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Dear Delriece...
I'll try to keep this short, but it's kind of
involved. My girlfriend cheated on me during Beltane (I couldn't be there as
I was away at college), then she made up some story about what had
happened,but since everyone else in the coven knew she made up some story
about rumors and that she'd have to leave the coven (so I wouldn't hear
the rumors). I found out anyway, and she said she was very sorry, that
it was nothing, that she just got caught up in the spirit of Beltane,
etc. She also said she wouldn't keep in contact with the 'troll'. So I
said ok, and we'd be able to work it out. She and I have a long
history, we've been in love for years, and I didn't want to throw it all away
over that. But apparently she lied about more than that. It wasn't
just at Beltane, she kept this guy at our place for a couple of days
after Beltane, and continued to keep in touch after that (phone and email).
She went as far as to get another email address just to keep !
in touch with the guy--she had asked me to clean up the files on our
computer, and I found a few messages dated after the time she said she
was no longer in touch with him. This whole situation is driving me
nuts--I absolutely hate suspicion, but it's very difficult for me to trust
her and I don't know what to do. I think she may still be in contact
with the guy. I also hate 'control' and have no desire to set limits on
what she can do, but I don't want to be in this relationship if she's
still thinking about him---some of what they wrote each other makes me
doubt her sincerity towards me, and I don't want to live like that.
I hope you can help me, and apologize about the length and if this is
unclear. In any case, thank you-
BB
Acoetes in Bradenton FL
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Dear Acoetes,
Lies and betrayal are not the spirit of Beltane and I'm sorry this happened to you and her. Your relationship cannot survive if you continue to mistrust her, and you need some third-party assistance to find a system that will allow you to communicate. If you are serious about saving this relationship, the two of you should go to regular couples counseling until this issue is resolved. But if you know you will not be able to trust her ever again, realize that sooner is better than later if you plan to break up. Good luck to you and yours.
Light!
Delriece
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