The Dole Army
Host
Part in bracket from memory
{And now to more people who don't work and it} has nothing to do with a big lottery win. They simply don't believe in working or paying taxes. Instead, they know how to rout the system, so they can live off the taxes everybody else pays. And now they're using the internet to teach others how to get away with it.
(story starts)
Dole Army:
John Howard wouldn't know a battler if he reversed over one in his limousine.
Voice Over:
They call themselves the Dole Army and they say they're on the march.

Dole Army:
We have members in Sydney, Brisbane, Perth, Darwin, Adelaide, Albury Wadonga
Voice Over:
They choose not to work, instead most collect the dole. Home is a secret underground tunnel.
Reporter:
Why live down here underground , not with the rest of us up there.
Dole Army:
We can't afford to, you know, some of us have no welfare whatsoever, because we have no addresses, because some of us are homeless because they've lost jobs.

Reporter:
Other people live up there, who haven't got money
Dole Army:
Yeah well, more and more are coming down here, you know, do your sums, add it up,
Reporter:
So the movements growing is it?
Dole Army:
Absolutely
Dole Army:
(Introduces themselves, including "nobody, nowhere")

Voice Over:
At meetings like this, they talk tactits, recruitment and how to extract more money from tax-payers and survive.
Dole Army:
(In dumpster, examine leaves)
(then back underground)
Finished the dumpster chart, pretty much identified every dumpster in Melbourne.
(In dumpster)
Box of cordial, great!
A whole box full of chocolate!
Voice Over:
What the dole mean to you? (hard to hear)
Dole Army:
It's about Aussie mateship. It's about the fact that the Toorak bludgers own everything and give us the crumbs. And we're not satisfed with their crumbs.
(back to underground)
Reporter:
When did you last work?
Dole Army:
This is... This interview is getting focused so much on...
Reporter:
(interrupting)
No no no no but
Dole Army:
(continuing)
what we do to look for work and so forth... (continues under Voice Over:)
Voice Over: -
Talk about work and the Dole Army, claiming a membership of 70, gets defensive.
Dole Army:
It's not like we've been leaching off the welfare system for _years_ or anything. I choose not to work. Now, I seen how badly workers get treated. I chose to fight against that.
Voice Over:
The main weapon of the Dole Army is the internet. This isn't just a recruiting drive, it's a beginners guide on how to scam the system.

Dole Army:
400 hits in the last fortnight, 16 emails.
Reporter:
You mention in the website; scams. What does that mean?
Dole Army:
Survival.
Dole Army:
We think human survival is important and people should survive by what means nessesacy.
(cuts to - Tony Abbot in suit, tie in a well lit room in front of books)

Tony Abbot:
Anyone who does, uh, claim entitlements, uh, claim a benefit to which they're not entitled is breaking the law.
(cuts to - hand on computer mouse, shots of website)
Voice Over:
The natural born enemies of the dole Army of the rich, the powerful and government. The man in (sic) head of their hit list is Employment Minister Tony Abbot.
(Underground)
Dole Army:
Tony Abbot is a babbling moron.
Dole Army:
A professional lair.
Tony Abbot:
(laughs) Ahh look, I have thick skin and I've been called worse, ha.
Reporter:
Now, work for the dole, what do you think of that, the 3 of you?
Dole Army:
Pathetic!
Dole Army:
Absolutely ridiculous...
Dole Army:
Hitler would have loved it.
(cuts to)
Tony Abbot:
They think they're being smart. I think they're being smart alec.
Voice Over:
Minister Abbot put aside the affairs of state to tour the Dole Army's web-site.
Tony Abbot:
If these people put as much energy into finding work and into building a career as they've put into building their web-site, I think that, uh, they'd go a long way.
(cuts to walking in the dark underground.)
Reporter:
So why don't you show your faces?
Dole Army:
Well, we don't trust the media. We don't trust the society up there.
Reporter:
Are you trying to hide something by hiding your faces?
Dole Army:
Figure it out for yourself.
(cuts to-)
Tony Abbot:
You know my name and, ha, you can see my face. And I'm making a case and I think that if they wish to engage in constructive dialogue they should do like-wise.
(cuts to - underground)
Reporter:
What do you think John Howard would think of you people?
Dole Army:
Well obviously, I think he'd come out with statement such as "they're un australian", "they're this or that","they bludgers" but we say no, you're the one who's un australian, you're the one who's attacking working people everyday.
(cuts to - outside picking leaves, talking about making a stew with them)
Voice Over:
They won't show us their faces and they won't tell us their names, but the Dole Army did agree to show us where they gather for meetings. A watery cavern by the Yarra. Right under the noses of the very people they most despise: the rich of Toorak.
(outside)
Reporter:
You're down on the people from Toorak, arn't you
Dole Army:
Sure am, it's a state of consciousness. It's the consciousnes of "what can I get by ripping off other people"

Reporter: (arms crossed)
A lot of people who living in, uh, working in Toorak work very very hard.
Dole Army:
If you think someone on their mobile phones having a chat to their stockbroker is going to work, well, I just think that's nieve.
Reporter:
But not everyone's like that in Toorak. I can tell you...
Dole Army:
They mow their own lawns, do they?
Reporter:
I know some people who do actually.
Dole Army:
Well, great, that's a really great contribution to society, mowing their fantastic huge lawn in front of their fantastic huge mansion they never built but exploited other people to build it.
(cuts to-)
Tony Abbot:
I think that, uh many of us go through a phase of life where we are instinctively disrepectful, instinctively rebellious, instinctively cynical but mostly it's a passing phase and I hope that members of the Dole Army pass thru it.
(cut to-)

Reporter:
I work really hard. Half of my salary goes into taxes every week, I can promise you that. I work really hard. Sometimes too hard.
Dole Army: (off screen)
You can this hard work -
Reporter:
Yeah, it is hard work sometimes. Not all the time but why should I support you?
Dole Army: (off screen)
You're not supporting me -

Reporter:
Yes I am. You're getting the unemployment benefit, my taxes paid for that.
Dole Army:
Why don't you pay us for this interview? You're getting paid for it, we're not. If this is working and you're getting paid for it, where's our money?
Voice Over:
You might be interested to know that these members of the Dole Army get their Unemployment rations courtesy of you - the tax payer. And they promise they're doing all they can to get ours to enlist.
Dole Army:
Unemployment is here to stay. And as long as the dole queues are growing, out organization will be growing along with them.
(story ends)
Host:
Martin King there from Melbourne and let me assure you that we did not pay anyone from that charming and courageous pack back in the Dole Army.
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