too precious to toss away.
Katie: Of course it is. Why would you--oh, no. I know what you think. You think that I was going to say that I--no, I would never do that. Life is too precious. This is all a ploy to smoke out Dahlia.
Nancy: Dahlia?
Katie: Yeah, remember at my video release party? She was that woman that gave the really nice speech?
Nancy: Oh, the one at whom Simon threw the drink?
Katie: Right, that's her. Well, Simon is pretty sure that Dahlia is setting him up to make it look like he killed her.
Nancy: What?
Katie: Well, obviously, it's a big fat lie. But we're gonna beat her at her own game. We're gonna make it look like Simon killed me so Dahlia will come slithering out of the woodworks.
Nancy: Oh, that's, shall we say, far out?
Katie: It sure is. All right. How do I look?
Nancy: Lovely as usual.
Katie: Thanks. Simon's gonna take a picture for the newspapers, and even though I'm gonna be dead, I want to look good.
Nancy: Well, of course. Who knows who's going to see the picture?
Katie: Right. Oh, you're not gonna turn us in like you did when we were hiding Parker, are you?
Nancy: That was different. A small child was involved in that. But this--if I wanted to turn you in, I don't know how I would explain it.
Katie: Good. All right, it looks like I’m ready to go.
Nancy: Now, you two nuts are going to be very, very careful, aren't you? Because you know, these schemes of yours don't always go as smoothly as you hope.
Katie: Well, that's true. But this one should be different. Simon is going to be proven innocent. Dahlia's gonna be arrested for trying to frame him. And Simon and I are gonna be happier than ever.

The Old Mill

Simon: [Simon notices scratches on his chest] Great. This is just all I need. Come on, Katie, hurry up. Let's just get this whole thing over and done with.

Katie: Simon? Simon, I'm here!
Simon: Blah! I've come to suck your blood!
[Katie screams]
Katie: What the hell are you doing? You scared me. Why did you do that?
Simon: Well, I figured as long as we're doing this, we might as well keep the mood light.
Katie: Well, I'm not exactly in the mood for laughing, okay? I'm a lot more nervous than I thought I'd be.
Simon: Well, no one said dying was gonna be easy.
Katie: Well, that's nice. Did you talk to Jill?
Simon: No, she never showed up. I waited around for about an hour or so, and then I had to come over here.
Katie: What? Oh, that is great. So now I have to die without ever finding out why my life is in danger!

Simon: Look! We know that Dahlia and Jill are in this together. They're just trying to scare you, that's all.
Katie: Well, you know what? They did.
Simon: I know how nerve-wracking this must be for you. Pretty soon, it'll all be over.
Katie: I don't think I like the sound of that.
Simon: You know what I mean. Once we do this and we flush Dahlia out into the open, she's never gonna bother us ever again.
Katie: Okay. It's for a good cause, right?
Simon: Yes.
Katie: Would you just hold me for one second, please? Maybe if we kissed a little bit, I wouldn't be so nervous.
Simon: Oh, you know if we start kissing, then that's gonna lead to another thing. And we haven't got time for that. All right, here we go.
[Simon whistling]
Katie: Uh, could you not be so damn chipper about it?
Simon: Sorry. Now I know why the executioner wore a hood.
Katie: I heard that. Whoa, wait, hold on. What are you doing with the rope? I thought we decided to strangle me. That's why I wore the scarf to match.
Simon: And it's a killer fashion statement. No, I just thought the rope would add a nice little touch of realism. Come here. Hands down.
Katie: Okay. Ah! Don't make it so tight.
Simon: I'm hardly even touching you.
[Simon laughing]
Katie: Wait, hold on, it's a little bit uncomfortable. Simon--
Simon: Okay, okay!
Katie: What happened to your chest?
Simon: What? Nothing. Nothing. I tripped on the way in here and fell in some bushes. Clumsy. Come here.
Katie: But they look like--almost looks like someone scratched you.
Simon: Can we get on with this, please? Come on.
Katie: Okay, okay.
Simon: Come on.
Katie: Ow! Simon, stop it!
Simon: Katie, I can't make it any looser, all right? We gotta do this like--
Katie: Stop it, Simon, please! I don't want to do this anymore!

Katie: I'm sorry, I thought--I know I agreed to do this at the beginning, and I just thought it might be kind of an adventure. But I don't know, I don't feel right about it anymore. This whole thing is really creepin' me out.
Simon: You can't back out now, Katie. Look! Look, everything is set. If it's about the rope, if the rope bothers you, fine, we'll lose it.
Katie: You know, it's not only the rope, it's the phone call from Jill, it's this place, it's the idea of being strangled by my husband
Simon: Pretend. Pretend strangling, Katie. It's a show, a performance. None of this is real. God, I would never hurt you.
Katie: I know. You know I know that. It's just--did you bring the camera?
Simon: Yeah, yeah. I did. I must have left it in the car.
Katie: Well, go get it. Because the faster you take the picture, the faster you can get me out of this.
Simon: You sure you're okay with this?
Katie: Yes, I'm fine. I mean, I guess it's like you said, we can't back out now.
[Simon leaves to get the camera]
Katie: Okay, Katie, just calm down. Take it easy, okay? Simon's not going to hurt you. He married you in front of God and lambs and people. {Katie hears something fall to the floor] A pearl. That's weird.
[Crashing sounds and a body wrapped in a tarp falls from the ceiling]
[Katie screams]

[Katie gasping and screaming]
Katie: Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Simon: Katie, what is it? What? Oh my god.
Katie: It's Jill, the lawyer you were supposed to meet. Is she dead?
Simon: Yeah.
Katie: Oh my God!
Simon: We've got to get out of here. We got to get out of here.
Katie: How did this happen? How did she--
Simon: I don't know! I don't know! We'll talk about it in the car. Come on, come on.
Katie: Shouldn't we put something over her?
Simon: Yes, we should. We should say a few prayers over her, but we haven't got any time. We have to get out of here. Come on. Come on! Come on, come on! Let's go, let's go!
Katie: Hold on. Just wait a second. I don't feel very good.
Simon: All right, sit down. Sit down, sit down. Sit down, please. Put your head between your knees. Put your head--breathe deeply, breathe deeply. Okay, breathe. Better?
Katie: I can't believe this. I just talked to her an hour ago. How did this happen between now and then?
Simon: I don't think we're gonna know the answer to that. But I have a very strong feeling Dahlia is responsible for this.
Katie: Dahlia? Why?
Simon: It's all part of the same thing. She sets me up by staging her own disappearance. Now she's gonna make it look as if I murdered her own lawyer.
Katie: Okay, wait, hold on a second. Hiding her keys in your bag, that's one thing. Even the blood in the car, I can accept that. But murder? I don't think she's capable of that.
Simon: Katie, she is dangerous. She's obsessed. She's crazy! She wants to see me in jail. This is just a part of it.
Katie: Okay. What do we do now?
Simon: All right, for starters, we have got to go. We've got to get out of here. You okay? You all right?

Katie: Yeah, yeah.
Simon: Come on. Come on.
Katie: Hold on.
Simon: What are you doing? What are you doing?!
Katie: There is a dead body in there, I have got to call Margo.
Simon: I can not let you do that.

The Old Mill - Outside

Simon: All right, before we call anyone, we have to get our stories straight.
Katie: What story? There is no story. I'm gonna tell Margo what happened.
Simon: What happened--exactly--was that you sent me off alone to meet Jill. Listen, an hour later, we find her body!
Katie: Okay, all right, yeah. It doesn't do much good for your case, does it?
Simon: Okay, if we bring this attention--if we draw attention to this to Margo, then she's gonna think I not only murdered Dahlia but also Jill.
Katie: Wait, hold on a second. You told me that Margo believed you were innocent.
Simon: She's still a cop, Katie! If the evidence keeps piling against me, then--she's gonna have to arrest me. Come on. Come on.
Katie: What are you doing?!
Simon: We have to get of here! We have to go.
Katie: I thought we were gonna get our stories straight.
Simon: All right. All right, we--we went for a drive. We got a little romantic. We stopped here to be alone. We went in there, and that's when we found Jill's body. That's what we're gonna say. That's it.
Katie: No, I don't like it. I don't like it.
Simon: Why not? That's good!
Katie: Besides the fact that it's a whopping lie?
Simon: It's only for a short time. Once this whole mess with Dahlia clears up, we'll tell Margo the truth. I promise.
Katie: All right, just give me the phone. Should I call her, or do you want to?
Simon: You call her. You call her. I'll put the bag in the car.
Katie: God, but what if he--what--no. Come on, Katie, he's your husband. He would not murder anyone. It's impossible. [ Katie sighs ] , But what if he--what if I--oh, no, I can't go there.

Simon: Did you call?
Katie: Yeah, they're--they're sending two units.
Simon: If it's easier for you, I'll do all of the talking when they get here.
Katie: My biggest concern right now is not how we're gonna lie together. It's--that Jill's body was found in the exact same place that you had planned to stage my murder.
Simon: I know. It bothers me, too. Just a very, very bizarre coincidence.
Katie: Are you sure it's not something else?
Simon: Like what?
Katie: Like maybe Dahlia didn't kill Jill, but someone else who didn't want her to tell me that my life was at risk.
Simon: I'm open to suggestions here. Got anyone else in mind?
Katie: You.

Simon: Katie, you can't believe I killed this woman.
Katie: I don't want to believe it. I want to believe you. I want to believe that someone else is responsible for all of this, but I could really use your help right now.
Simon: And I need yours, too, right now. The cops are gonna be here very soon. I need to be able to count on you.
Katie: I was about to stage my own death so we could smoke Dahlia out. I think that qualifies as supportive.
Simon: Listen, listen, listen. I know things are piling up right now, but all I can say is what I've been saying since Dahlia disappeared--she is the one behind this. Katie, she's trying to make me look bad in front of the cops and in front of you. Please--please, don't play into her hands.
Katie: This is not easy for me. I hate this. I am so confused. I know that you were the only other person who knew where Jill was, and Jill ends up dead. If you didn't kill her--who did?

Simon: If I killed this woman, would I bring you here? Would I let you call the cops?
Katie: I don't know!
Simon: But you have to know! You have to know! The cops are gonna be here very soon asking lots of questions. I can't have you doubting my innocence.
Katie: You used to tell me things, and I could believe you. But then came the first lie when you were working for Margo, and ever since then you have kept a lot of things from me. So is it any wonder that I don't know what's true anymore?
Simon: We are. We are, you and me, our love that we have for each other. That is true, Katie. You have to believe in us. Believe in the life we are trying to build. Believe in the child that we are going to have one day. Believe in that--a little you, a little miniature you playing outside of our cottage. That is true, Katie. That is true. You've got to have faith in us, not in this nightmare that Dahlia's created.
Katie: You're making it sound so easy! But it's not--not when there's a dead face staring at us.
[Sirens wail]
Simon: Oh, God, what are you going to do when the cops get here, Katie? What are you going to do?! I have to know now!
Katie: I don't know! I don't know what to do!
Simon: Are you going to go with our story or not?
Katie: I don't know! Dahlia killing Jill just does not make sense to me.
Simon: Sure it does. It does. Think about it. Jill calls you to tell you that your life is in danger. And then she could--before she can tell you anything, she turns up dead. I think Jill knew what Dahlia was up to, and then Dahlia kills her to just shut her up.
Katie: Okay. Or there's that other possibility--that hen Jill warned me that my life was in danger, she was warning me about you.

Willis: Check the trail leading down to this place. If you find any footprints, may a cast for forensics. It shouldn't be too tough, ground's pretty soft out there.
Police officer: You think this woman was killed somewhere else and then carried here?
Willis: And if I'm right, our killer was most likely a man. The weapon's probably not here, but keep a lookout for something blunt. If you find any hairs, bag 'em.
Katie: Maybe we should just go.
Willis: Detective Willis, Homicide, Milltown P.D.
Katie: Hi, Detective, I'm Katie Frasier. This is my husband, Simon.
Simon: Hey.
Willis: I've got a couple of questions.
Katie: Well, actually, my sister is Margo Hughes. She works for the Oakdale Police Department. I think we should just talk to her.
Willis: Well, she may catch this case eventually, but I'm the first on the scene, so for now you're stuck with me.
Simon: Sure, absolutely. Fire away.
Willis: You're the folks who found the body? Is that right? Mind my asking what you all were doing way out here?
Simon: Well, my wife and I are newlyweds. And we're staying at her brother's place until we get our own fixed up. We just came down for a bit of, you know, romantic alone time.
Willis: Didn't get alone, did you?
Police Officer: Willis? The M.E. needs you to sign something.
Willis: I'll be back.
Simon: Katie, Jill was not calling you to warn you about me.
Katie: That was sure easy for you. You lied to a cop. And it seemed like no big deal.
Simon: What was I supposed to do? Tell him that we came down here to stage your own death?
Katie: But if you just would have started at the beginning--tell them all the stuff about Dahlia and what we think she's doing, they would be after her right now.
Simon: Katie, any lawyer's going to tell you--do not volunteer information to police during questioning. It usually backfires.
Katie: I didn't realize you were an expert on handling police.
Simon: I'm an expert on survival. And trust me, we are going to survive this.
Willis: Mr. and Mrs. Frasier--I'm ready to take your statement.
Simon: [whispers to Katie] You will back me up, won't you?

Simon: So, detective, you had some questions?
Willis: The victim didn't have any I.D. on her. Either of you recognize her?
Simon: As a matter of fact, yeah. Yeah, I do.
Willis: I don't recall you mentioning that before.
Simon: I didn't get a good look at her earlier.
Willis: Who was she?
Simon: Jill. Her name was Jill. Jill Scully. Jill Scully, she was a lawyer.
Willis: How'd you come across her?
Simon: She came into town a few weeks ago and hand-delivered me a check.
Willis: Some kind of claims settlement?
Simon: Actually, it was an inheritance.
Willis: And where'd it come from?
Simon: My former wife, who died in an accident.
Willis: My condolences. You happen to know if Ms. Scully was a local?
Simon: No, she--the address on the check, actually, was from a law firm in California.
Willis: And how about you? Did you ever meet the deceased?
Katie: Just once when she came by the apartment looking for Simon.
Willis: That's one heck of a coincidence.
Katie: What is?
Willis: The only two people this poor woman ever met in Oakdale are the same ones who later find her body.
Katie: I never expected to see Ms. Scully again.
Willis: Especially not dead.
Katie: Definitely not dead.
Willis: One more question. Have you two been together all evening before you got here?
Simon: Yeah, yeah. Yeah, absolutely.
Willis: And how'd your husband get those scratches?
Katie: He--sorry, he fell when we were on the path down here.
Simon: Yeah, I can be--a real klutz sometimes.
Willis: You got to watch out for the undergrowth in these woods, especially at night.
Simon: Tell me about it.
Willis: Need a flashlight to get back to your car?
Katie: No, no, I think we'll be fine. So, that's it? We're finished?
Willis: You can go. But I need to ask Mr. Frasier some more questions. In fact, why don't you leave your car out. I can have one of my men drive you home.
Simon: That's fine. That's fine, Katie. You take the car, I'll--I'll hitch a ride back later.
Willis: Whatever works.
Katie: Okay.
Willis: [ to fellow officer ]We got an I.D. on the body. Let me give you the rundown. [ to Simon ] Don't go away.
Simon: Thanks.
Katie: You're good. You tell just enough of the truth to make it work.
Simon: There's no reason to tell them any more.
Katie: Simon, the guy may seem like some hick cop, but he's not stupid. He's gonna look until he finds everything.
Simon: Katie--just go back and wait for me at the cottage. Please, try not to worry.
Willis: Mr. Frasier?
Katie: I wouldn't have to worry, Simon, if you would just stop lying to me.

The Cottage

[A man is waiting in the darkened cottage. When Katie arrives, he ducks out of sight. Katie turns on the light and sees her coconut from the island just as Henry walks back into the room]
Henry: I love the fixer-upper.
Katie: Henry?!
Henry: You've got a lot of explaining to do, Peretti.

Katie: I don't think it's very polite to just walk into someone's home and start making accusations.
Henry: You flew off and left me to die on that island.
Katie: I never wanted you to die!
Henry: You wanted me to live? Alone on that island for the rest of my life? With nothing but a hermit and inbred birds and not a Fed Ex package in sight? What kind of person are you?
Katie: Henry, I called the coast guard.
Henry: You did not!
Katie: Yes, I did. I'm sure I did, as soon as we got back to the mainland.
Henry: Well, they never came, Katie. I waited. It got dark so I figured maybe there's bad visibility. They'll be there in the morning in their little white shorts. But they weren't there in the morning. Or the next morning. Or the morning after that. And then I thought, "oh, no, no, no. They crashed into the ocean. They never made it to the mainland. Poor Katie and Simon--dead." Oh, and then I cried.
Katie: Oh, that's sweet, Henry.
Henry: And then I thought, "No, nothing can kill you. You're invincible." You crash-landed a plane into a beach, lived. You swam through a school of sharks, lived. You dove after a diamond through razor-sharp reefs, lived. You had the damned diamond wrenched from your hand, lived. Nothing can kill you.
Katie: Oh, I wouldn't be so sure about that.
Henry: Which meant that you'd made it to the mainland and forgotten about me, abandoned me to Mr. Cooley and rotten mangos and poor Simon the coconut.
Katie: You know, those mangoes weren't so bad if you knew when to pick 'em.
Henry: Oh-oh-oh-ah! [threatens to hit Katie with Simon the Coconut]
Katie: You!
Henry: What?!
Katie: You did this!
Henry: What?! What?!
Katie: The dirt, the Dahlia, the dead lawyer--it was all you. Your revenge for getting stuck on that stupid island.

The Old Mill

Simon: [on his cell phone] Yeah, the old mill. That's great. Look, I could really use your advice. Thanks.
Willis: Mr. Frasier? I just have a couple more questions. You mentioned earlier that you and your wife came here on a romantic rendezvous. Is that right?
Simon: Yeah, that was the idea.
Willis: Well, maybe times have changed, but generally speaking, a romantic rendezvous doesn't include box cutters and duct tape. Do you mind telling me what these items are doing in the backseat of your car?

The Cottage

Katie: You were so mad at me for leaving you on that island, you decided to come back and get even. So you swam to shore
Henry: Excuse me, excuse me. I built a canoe. Me, by myself, with my bare hands.
Katie: Just because Simon and I are finally happy gives you no right to come here and destroy it.
Henry: You and Simon are happy?
Katie: Yeah, we got married.
Henry: Oh.
Katie: For real this time. We had a beautiful ceremony. And we are staying married no matter what you try to do.
Henry: No matter what I try--what am I doing?
Katie: You're trying to make me believe that Simon's gonna kill me! If you would just take a little bit of that negative energy and do something positive with it--but, no. You had to go find Dahlia, have her make me an exercise guru, and then--
Henry: Dahlia?
Katie: Dahlia Ventura, your new best friend. Oh, okay, so you're gonna pretend like you don't know her now. That's great. Well, it won't work, Henry. No matter how many dead lawyers you hang from the ceiling, I am not--did you kill Monique, too?
Henry: I thought I had sunstroke.
Katie: Monique, Dahlia, Jill, whatever her name is, and now me. Well, you know what? I am not gonna let you do this. It would kill Simon of heartbreak if you killed me. So it won't work, Henry. Don't even try it.
Henry: Katie, I wouldn't know who this Dahlia is or this lawyer if they were dancing naked on the staircase. Okay?
Katie: So you didn't dig up Dahlia and have her dump dirt on me and Simon? [Henry shakes his head] Then what are you doing here?
Henry: I'm working on a plan that's going to make me very rich, Katie. And I'm not talking about a house and a car and a time share in Vegas, okay? I'm talking about big money. The kind of money that Lucinda Walsh will have to shine my shoes. But I need your help. And you are going to help me, because you owe me.
Katie: So you didn't come here to kill me?
Henry: No. But don't look so disappointed.
Katie: Okay, fine, if you weren't here to kill me, then that means--it snowed at our wedding. Real snow inside the church. And there were lambs. And we were gonna live happily ever after.
Henry: Okay. It's been great catching up. And we need to do this again real soon.
Katie: You don't believe me.
Henry: Now--now you don't start crying, Katie, because you know I can't handle that. Katie, cut it out! This is great. You strand me on a desert island, and now I'm supposed to comfort you?
Katie: You don't understand, Henry. Simon's trying to kill me.

The Old Mill

Simon: Look, my wife and I, we just bought the old Gunnison place. We're fixin' it up ourselves. There's all sorts of contract supplies in the back of the car.
Willis: Your car?
Simon: Yeah, my car. Yeah.
Willis: You led me to believe that you and your wife came here together.
Simon: We did.
Willis: No, sir, you didn't. You arrived first in your car, then Mrs. Frasier arrived in her car.
Simon: Yeah, well, we were here at the same time together--what difference does it make, huh?
Willis: You were here alone before your wife arrived. That gave you ample opportunity to bind Ms. Scully using--
Simon: Oh, please.
Willis: The duct tape we found in your car, murder her and hide the body in the rug.
Simon: Oh, right. Yeah, and then make sure that she gives you a call to report it?
Lucinda: Press pass. Press pass. I'm here to see Simon Frasier, and here he is. Good. Oh--Norman, hello. Are you in charge this evening?
Willis: Yes, Ms. Walsh.
Simon: Lucinda, can we have a word, please?
Lucinda: Norman, he's a mate. If you wouldn't mind--
Willis: Five minutes.
Simon: Look, thanks for coming.
Lucinda: What the hell is going on?
Simon: Katie and I come down here, we find a body--Jill Scully, Dahlia Ventura's lawyer.
Lucinda: Good God, kill all the lawyers. How did she die?
Simon: Apparently, she was hit over the back of the head.
Lucinda: Oh, murdered. Well--
Simon: Yeah, yeah. And your friend Norman here seems to think I did it.
Lucinda: Did you do it, Simon?
Simon: No! No. But what's the bet that Dahlia makes all the evidence point to me? God, I cannot win. Every move I make, she's there first. Norman finds the duct tape in the back of the car that I brought down here to use when we were staging Katie's murder.
Lucinda: I told you that was the silliest idea.
Simon: You did not! You said it was genius.
Lucinda: How many happy geniuses have you met?
Simon: I need your help in explaining this to the police.
Lucinda: No way, darling. This is not gonna fly. You gotta come up with something less creative and more plausible, or indeed, you will end up in jail.

Simon: Jill Scully called Katie earlier to warn her that her life was in danger.
Lucinda: And then Jill ended up dead?
Simon: Yeah, because Dahlia got to her first.
Lucinda: How would Dahlia know about the phone call? Come on. How would Dahlia know that? How would she know that you're gonna be playing murder games here with Katie?
Simon: I don't know. She's probably got our cabin bugged, the phones, the cars.
Lucinda: Can you prove that?
Simon: Well, I can prove that she was in our cabin, 'cause she left the watch and her keys there.
Lucinda: Oh, Simon, that makes you look more guilty, not less.
Simon: I don't care about myself. I'm worried about Katie, okay? I have to convince the cops that the threat to her is real.
Lucinda: Oh, I do believe that you have done that, darling. And they're gonna put you away in jail. And behind bars, dear, I don't know how you can protect Katie. You're clever, but not that clever.
Simon: All right. So we need more proof.
Lucinda: Well, I don't know. I think you need more proof if you're gonna go to the cops, yes. On the other hand, the Oakdale police--I don't know. All they do is let comatose criminals walk around, get away, escape.
Simon: Look, if I could find Dahlia, I could do it. But I have to find her before she gets to Katie.
Lucinda: Who cares if she does? She's inundated Katie with newspaper clippings, with sob stories. What else can she do to her?
Simon: Kill her, and lay the blame on me.

The Cottage

Henry: You agreed to stage your own death? Why?
Katie: Because Simon said it would be--would be the only way to smoke out Dahlia out. She would believe that I was dead, and then she would come after him.
Henry: And we know Dahlia's still alive because Simon says?
Katie: She's the only one with an agenda. See, Simon inherited her dead sister's estate.
Henry: Mm-hmm.
Katie: Her dead lawyer issued him a check. I know because I saw it. And so she thinks that Simon killed her sister for the money, which he didn't.
Henry: And we know this because?
Katie: Simon said, and I believe him. Which drove Dahlia completely insane. So that's why she tried to stage her own death so that I would believe Simon killed her to keep her quiet. And then she had her stupid lawyer come to me and tell me that I was in danger and that I needed to come meet her so she could tell me why.
Henry: Okay, did the lawyer offer any kind of proof?
Katie: Well, I didn't end up meeting her, because Simon said it was too dangerous. So he met with her.
Henry: Oh, he met with her? Hmm. And the next thing we know, she's hanging by her pearls from the rafters? Are we beginning to see a pattern here?
Katie: Yeah. Dahlia. She hates Simon so much, she'll do anything to get back at him.
Henry: Like fake her own death and then kill a lawyer? Katie, wake up and smell the cappuccino. How many bodies is it gonna take?
Katie: Simon loves me. I know he does.
Henry: Yeah, Katie, in your world, people that love each other don't kill each other. But Simon's in it for the money. We know this about him. He's a con man. And let me tell you, cats like that don't change their spots. Now the dead lawyer was right, Katie. You're in danger. We've gotta get you away from hubby dearest tonight.

The Old Mill

Willis: I just thought your friend here should know, the ADA has decided to transfer this case to the Oakdale P.D.
Lucinda: Oh, really?
Willis: Mr. Frasier's free to go.
Lucinda: Oh, my heavens, that's wonderful. Thank you, Norman.
Willis: It wasn't up to me. And I'd advise your friend not to go very far. Because the guys in Oakdale are going to have all kinds of questions.
Lucinda: Oh, well, I'm--I'm sure that Mr. Frasier is going to be cooperating fully in any way he can with the police. Right?
Simon: Yeah.

The Cottage

Katie: Simon would never kill me for real, Henry. It's all part of the plan.
Henry: Like lying to the police?
Katie: You don't know him.
Henry: No, you're right. I don't know him, Katie. But I do know that he came to Oakdale looking for a diamond. And that because of that diamond, he lied to Lily Snyder, he lied to her sister. His marriage to you was a lie--
Katie: [plugs her ears and starts singing] 99 bottles of beer on the wall 99 bottles of beer
Henry: Katie, I'm trying to save your life.
Katie: I appreciate that, Henry. But the thing is, you don't know him. He has changed. He doesn't care about money anymore.
Henry: Oh-oh.
Katie: Look around at this place. Look at it. Would some gold digger go into the middle of the woods and buy some shack?
Henry: Wait, he bought this love shack?
Katie: Yes.
Henry: You didn't pick it out?
Katie: No. What?
Henry: Well, gosh, you know, if I was gonna off my wife, I think out in the woods would be the place to do it. Katie, this is perfect for him. He can hit you with a two-by-four, and no one would know it for weeks. Is that what you want?

Katie: Simon is not trying to kill me, he's trying to protect me.
Henry: From who? The dead Dahlia? The dead lawyer? Or maybe the dead sister, Katie? I bet she's a lot of fun at a funeral--yours--unless you smarten up and take the money and run. 'Cause Simon is not gonna stop until he gets his hands on your estate. I know that's not what you want to hear, but I'm worried about you out here all alone. Anything could happen.
Katie: I can take care of myself.
Henry: Katie, you are my hero. You really are. But you versus Simon? You love him. That makes you very vulnerable. So until the cops figure this whole thing out, we've gotta get you out of here. If not -- if he gets you off alone by himself, he could kill you.
Katie: That's him. That's his car. You're gonna see how much he loves me. Just stay--get back there.
Henry: No, not until I know that you are safe. Come on!
Katie: Put that down! Go, get back there! Come on. Hurry. Shut up! [Henry gets out of sight and Simon walks in] Hey! What happened after I left? What did the cops say? Did they believe our story?
Simon: We can't stay here anymore. Katie, we have to leave Oakdale--tonight.