Lost In Adoption by M. Haviland
I have always known I was adopted. My adoptive parents never tried to
keep it a secret. Many people in our neighborhood knew too, and told their
children, who in turn, teased me constantly. Going to school, I was taunted by
children that I thought were my friends. They told me that my mother gave me
away because there was something wrong with me. Being too young to think of any
other reason, I believed them. Looking back now, I see myself as a shy,
insecure, little girl, who just wanted more than anything to fit in, and to be
like everyone else.
As I grew up, questions began to surface: Why were my
adoptive parents listed as the birth parents on my birth certificate? Why were
there no court records for me to look through? Where was the consent to adopt
from my birth mother? Why did no one want to talk about it? Who was I and how
did I get here?
My mom would tell me the same story over and over. She
flew to Miami and went to a woman's house in Coral Gables. Ruby gave her the
baby (me) and would not tell her anything about the birth mother except that she
was a young college student studying art and music. This story never made any
sense to me. Where did Ruby get me from? Why was she handing out babies? Who
delivered me? Why didn't I have a birth certificate like everyone else's? There
were no answers for me.
Vacationing in Florida in my mid-twenties, I
decided to look for myself. I remember driving down the street in Miami that was
listed as place of birth on my birth certificate. I got out and found the exact
address, only to see that the clinic was long gone. I sat down on the sidewalk
and cried. The only other name on the certificate was Katherine M. Cole, listed
as a witness to the birth. I had no idea who she could be and could not locate
her. My search seemed to be at an end even before it had started. Several years
later, relatives vacationing in Florida spoke to Ruby's daughter and she gave
them the name of another adoptee who had come looking. I took her number, but
didn't call her because I was told that she didn't find anything either. For
many years, I tried my best to forget about the whole thing, but the empty
feeling never went away.
One night, my husband and I saw another adoptee
being interviewed on tv. Rob called her and told her about me. She asked where I
had been born. Rob told her that I was born in Miami. She then asked if the name
Katherine M. Cole was on my birth certificate. Astonished, Rob told her that it
was and she then said that I was known as a Cole baby. We had never heard that
term before. We later learned that Cole ran one of the biggest black market
adoption rings in the country from 1927 to 1963 in Miami, Florida. I was in
shock for about 2 weeks. Black market adoptees are sold to their adoptive
parents by unscrupulous doctors, lawyers, and other individuals. My parents had
never mentioned paying money for me. I confronted my mom about this, and she
admitted that yes, they did have to pay for me. It made no difference to me. I
was happy to finally have some information. I was no longer nobody…I was a Cole
baby! I ran to the phone and called the girl whose number I had kept all those
years. She told me there had been articles written about Cole babies in the
Miami Herald 5 years prior, sent me copies, and gave me the names of some other
Cole babies.
Knowing there were others, I decided to track them down.
Armed with my list of Cole babies, I hunted the internet registries for more. I
wrote letters, and made phone calls. 3 weeks later, I had my own list of Cole
babies, and decided we needed a place to come together. Hence, the birth of the
Cole Baby Registry on the internet. I was dismayed to learn that many people did
not know about black market adoptions: the sale of babies for profit. I found
several other black market adoptees on the internet who were not adopted through
Cole. They felt that they really didn't fit into the existing registries due to
the lack of information about their births. My friends Susan and Peggy have put
up a new registry for all black market adoptees, which Susan now runs. I have
also started a black market mailing list for anyone touched by black market
adoption. The list is comprised of black market adoptees, registry owners, birth
mothers, siblings, and other relatives looking for people lost in black market
adoption. Typical letters come in saying things like: " I thought I was alone,
but now I know there are others like me. Thank you." It is a healing place for
many of us, myself included. I enjoy helping other people and it has made me
feel very good inside. I have met so many wonderful people online since I
started this and it is through their love, hard work, and support, that we are
finally getting our message across.
Cole is alleged to have destroyed her
records after leaving behind an estimated 1,000 adoptees who have only her
falsified birth certificates to attest to their existance. Most of us were never
legally adopted. There is no paper trail to follow, no court records to
petition, no agency to request information from. The only chance we have to find
our birth families and for them to find us, is if someone comes forward with
information. People now know we are searching, and if they are looking too, it
will be easy for them to find us at last.
The sale of babies is both
immoral and illegal. Through my list, we are trying to get media attention to
the plight of black market adoptees and hope to educate the public so that
better laws can be passed to punish those caught selling babies for profit.
Sadly, this practice still continues to this day. Please help us to spread our
message in any way you can, so that the children of tomorrow are never faced
with the same emptiness and years of searching that we are going
through.
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