Figuratively Speaking Literally.

By: Jillian

I'm sitting in my senior Technical Communications class, drawing pictures and trying to block out the assholes around me. These two girls sitting close by are discussing religion and I can't help but listen to their drivel. One of the girls is Baptist (one of the worst in my opinion; next to the Mormons of course) and the other girl is Catholic (gay priest anyone?). The Baptist chick is telling the other girl about saving people at her church. This completely intrigues me. She's talking about herself like she's superior to everyone else; like she has a right to simply pity everyone that isn't like her. The other girl constantly nods in agreement at everything the Baptist chick says and I wonder if she even understands what is being told to her. I continue to draw and try to ignore them. All I hear are little bits of what she's saying...."Someone who isn't saved, will go to hell." I look up at her and contort my face in digust, she looks at me confused. I don't see why she is confused considering she knows my stance on the subject. "I can't believe you just said that." I say to her. She looks smug now. "Why?" She says. "It's true." I start shaking my head and say to her, "How do you know? And what is hell anyway...." "It's a firey place of sin and torture...Where you pay for your sins..." "Yeah...sure..." I say and look back down at what I'm doing. "I think you interpret things to blatently..." The Catholic girl is giving me dirty looks, as usual, (we have problems...lol...I made her freak out once, she got so mad at me...). "Do you want to know where different languages came from?" This question right here is now the reason I am writing this. This was something I never thought I could possibly hear out of a person. Actually, this was something that made me almost have an anuerism I was laughing so hard. "Sure..." I lean back in my seat and wait for something brilliant to come forth. "Well..." She adjusts her WWJD shirt and continues. "One time, long ago, everyone spoke the same language. Some Babylonians were curious what heaven was like so they decided to construct a rocket to get there (I find out later that in the actual story, they were building some stairs to heaven...either way, it's completely nonsensical) God finds out that they're trying to get to heaven so he makes it so that everyone speaks different languages. This way, they can't communicate to build the rocket (stairs...giant fucking trampoline...whatever it was...).... She finishes this story and I am left sitting there with my mouth hanging open. I couldn't believe that someone had just told me that... in a serious way...too serious. I had been half expecting a punch line at the end, at least that would have been appropriate as opposed to insulting my intelligence with some falacy. She actually thought I would buy that? Better yet, she actually buys that??? "I can't believe you just said all that..." "Why? I read it in the bible." "Yeah, I can tell..." Wow. I will always remember this, I think to myself. You know, I really don't hate the idea of religion. I suppose it's good for some people to have something to believe in. The thing that truly bothers me is the people that go nuts about it. They take everything so literally. Even things that completely defy nature and scientific fact. And in a debate with overly religious people, look out! They will never listen to your side. Inside they think they're right about it all. There's no other alternative to the opinion of this type of fanatic, and if you actually get one of these people to admit otherwise, tell me. In my case, I have seen all sides and interpreted everything accordingly. I look at things for truth and not out of fear. There is no way I will ever worship something based soley on a large group of people telling me to. I've been told that I will suffer eternal damnation after I die, and I don't care. There is so much more to life then denying yourself and giving everything to something else. I will be selfish and not feel the need to dedicate my life to someone, especially someone who I can't see, talk to, make fun of, laugh at, fight with, or hang out with. And I've heard it all, every single argument, and it will never change my mind. People like these two girls will ultimately suffer in the end when they find out how judgemental this god of theirs is. They'll realise that they could have enjoyed so much more in living, then in waiting and preparing for death.