Libertad
Disclaimers: I own nothing.
Set on the journey back to England after 'The Duchess and the Devil'.
There was a rose lying on his pillow. Horatio looked at it and then picked it up. It had been made by folding a piece of paper, and was lying on another heart shaped piece. It would seem that he had an admirer - but who? He thought of Kitty and smiled, but it was a style of admiration unlikely of either Kitty or the Duchess. He kept turning the flower around in his hands. This then meant that the admirer was male. He sat down on the bed and held it in his hands, unsure what he felt about a man, well, thinking of him in that way. He could neither seem to feel either way about it, neither disgusted not flattered. Kitty chose this moment to walk in, saying "You seem troubled, Mr. H." Taking in the sight of the rose she said "Ah, you seem either to have some hidden depths or an admirer."
"I am afraid it is the latter. I suppose it would be too much to hope that the admirer is you madam?"
"Afraid not, far too subtle for my tastes." She smiled. "This does mean that whoever is impressed enough with you to spend such time on that is male."
"Unless this is a prank being played upon me."
Kitty examined the rose. "With the amount of time that would have gone into making this? I doubt it. Now you must find out who it is. Any possible candidates?"
Horatio shook his head. "None come to mind."
"I thought a young man such as yourself would have many names to suggest. None?"
He shook his head. "No. And I do not wish to dwell on it madam."
***********
Archie stole away from his hiding place. He had left the rose when he had come off duty and had watched until Horatio had come back, and had crept into listening distance when Kitty had entered the cabin. Now he just wanted peace to cry, the words 'I suppose it would be too much to hope that the admirer is you madam?' almost physically cutting into him. What had he expected anyway? That Horatio would declare his undying love for him? What was he thinking, after Horatio had asked him in the prison whether he had a sweetheart back home; he'd just wanted to laugh, loving and hating him so hard at the same time. Archie found his way to the hiding place he had made his own in one of the holds, curled into a foetal position and sobbed.
***********
It was night and Horatio was standing at the rail looking out to sea. Archie had been avoiding him for the past few days now and it was beginning to worry Horatio. He could barely make eye contact with him, and whenever he entered a room Archie left it. The separation of their rank had meant that they now naturally spent less time together, but still Horatio felt close to Archie, close enough to warrant spending such time on him the prison to provoke rumours among the men. He sighed. That though had been more guilt than anything else - he had let Archie quite literally drift away once before and had been damned if he was going to do it again.
"Penny for yer thoughts Mr. H?"; the duchess intruded into his reverie.
Horatio decided to tell her. It was easier to unburden yourself upon a woman, and she had proved herself most trustworthy. "Mr Kennedy is no longer speaking to me."
"Have you done something to offend him?"
"Not that I can see."
"And how long has this been going on?"
"Perhaps a few days."
The Duchess was silent for a moment, thoughtful. "Would that be since you found that rose in your cabin?"
Horatio looked at her, searching for words "Madam, are you suggesting... do you think... I mean, Archie..."
"Would by all impressions walk over hot coals for you. The question is, does he want to do something more for you?"
Horatio looked gobsmacked. "Are you accusing my best friend of, of being a sodomite?"
"I am accusing no-one sir. Perhaps you could say that I do not feel that that is a matter to be accused of, but anyway - you are a logical man. The only person whose behaviour towards you has changed since you found that rose is Mr Kennedy. I leave you to make deductions." She turned and went below, leaving Horatio looking out to sea, bewildered. Her explanation was the only one which made sense, and while the concept of a man desiring him left him ambivalent the concept of his best friend as, as, well, as one who had designs on him, left him feeling sick. He had shared a bed with him on shore leave, had shared his deepest thoughts with him, and all for that to be betrayed, to know that Archie had never been driven by friendship but only by lust. The question now was how to find out if this were true and then if it was what to do about it. He was out of prison and now everything should have been plain sailing but this was another unexpected storm that threatened to blow him off course.
***********
The next night Archie stood at the prow of the ship, feeling the wind in his hair and watching the stars. He had seen how Horatio had looked at him through the day, the almost pure hatred in his eyes and knew what was coming. He just wondered how the retribution would come. After all Horatio had seen enough of the beatings Simpson had given to be able to deliver a harsh one himself, secure in the knowledge Archie could never report it to the captain for fear of exposure. Tears stung Archie's eyes as he thought of his own stupidity. He had willingly delivered into Horatio's hands the kind of control Jack had exerted over him. Except now it was different. Prison had shown him a different way out; starvation would be noticed on board ship but there was nothing that could be done about a drop from the mast until it was too late. He tried unsuccessfully to choke back the tears, to watch the stars for the last time.
"Mr Kennedy." A voice from behind him. He half turned to confirm it was Horatio, then looked back. No longer calling him by his first name.
"I am sorry. I should have told you in prison, then you would have not had to waste your time saving a worthless life."
"Told me what?" Less of a question than a statement. Horatio wanted to hear this from Archie's own mouth.
"That I love you."
Silence. Archie could not stop himself from sobbing but still wanted to explain himself. "Horatio, if there was anything I could have done about this I would have done. Do you think I chose this? I am sorry that I am such a coward that I never told you, and so selfish that I never applied to transfer to another ship, I..."
"A transfer? You, sir, do not even belong in the navy with such predilections."
Archie half sneered and half laughed. "And how long will you last with a navy career with an attitude like that? Although being that you are seemingly oblivious to such things around you I doubt that it would matter. You never even noticed Simpson was raping me, you thought it was just the beatings, and well, I was damn well the only thing between you and him. I fucking well protected you and now you can't even look at me!" Archie was now looking directly at Horatio, almost shouting, and could see the anger in Horatio's face, and something else, almost fear as well.
"Why did you not tell me?" The tone was flat and measured with suppressed anger.
"Why do you think? I wanted to protect you. I suppose that will have to go on my list of life regrets, not that it has much spare room on it!"
Horatio looked as if he was going to hit him, but then dropped his hand and spat "I do not even wish to touch you. You disgust me." He then turned on is heel and went below, leaving Archie to sob at the stars once more. He stood for a couple of minutes, composing himself and then, ensuring that he was not seen, began to climb the rigging.
***********
Horatio paced below, his head spinning. He did not want to acknowledge what he had just heard. He never wanted to see Archie again, but had no wish to transfer ships, and for all that he had said he could not bring himself to send his friend to the gallows. He stopped when he realised that he was still thinking of Archie as a friend. How could he be a friend after what he had just said? But then a small rebellious voice within Horatio said, how could he not be a friend? Do you really think you would have survived the Justinian without him? Horatio wanted to quash the thought, but he seemed out of control, the voice continuing, and what exactly were your motivations in saving him in Spain? Horatio strode towards the deck again, needing air to clear his head, still angry.
He walked on deck, unaware of his own surroundings, until a voice broke his reverie.
"Mr Hornblower!"
He turned and saw the captain. "Sir."
"You seem agitated. I take it this is the result of your argument with Mr Kennedy?"
Damn! He was sure that no one had seen them. "Yes, sir."
"And would you care to tell me what this argument was about?"
"No, sir."
"Mr. Hornblower, that was not a request."
Horatio remained silent. The captain continued. "Disobeying direct orders Mr Hornblower?"
"Sir, it is a personal matter, I.."
"It is a matter for the captain if one of his officers seems on the point of striking a brother officer. I will not tolerate such violence aboard my ship, and I demand an explanation."
"I...we..."
Horatio was interrupted by the sickening splash of a body hitting the water. "Archie!" he cried, knowing without having to see. He did not stop to think but went over the side of the ship.
***********
Pellew looked at the two crewmen in his cabin, now having been dried out and presented to him. Kennedy was still coughing from the inhalation of seawater and looked ill and sullen.
"You threw yourself from the rigging."
A statement. "Yes, sir."
"You are aware of the penalties for making yourself unfit for duty?"
"Yes, sir."
Pellew let his anger have full rein. He was not prepared to have himself deprived of officers over some spat between them.
"I see the two of you, on deck, arguing to the point that Mr Hornblower attempts to hit you and then you throw yourself from the rigging, at a time when there are so few people around that I can only conclude that your intention is suicide. Are either of you going to grace me with an explanation?"
Silence.
"Hopefully a spell in the rigging will loosen your tongues. And also since this seems to be a matter between you two gentlemen, should Mr Kennedy make another attempt on his life, or in any way make himself unfit for duty, I will give the same punishment to you, Mr. Hornblower, as to him. I expect this matter to be resolved speedily. Do I make myself clear?"
"Aye sir."
***********
The spell in the rigging had served only to fuel Horatio's anger, a total humiliation for a lieutenant and all Archie's fault. He was now sat in his cabin, waiting for Archie. He had sent him a note earlier; if he was going to be punished for Archie's misdemeanours he was damn well going to keep an eye on him. Archie knocked and came in, and sat down opposite him. He seemed as angry as Horatio, and neither of them was relishing the proximity in the small cabin.
"Why?" the question surprised Horatio.
"Why what?"
"Why did you rescue me?"
"It was my duty as an officer, I could not have stood there in front of the captain and..."
"That is not what I was asking. It was dark out there. You could have easily jumped in like the proper officer you are" (said with a sneer) "And even if you had found me, pretended that you had not and left me to drown. Would that not have been for the best?"
Horatio was lost for words. In truth he had no idea why he had rescued Archie, but again there was the tiny part of him intent on betrayal that said, you know why...
"I did not stop to think about what I was doing. I did what was natural."
"And now you are saddled with looking after a man who disgusts you. Nicely ironic."
"I have been ordered by my captain so will carry out those orders to the best of my abilities."
"Really." Archie leered at Horatio.
"Stop it!"
Archie leaned back languidly. He no longer cared what happened to him, barely even gave a damn about Horatio, his prized career or his feelings. "What do you find so very threatening about me? Because when we argued you were not just angry, but afraid, and I do so very much want to find out what of."
"You are imagining things."
"I am not. I can read people so much better than you Horatio. You said you were disgusted, but you were also afraid."
"If this is all you can say then you can leave my cabin."
"Make me." Archie was light headed, could say anything.
Horatio seemed lost for words.
"Perhaps you do not wish me to leave. Perhaps that is why you rescued me. You want a little whore to keep you going while you are at sea."
"Shut up!"
"Methink the lady doth protest too much."
Horatio seemed on the verge of striking Archie again, and stood up, raising his hand, but Archie's reactions were faster and he stood up as Horatio did and caught his hand before he could deliver the blow. Then Archie, barely knowing what he was doing grabbed Horatio by the hair and kissed him, forcing his tongue into his mouth and his hand between his legs before Horatio could react. Horatio struggled and Archie let go and ran from the cabin before he could strike, down to the middies berths where he knew there would be too many witnesses for Horatio to follow.
***********
Archie was down in the holds, alone, a prospect which normally he did not relish, but knowing Horatio was out to get him made him doubly fearful to be here, but he could find no way to get out of the duty. A noise made him spin round.
"Archie"
Archie was utterly terrified, all the devil may care confidence of the previous day in Horatio's cabin had disappeared. He stammered.
"I-I-I-I'm s-sorry, please, sorry." He felt like he was begging for his life.
Horatio strode forward grabbed his arms and slammed him into the wall.
"What the fuck did you think you were doing, you filthy little whore? Jack didn't rape you, you bloody well liked it!"
Archie felt sick and was trembling. "N-noo, please no." He was beyond coherency.
"I cannot even hurt you since the captain has decided that I am responsible for you. What am I to do with you?"
Horatio suddenly released Archie and stepped back, and Archie made for the door, but was restrained. "Where do you think you are going to Mr Kennedy? I should like to tell you that if you ever make any such move on me again I will harm you and damn the consequences. Understood?"
Archie was shaking too much to answer so Horatio slammed him into the wall again.
"Understood?" He managed to nod.
Horatio though did not release his hold and pressed against him. Archie could feel the hardness in Horatio's breeches // please, no, not that, not from him //. Horatio was functioning on pure adrenalin, lust mixing with his anger. "Perhaps though you do need to be taught a lesson..."
Archie began to sob incoherently, begging Horatio to let him go, but making no attempt to escape - he knew Horatio was the stronger and Archie had learned from Simpson that to fight was to earn oneself a beating as well as a rape. He began to feel the detachment that had allowed him to survive on the Justinian, that this was happening to someone else, allowing himself to drift away as Horatio clawed at his breeches.
***********
Captain Pellew looked at his latest letter informing the admiralty of their progress; he intensely disliked this but even more so when the news was bad. "I must regret to inform sirs of the loss of a Midshipman Kennedy, recently liberated from incarceration in Spain: his death must unfortunately be recorded as suicide. Mr. Hornblower's conduct during the incident, and generally since his release from gaol has been exemplary, and he is proving himself worthy of his advancement..."
WARNING: This is very nasty: Rape, Angst, Character Death, NC-17 rating.