Bad Ideas.
By: Jillian
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There are way more bad ideas out there than good, ever notice that? It pisses me off because bad ideas are usually..well..illegal.
Here I will document bad ideas that I think of just for the sake of sharing them.
Bad Idea #1 - Zombie NASCAR racing. Step One; Get zombies. Yeah, I know, zombies don't exist...yet. I think I figured out how to make them though *rubs chin in thought* I won't reveal the formula to making zombies, but I'll tell you one thing, it isn't easy. Step Two; Get Them racing! Take the walking undead, kick them a few times, then shove them in the driver's seat of some Formula One racer, and watch them go! Oh the glory of zombie racing. They'll crash into eachother. They'll make funny zombie noises. They'll even attack a racing fan or two. The main interest here is that they're driving an automobile. I can imagine it now... Step Three; Profit. Every good scheme has to end in money. This one happens to appear quite lucrative in my eyes. Who the hell wouldn't want to see zombies race cars into a fiery fate of twisted metal and groaning, missing body parts, fully dead-alive corpses eating eachothers brains and whatnot. Seems quite invigorating to me. lmao! Bad Idea #2 - My Get Rich Quick Scheme. Step One; Gathering your resources. Here is a list of things you'll need to pull this elaborate plan. *Two U-Haul trucks *No concience *Incindiary devices *Shrapnel pieces *A large, fully accessable field; empty *A rich target Step Two; Midget Riot! First, go to China and get your midgets. Promise them a great life in America, maybe even some hot chicks, it's up to you. Bring them back and take them to the rich person's house; do not enter. Now, have the midgets start a riot outside so as to scare the rich people away from their house. Have the midgets go in and take all valuables. This is where the two trucks come into play. Have them put all the stolen goods in one truck, then put the midgets in the other. Drive the van with the midgets to the field. Okay, here's the important part. Use the incindiary devices, armed with shrapnel, to coat the bottom of the truck with. Blow up the truck, killing all the midgets, and get away without fullfilling your promise. Step Three; Profit. You've got all kinds of free stuff now. Make sure to pawn it off in a place where there's no questions asked and everything should be okay. Hell, even if this doesn't work out as planned you still get to see midgets riot. :) Bad Idea #3 - Powdered Water. Just add water!! And BLAM! there's a tall cool glass of "you're a fucking idiot". Bad Idea #4 - Hassel the Police Point a bb gun at a pig and see what happens...I dare ya! *WARNING* I suggested a bb gun because if you happen to not get shot you can play it off all innocent like. Bad Idea #5 - King Cooler's Monkey Plan It all sounds good in theory, don't get me wrong, but damn that would be crazy. I'm sorry but I don't think that giving primates weapons of any kind is a good idea, ESPECIALLY guns..*smacks forehead*...I say, leave the mass slaughter to the zombies.. Bad Idea #6 - SUVs This isn't something I thought of exactly, obviously, because if I had I would be one rich bitch right now. My reason is that giving a bunch of high-strung, power trippin, got twenty kids in the back, feeding the youngest McDonalds french fries with one hand, talking on their cell phone with the other, I can't steer this crazy boat of a car, yuppies vehicals that can crush any regular car in a split second IS A HORRIBLE, TERRIBLE, FUCKED UP, CRAZY IDEA!!! It's frightening really...it starts raining or something and they're all over the damn road, bobbing and weaving like they've just consumed a bottle of MD... Bad Idea #7 - Get Rich Scheme vol.2 Step one; get a degree in Veterinary Medicine. Step Two; When people bring their animals in for checkups or whatever, secretly slip a small explosive in behind their pet's eyes. Once all have been rigged, start igniting the explosives via remote control with tons of buttons. One by one people's pets will start blowing up all over, the owners frantically searching for a reason. Suddenly, a Vet steps up (you) saying that they know what the cure is and for a small fee ($4,000) you can cure them before any more start dieing. Damn this is a good..er..bad..idea. Step Three; Profit BIG.
That's all the bad ideas I remember at the moment, which figures because when I need to remember all the bull-shit that goes through my head constantly I can't. If you happen to have an
exceptionally bad idea that I should probably add here to make this list look worse, email me about it...don't be afraid...I won't bite...usually.....
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