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This
is a monologue I wrote shortly after I started my affair with Evil Richard.
I was pretty fucked up at the time, not knowing what was right or wrong,
and bloody confused. It smarts to read this now, years on, and it's
hard not to feel sorry for myself. Dated 07-01-99.
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and to see everything I have lying down. what boundary hath this, really, truly, my mind on paper? candida, candida, toffee apples no disguise for what you hide so long so far from yourself, do you not think he knows? what option but nakedness in this place crazy (crazy! like a fox) diamond in the sky IT'S NOT ME I would know for certain I could volunteer my spirit what a hypocrite I am to see me cold and to see me shamed, a third of my life gone (the other third broken in two, the remaining flabby and unexercised...). you have not prepared for tonight's lesson poindexter vanish now what further inspiration - and so I sit able to leap tall buildings in a single bound if I had only spoken to you this night. what freezes my heart? there is but one love thy face yet why do I see it in rice and corned beef is now the time for tears? (they weren't home when I was broken) cellphones cost money and there's no such thing as a free lunch buddy, try rebutting that poplar tree. but, I'm so tired but, I'm so ugly, hey wait the cricket's on! (irony being) my love is far greater, I'm just too scared to get out of bed. I LOVE HIM but I don't understand that at all, theoretically on the whole of the moon, I should hate him we could never live in this world together and be happy. there will be none but for once I am not the fool, not at this riverbend at least - don't you wait here until morning (take the second star to the right...) or once again I will hurt your heart, let me fail in private so you can see I can be worth every penny YOURS TO INTERPRET AS YOU WILL |